Amalia Ferrari's Bodyguard

9. Some of The Past

AMALIA

Looking into his beautiful brown eyes, we keep staring at each other, not knowing what to do, or more specifically, what we did.

We just kissed. A passionate kiss.

I liked it and he did as well.

But.

There will always be a but.

I push him back a little, creating a small space between us. Thoughts swarm in my head as I could not wrap my head on what just happened.

Thoughts of my ex came back and I just...I don't like what I am feeling.

I know that Alessandro is nothing like my ex, but I used to say that about him too.

He was amazing.

What if Alessandro's the same?

But no...he couldn't be. He's an angel.

My breathing increases as I think about what happened to me because of that bastard, and suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

"Amalia? Are you okay?" He worriedly asks, putting his right hand on my left shoulder.

I motion with my left hand, signaling that I cannot talk, and I start walking outside of my room, making my way into Annie's.

She's the only person who could help me when I get a panic attack.

Opening the door into her room, she jolts up from her sleep, probably thinking an intruder.

"Amalia? What's going on?" She runs to me and hugs me.

I couldn't speak and she understood that.

Sitting in her arms, she sings and plays with a strand of my hair. This thing really helps me calm down.

"What happened, baby?" She asks softly.

"Thoughts of that day came back." I simply say.

"But why? Nothing could trigger that unless something happened. What happened?"

"Nothing important, mamma."

"Tell me."

I roll my eyes at her attitude because I know that she would stay up till the morning asking me if I didn't tell her.

"Alessandro and I...kissed."

She doesn't say anything for few seconds, but later graces me with her beautiful voice.

"Finally, I could feel the sexual tension between you too—" her happy voice irritated me, "—but still, it must've triggered that incident." He completes sadly.

"I should stay away from him."

"No! You shouldn't."

"I should. I should stay alone for the rest of my life. You remember what happened with Castelo?—she couldn't bear me. Alessandro will be the same."

"How do you know that? Do not judge before you know for sure."

"Mamma, I am a narcissistic bitch, a manipulator, a sadistic person. Not to mention, broken too.

I flinch from everything, even a touch. How do you think Alessandro will react to all of this when he knows the real me?"

"Alessandro is different—besides, when he's beside you, you do not flinch. You are comfortable with him." She explains, trying to change my mind.

"What if he gets disgusted with me because of my past?" My voice cracks.

"You cannot know until you find out, but what I know is that Alessandro is a good man."