| Lai |
All eyes were on me as I stepped into the kitchen. Last night was one helluva' night. Rico showed me a good time. We could've stayed and gotten to know each other longer but the crowd was getting a little too big for my liking. When I had came in, around 4, Mama was yelling about how my responsibilities were always being left to taken care of. Every word came in one ear and out the other. I know exactly what I'm here for and it isn't to sit and be miserable with these people. If they were tired of "keeping" my daughter then all they had to say the word and the both of us would be out.
"Hey, baby." I hovered over Malasia, stealing a bacon strip. She smiled. She has Corey's everything. Nose, lips, eyes. You wouldn't know she's mine first glance but our smiles were somewhat similar. Yeah, Corey is her father but he never stepped up to the plate, leaving me to play mother and father. That was too hard for me so I decided to leave and tried convincing myself that I was dancing to help my family out. That was untrue though. I was just running away from my problems. Corey was also. He ended up in another relationship with some other girl and had another kid. But I never knew why he never helped me out. For 5 years I gave that nigga my all and he dips once I say I'm pregnant. Sometimes I wonder if he's still with that girl, taking care of her child, feeding them lies, giving her money, buying their kid clothes! That makes me frustrated. His other kid was somewhere getting special treatment while mine was here confused at to who her parents are. But Malasia has family. Real family. Their kid may be happy but his/her parents weren't. Corey will never be able to be in a committed relationship. Good luck to them, though. Mama cut her eyes, mumbling something under her breath. This is their problem. Laisa has been around them too long so they feel the need to put their two cents in everytime I'm near her. No matter what I do they'll always look at me as the mother who left her daughter to go be careless in another city.
"Malasia, go get your bag so we can go." Kev stood up from his seat at the table along with Lasia. She went running down the hall while he went to get his keys.
"Um, where are they going?" I questioned.
"Out, obviously. I'll be back in a couple of hours. " Was the reply she gave then walked out of the kitchen. Rude for no reason.
Kev walked back into the kitchen so I looked at this as my oppurtunity to put my foot down for once. "My daughter's staying here." I said, opening the fridge. It slammed back before I could even skim over anything.
"I'll be damned if you come into my house and disrespect me. All this I have worked for, broke my back to make sure my kids and grandkids would have a better life than mine then you go and get some reputation for yourself, run back home, have a kid, leave again to start a new rep in a different city, then come back expecting me and my wife to do for you. Who the hell do you think you are?"
That question lingered in the air as he left the house. Malasia stood in the arch of the kitchen entrance, looking down at the floor. "Uh..."
Malasia and I sat watching recorded episodes of Dora the Explorer. Apparently, this was her favorite TV show because each time I tried to turn she would stare at me for a really long time. Being right here with her made me realize how much of a sorry excuse of a mother that I am. What made me ever leave this beautiful, amazing little girl here? Something is telling me that she barely knows who I am. There was this curiosity inside of me begging to ask her my name or who I am. Anything to see if she knows me.
"Malasia." I tapped her shoulder. She snapped her head in my direction. "Where's your mommy?"
We stared into each other's eyes. She seemed a little confused but I couldn't make it any more simple for her. She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm your mommy, Malasia. OK?"
