| Lai |
Can I be honest with you please?
It's really hard for me to speak right now
Girl, I've been drinking all day
It's been a long week, can't you tell by my face?
I want to lose myself between your legs
I want to make your body shake
Girl, if you drink this with no chase
I promise you'll have nothing to say, nothing to say
Cause the least I deserve is no conversation...
The music could be heard faintly in the dressing room. My heels were atop of the table beside all of my makeup. I was able to get a job here through Rico, working 6 hour shifts Tuesday and Wednesday, but it's only temporary. Only until I get my money up for a place to stay. Living with my parents is no longer satisfying me. A girl rummaging through her locker caused me to look up. We made eye-contact and she looked so hateful or annoyed about something. I didn't break the eye-contact though. You have to let these females know that they do not put fear into your heart. The door opened and a few more girls dressed sleazy walked in. That confused me because I thought stripping was about teasing and not putting everything out. You can say I didn't get the memo.
Meshelle gave me an concerned look as I walked up with another man offering to buy me a drink. She had been acting this way all night. I guess it's because she's annoyed by me or just tired. This club can really do that. "Another one, Meshelle." I stated, glancing at the man beside me. It didn't even cross my mind to get his name. That was irrelevant anyway. I'm sure we'll never see each other again in the future.
"Is that all you want? I can pay for another one, baby girl." he said. I watched as he reached for his wallet, noticing a ring on his left hand then shook my head in disgust. Why isn't he at home with his wife? "No, keep your money. You may need it on a rainy day." And with that I grabbed my drink and walked off. Alcohol was a central figure throughout my parent's marriage when I was younger so I don't see why this is something I do. Drinking this alcohol reminded me of the time I made the worst mistake of my life.
Slow down, were my thoughts. My actions, however, were in control right now. If this is what it takes to numb the pain then I'm all for it.
I rubbed my head vigorously as if it could help the flashback vanish, before walking down the steps and making my way to the dressing rooms to get all of my things. My locker was open and all of my belongings were scattered across the floor. Fuck! I can't win for losing. My eyes started to dampen so I dabbed around, careful not to smear any of the eye makeup. I kicked my heels off and flopped in the chair. The girls weren't like this in Miami. Yeah, we had problems but we were a little more cordial about them. I guarantee it was the same girl who stared me down. I'm not even about to let her see me angry, I'm going to be the bigger person and just gather my things and leave like an adult.
My phone vibrated in my pocket as I made my way to the parking lot where Yaris was waiting patiently. I didn't even feel like being bothered by anyone. What if is it about Malasia though? "No, she's fine." I said, accidentally thinking aloud. Yaris started blasting her music as soon as I got settled of then sped off. It isn't my style to ride with anyone that has been drinking but who am I to disagree? She's my only ride home for these two nights and probably more. Plus I've been putting a little something into my system.
"Call me tomorrow, OK?" she said, unlocking the door for me. I opened it while nodding.
I treaded down the hall feeling that gloomy mood take over. I walked into my room, immediately started stripping, then walked into my bathroom. Moving back here was the worst mistake of my life. Nothing about the place meets my needs. What am I doing? The same thing I was doing in Miami. Putting my job before the significant things like my daughter or the relationships with my family members. We all used to get along but now they can't see eye-to-eye with me. They can belittle me but it won't make any difference. Once they step foot in those stilettos then they're eligible to talk all types of bullshit, until then let me make the decision of "disrespecting" myself as a woman.
