Red

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

Rhiannon

I lay on a pink lounger, pink towel sprawled underneath me, with the sea as my only view. I'm thankful for the sunglasses protecting my eyes and the factor fifty sun cream, as I feel the sun burn down on me. It's scorching hot. My feet even burn when they touch the patio. But it's nothing compared to the burn in my heart. The pain is still lingering, driving me insane. I didn't sleep all night, I tossed and turned, shutting my eyes for a maximum of one hour before opening them again. It was like a cycle on repeat. I was hoping some vitamin D and sunlight would do me good, but instead it's allowed me to wallow in my own misery.

"One ice cold lemonade for my sweet darling niece." Caroline sings as she places my drink down beside me, of course on a bright pink cup coaster, and then plonks herself in the other pink lounger not too far away.

"So, are you feeling any better this morning? I forgot to ask how you slept."

It's only eight am and she already wants to talk about my situation? Does she not realise I'm avoiding it as much as possible. Nevertheless, I open my mouth and speak.

"I wouldn't call it sleep, I'd call it more rolling round in the sheets - and I wish it was the fun kind." That comment made me think of all the times I rolled round in the sheets with Jacob. God, the man is sex on legs. Just thinking about him and his naked body makes me growl in frustration.

"Oh dear, neither of those sound good. The sleep and the growl. Unless I'm mistaken, I do not have a dog so I know for a fact that was you. Why the aggressive noises?" She tips her sunglasses to rest on the bridge of her nose, as she stares back at me for a response.

"Because I'm still thinking about him. He's all I can think about aunt Carol. I miss him, a lot." I know I sound pathetic and she shouldn't feel sorry for me, because it's my own fault, but that doesn't mean I don't feel awful about what I did.

"Like I said yesterday, you need to grab what you want hunny. Sitting here soaking up the sun and catching a beautiful tan isn't going to bring the love of your life back. Don't get me wrong, it will make him want you - if you know what I mean," she winks and I shake my head. "But sitting here isn't going to bring him back. He probably doesn't even know where to look."

I scoff at that. He had two hours yesterday and clearly didn't bother to, or he would have found me. If someone leaves, the first place you look is an airport, right? Unless I'm stupid for thinking that, but I don't think I am.

"Go on, what's that for?" Referring to my scoff, she rolls her eyes and presses on.

"My flight was delayed by two hours, Caroline. If someone declares they're running away, where do you look?"

"An airport?" She looks at me confused, as if I'm asking a stupid question.

"Exactly! So why did he not come? Tell me your answer for that, because it's clear he doesn't want to look for me."

She sighs as I sulk. Yes, I am sulking. Because I fucked up and there's nothing I can do to correct it.

"Okay, I get it. Maybe he didn't get the letter that quick? Maybe he was too angry to look straight away? Maybe he wasn't even up yet? You sent it quite early right?"

Another growl escapes and I shut my eyes because as soon as she releases a huge belly laugh, I know she's going to tell me to stop.

"I think you need to have a long and hard think my darling. I don't think you know what you want. Whether you love this man or not, something's stopping you. I'm presuming your father, but you can't let him dictate your life forever. You know you've always got a place here, all three of you." She nods at my tummy as she says the latter and I smile. I know I have a home here, but hearing her actually say it is better.