Red

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

Jacob

When the door man calls to notify me of mail, I'm already up and partially dressed. It's five A.M, a strange time for someone to deliver letters or parcels, but I'm too zoned out to think about it. I barely slept a wink last night. Instead, I lay awake staring up at the ceiling in bed sheets that smelled of her and a room that smelled of her too. I'll never be able to drink coconut milk again or even look at a coconut without thinking of her. I've never experienced heartbreak so intense. I know in my heart she was the one for me, there will be no one else. I just know it inside.

The elevator ride feels like forever until I get into the lobby. I see the new door man, Frank, standing waiting for me with a letter in his hand.

"Up bright and early Mr Black."

I force a laugh and pretend it's normal. "Yeah, might have a jog before work. Thanks for letting me know about the letter."

"Your welcome, pretty girl that dropped it off."

What?

I turn back, not even moved from my spot yet, to ask what he means. "A pretty girl?"

"Yeah, the same one that keeps visiting you." He gives me a wink and a small laugh before turning back to his position at the door.

I'm froze for a second before I look down and see my name handwritten on the envelope. Why would she write me a letter? What could she possibly feel the need to write a letter for? My hearts racing because this doesn't sound good at all. Oh no, Rhi, baby what have you done? How I'm still calling her baby I will never know. She's no longer mine and I need to stop.

I start opening the letter before I contemplate going back upstairs, leaning against the desk to read it.

Dear Jacob,

Where do I start? I love you so much. I'm not ever going to deny that, and I'm sure my heart will always be full of love for you. In ten years time, I know I will still love you because you're my everything. You're the love of my life baby, and I wish this could have been different. I'm so sorry for the cruel words I spat at you, words you didn't deserve one bit. Not to forget they weren't true. Our baby means more to me than anything ever. I'm already in love with our baby, just like how I love you. What I'm about to tell you will probably anger you and make you hate me more, I wouldn't blame you. I'd hate me too. In fact, I do hate me. But I have to do this. I'm leaving and I'm keeping our baby. I could never kill him/her. Why would I kill something we both made from our never ending love? Because let's be honest, our love will never die. We will always love each other. I didn't want to deny you access to your own baby, because you'd be an amazing father. But I can't stay and I won't suck you into my vile life. My father will kill you and I couldn't forgive myself if I allowed that. One day, I hope we can be a family.
I love you forever and always, always in my heart, your Rhi and baby Black Junior.

The giant tears falling down my face, and the terrifying panic attack consuming my body, has me stuck in one spot. I've dropped to the floor, leaning against the reception desk as I take in all the words in that letter. I still can't believe what I have just read. She's keeping our baby and running away. I will have a son or daughter out there and she's too selfish to let me go with them? Does she not realise I'd drop my entire life for the both of them, because I love them so much. And even though she's doing something that should make me hate her, it doesn't. Because she's not killing our baby like I thought she was going to.

"Mr Black! Are you okay? Mr Black!" Frank stands in front of me frantically calling my name as I drift off into blackness. My chest is tight, my head is spinning, my heart is aching and I'm too weak to stand. Before I know it, the stress of the past twenty four hours catches up with me and I see nothing but black.