Blessed With A Curse

Chapter 33

Back to potions something I had been dreading for an enormously long amount of time. I was glad to see that the paired seating plan had been changed to fours at each table. Snape was now studying defence against the dark arts and we had a new teacher. Professor Slughorn, he buzzed with energy, not something I needed with such little sleep.

"I have tried to keep your seating plan as similar as I can to last year!" He boomed, great. Thankfully Blaise and Pansy were sat at our table, Blair hadn't showed up just yet.
"Do you want one of us to sit next to her?" Blaise offered but I shook my head, I didn't want to make it obvious there was a problem I'd just need to get use to it.

When she did come in I was completely shocked, she looked so very different. Her long dark curls now cut to shoulder length. It suited her, made her look much older but it only reminded me that she wasn't my Blair anymore. She was changing and she was different. She took the seat uncomfortably, not giving any of us eye contact, none of us said a word to one another. I could smell her sweet vanilla scent, that still hadn't changed. I leaned further away, conscious not to get wrapped up around her smell. I probably should have swapped with Blaise. But I wouldn't want him near her and if Pansy was next to her she might take her head clean off. It was the only option I had and I'd have to bare with it for the entire year.
"You've changed your hair." The words fell out my mouth and I instantly regretted them.
"Um yeah." She said stunned, I wasn't expecting a response. "I guess that's what people do in break ups." She shrugged. I didn't say anything else, Blaise and Pansy gave me a stern 'what the fuck' look.

Blocking her out, I tried to concentrate on the class but it was hard to keep up with Slughorn's bubbly energy. But he grabbed my attention when he brought out a prize. Liquid luck. If it wasn't exactly what I needed, I don't know what would be. I could use it to find the vanishing cabinet, better yet to kill Dumbledore. I needed it more than anyone here, I was desperate for it.

"The recipe can be found on page ten of your books." He said and we all quickly flipped to the correct page, eager. "I should point out however, only one other student has been able to brew this potion successfully." He smiled, the pressure adding on. I wasted no time, starting straight away in a hurry. It was absolutely insulting, these instructions were clearly wrong, I and the rest of the class completely unable to cut the bean, it bounced and flew around the room. I looked at Blair, who'd already gotten on to the next set of instructions. How?
"Crush it." She said reading my thoughts. I instantly put my block back on.
"It says to chop." I said through gritted teeth, still trying to slice through the thing.
"Well I'm just copying Harry, he seems to be getting on just fine." She hummed, reading his mind for more hints.
"That's cheating!" I barked and she just rolled her eyes. Never the less, I copied through what she was doing but it had soon become a race. I needed to beat both her and Potter. Beads of sweat swamped my face, my hair sticking to my forehead. I couldn't lose.

"Sir I think I've got it!" Harry called and my mouth went dry, crossing my fingers I hoped he was wrong. But it was Potter of course he'd gotten it, again not deserving, not in dire need like me. It wasn't fair. As soon as class ended I stormed out the class room, pissed that I'd blown my chance. Was no one on my side? It was ridiculous, I sat in a sulk all day, my year getting worse by the minute.

As soon as it hit nightfall, I rushed to the room of requirement, my task to find the vanishing cabinet and get a start on it. Homework would have to hold on until I got this worry off my chest.
"Draco." A voice called. I spun around only to find Pansy Parkinson loitering in the corridors, spying on me?
"I thought you'd gone to bed." I snapped but she moved closer.
"I know what you're doing." She simply said. She didn't have a clue what she was on about. "I can help you."
"Pansy please just do me a favour and fuck off." I moaned. I just wanted her to leave, not waste any more time.
She pulled up my sleeve and for some reason I didn't push away. She exposed my dark mark, she wasn't shocked or disgusted, more in awe.
"I know that the Dark Lord has given you a task, let me help you." I quickly pulled down my sleeve, shaking my head. "I know where it is." She bribed, like a fish on a hook, I had no other option.
"Don't speak about this to anyone." I threatened but it didn't waver the dark smirk she had laced on her face.

"You've been looking in all the wrong places." She mocked me, her fingers dancing across the cluttered furniture and she skipped by it, leading us deeper and deeper into the maze.
"Have you been following me?" I demanded.
"God you really are so certain of yourself aren't you?" She questioned eyeing me up and down. "Get a grip, why would I want to follow you?" She finished.
"Then how did you know what I was up to?" I argued.
"Well you was acting suspicious and I was curious." She said flatly.
"So you followed me." There was no way for her to wriggle her way out of this one.
"I was observing, don't get your knickers in a twist." She snickered before becoming to an abrupt holt. My chest barging into her back at the sudden stop. I looked up in her direction, not seeing anything worth my time. "Well are you just gonna stand there and gawk or are we gonna get a start on it." I hated how she used the term 'we', this wasn't a we thing, this was a me thing. Her only purpose to show me where it was and then fuck off. "Fine I'll do it myself." She huffed before pulling off the dark cape that had kept the cabinet secretly hidden. My heart thudded against my chest, a smile slowly appearing on my face. I'd done it. Well Pansy had done it but I was going to take the credit either way.

My fingers traced its design, it was identical to the one of Borgin and Burke's. Now just to find the fault. I eyed it, observing what that fault might be, unaware that Pansy was still lingering.
"You can go now." I said, getting out my wand to start on my work.
"Piss off!" She defended. "I've just shown you where it was, it's mine as much as it is yours." Her voice raised, anger pouring out of her.
"Don't make me obliviate you." I shot, my eyes not moving from the cabinet, my brain ticking at the puzzle.
"Come on Draco don't be such a crab." She whined. I know Pansy very well, usually I'd fight against her annoying torments but I had no time to waste, giving in was the only option and I had to take.
"Alright then!" I snapped. "Just sit down and shut the fuck up, I need to concentrate." She took a seat, moving a few things off the dusty desk that sat closely to the cabinet. Her legs swinging off the desk, making a distracting swooping noise. "Can you not." I grumbled, completely losing my train of thought. She abruptly stopped her movement, her face twisted in anger.
"You're no fun." She whined.
"The doors there." I offered and she quickly shook her head.
"You aren't getting rid of me that easily." She smirked, her eyes demanding my attention. This was going to be near enough impossible with her gobbing off.
"Right so now will you shut up?" I huffed. She thankfully stayed silent, picking the nail varnish from her nails.

I grabbed a green apple from my pocket, placing it in the cabinet. I knew the cabinet didn't work but I had to see it for myself so I knew where to start. Placing it inside and then closing the door behind it I whispered the words. Leaving it a second I then barged open the door, unfortunately seeing the apple there in exactly the same position I'd left it. This was going to be difficult. I spent at least a good half an hour on it, probably in the same situation I was when I started, before Pansy started piping up again.
"Why didn't you swap seats?" She asked referring to potions.
"I dunno," I shrugged my shoulders, trying to carry on with the cabinet. "Didn't think it would make much difference being sat opposite her to being sat next to one another." Which was partly true.
"Well if she knows what's best for her she'd move." Pansy spat, clearly more annoyed about Blair's presence than how it affected me.
"Knowing Blair she won't." I sighed. "She won't want to make an issue out of it." She was always too kind, putting overs before herself.
"Well I could always-" she started.
"Pansy could you please shut the fuck up, I'm trying to concentrate." I snapped. Without another word she pretended to zip her lips, back to swinging her legs back and forth. I'd just have to block out the irritating the noise.

It was late when we got back but I felt I needed to write to Blair. The letters I didn't even know she'd receive. But I wanted to do it, no matter how tired I was.

Blair,
You changed your hair. It looked amazing, it really did but the only way I saw it was that you'd finally moved on. I was no longer bothering you the way that you bothered me. I probably should be over you now, I should be happy you're over me but I'm not. It's not as easy as that. But you looked beautiful, as always. I just wish you were mine again. I wish we were somewhere that it was possible. Where I wasn't a death eater. I'll keep dreaming of that place, somewhere safe for me and you. But for now I'll leave you alone, it might not be something I want but it's what I need. I'll always put your feelings before mine, no matter how much it hurts. I love you Blair, still.