Blessed With A Curse

Chapter 44

Even here sleep is uncomfortable. I know she's awake as she toss and turns in the quilt, her breathing left in a sigh as she begs for sleep to cloud her mind. I lay staring at the back of her head, wanting to reach out and touch her curls but knowing that it would only disturb her more. I feel restless but am still unable to move, my eyes are sore and crave some form of relief but I'm afraid if I stop watching she might disappear. I feel guilt that I could sleep when she is unable because it is me who has made her paranoid and sick with fear. I shouldn't sleep because I have too much to think about, too much to worry about. I saw no clear path anymore, I didn't know where this hell was taking us, whether we'd make it out. If there was some way I could help Harry I would and it made no sense. Was it just selfishness? Because if he succeeded I'd get my happy ever after. if he made it out alive every wrong thing I've done could be forgotten about and the burying weight on my shoulders could soon feel some relief. Did I want Harry to die? No, of course I didn't. I believe my hate that was once directed towards him has always been misplaced, I wanted what he had. But that soon changed now, if I was in his shoes I knew I'd make the wrong choices, I'd fail everyone and it wouldn't be a first. Flashes of Dumbledore's death flood my mind and I squeeze my eyes shut trying to replace them with something happier, something peaceful. I'd never be able to forget his death. How he stood there un afraid, still kind and forgiving. He was just another innocent added to the list. I could think of multiple ways that I could have saved him but none would have worked, only resulting in my own death. Which moments before I had begged for so why couldn't I take the plunge? Because of her, because I knew she was waiting for me and I knew she depended on me. She was the only reason I was fighting.
"Draco," her voice cooed in the silent abyss. "go to sleep." She rolled over, her head snuggling into the crook of my neck, I laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. Closing my eyes, trying to keep my mind clear and not distract her from her own sleep. "I like to see your dreams." She admitted, her fingers rolling patterns into my naked skin. "It helps me go to sleep."
"The only dreams I have at the moment turn into nightmares." I moaned more to myself than to her. She traced a heart over my chest, her fingers dragging up my goosebumps along the way.
"I like when you dream about me." She carried on. "You see me in such a strange but beautiful way, I wouldn't even recognise myself through your eyes." I could hear the tiredness in her voice, hoping that talking would help her drift of.
"I see you for who you truly are." My fingers twirled around her hair and she hummed by the small sign of affection, eventually letting her eyes drift. "Stunning, kind, courageous, strong..." I whispered, her breathes deepened as she began to fall asleep. "So perfect."

The next morning dragged on, the school echoed the absense of its usual students. Snape had introduced his new rules and inflicted his own punishments. The place resembled the army more than anything else. We continued to learn no spells, everything text book based, not like any exams would be taking place. It felt like a waste of time and that's how it was treated. Blair hung onto me for dear life, never wanting to leave my side and it wasn't difficult either, all our year able to share the same classes as there was so few of us. I didn't speak to Snape, there wasn't much to say, I knew he was wallowing in his own self pity, he was just as lost as I was. He knew the end was edging nearer and it showed in his cold reflection. His eyes pools of ink, skin battered and torn, he was a living corpse. His stride weakened, as he dragged his feet through the hallways. I never understood this man and it was becoming clearer that I never would. We were similar in the sense that both the light and dark played us in a game of tug of war. We differed in the fact that Snape was a good man but the darkness was consuming him. Where as I was a bad man and the light was beginning to change me.

It wasn't un usual to get looks from Gryffindor but Ginny Weasley held onto some sort of resentment. The trio weren't here, she'd lost a friend, a brother and possibly a lover. Clear as day we saw how Ginny awed at the single thought of Harry. She had every reason to hate me, my actions have him on the run, constantly in danger. If I could take it back I would.
"I should speak to them." Blair spoke up. "It's unfair. I know I should speak to them but what if they know?" Her hand went straight to her arm as she scratched at the skin, not realising she was doing so. I tugged her arm away but she fought desperately, trying to peel the mark away from her skin.
"No one knows!" I grabbed her wrists tightly safe in my grip. The pools in her eyes formed as she rapidly blinked forcing them back. "You have to stop worrying Blair." I pleaded with her. The more upset she got the more people began to notice.
"I don't think I can do it Draco, I don't think I can lie." Her voice cracked, defeat spilling out. Before the tears had chance to fall, I pulled us into a near by storage room, slamming the door behind me.
"Blair!" My hands cupped around her face. "You've got to stop doing this, you have to stop thinking about it." Remembering back to when I first got the mark, also terrified that people would know. Unlike her friends mine were proud. Pansy the only one who knew even seemed envious that I had been chosen. Blair would not have the same reception. "Distract yourself Blair, it will do you no good to dwell. We can't change what's happened and I'm so fucking sorry." I would never be able to apologise enough.
"Here is the worst place!" The tears began to fall, I wiped them away with my thumb but they continued to cry out. "This isn't Hogwarts anymore, it's a ticking time bomb and I want to tell my friends! I want them to be safe!"
"Nothing is going to happen here Blair, Snape wouldn't let it." I had faith in Snape, although he was on the dark side I knew he had a kind soul. I knew he wouldn't endanger the innocent.
"He doesn't have control Draco, I see the fear in his eyes. There's children here, children that might never see their parents again. I might not." The image of her parents flooded my mind, how she loved them so dearly and them the same to her. Something I had always wanted, something they gave me. She'd lost her parents, the thought of losing my mother made me sick to my stomach and our bond wasn't even as close to what they had.
"I won't let that happen. You told me to imagine the hope, why aren't you?" I asked.
"This place is suffocating, I just... I need a break." She said so desperately. My eyes soaked into hers, seeing the fear, the sadness, the regret. They didn't sparkle like they once did and I knew it was my doing.
"I'm sorry." I said again. She sucked in her lip, fighting back the words she was going to say.

"If I could distract you..." I whispered, my breathe brushing against hers.
"You can." She hummed. All I wanted was to kiss those lost lips, I was craving her touch more than anything. The only thing that could distract us from this hell was the love we shared for one another.
She stepped closer removing all the space we had in between us. I could see her heart hammering against the thin linen that covered her chest, hear her deepened breathing as her arm wrapped around my torso, her eyes never leaving mine. My lips moulded into hers, her tongue skimming over my lips as her eyes fluttered closed. My hand wrapping around her neck, slamming our lips harder against one another. Pushing our bodies into the wall that was behind us, the cleaning equipment behind us tumbling to the ground. I wondered if I would ever get bored of this. Knowing I wouldn't, knowing that the lips that locked onto mine was like my own personal drug, something I could never stop wanting to take. My only escape. Our heavy breathing crowded the room, drowning out any other noise. Her hand fumbled over my trousers, her fingers undoing the button, allowing my already hard member to spring out as she pulled down my boxers. Going to class was irrelevant and this was everything we needed and we wanted. She ducked down, her eyes staring at my dick, she licked her lips and I felt the excitement in my core ignite. Kissing at the tip, her tongue glided across my length, driving me absolutely insane. Handling a fist full of her hair, my head flung back as her warm mouth wrapped around me. She was never afraid to take me whole, pushing me to the back of her throat, her mouth doing magical things. I couldn't help but push her further at a quicker pace. Her hums against my cock sending me into an absolute frenzy, the vibrations sending me into an overload. She moved her hands to my balls, kneading them as sucked at the tip, her tongue dancing over the sensitive tip. I could feel my orgasm brewing, knowing I wouldn't last much longer. The groans escaping through my gritted teeth, my legs shaking.

"What on earth is happening here!" A voice boomed. Everything around us shattering, Blair jumped up from her kneeling position, my shaking fingers hiding my cock before turning around to see our intruder. "This is absolutely unacceptable!" Mcgonogal face ran pale as Blair wiped away the wetness from her mouth, her face soared a deep red.
"This is my fault." I admitted, trying to take away the embarrassment from Blair which I knew was impossible.
"To Snape's office now!" She ordered me. "Blair back to your class." She snapped. Her eyes resembled those of an owl as she desperately looked at me, worried. I kissed her on the cheek before departing. Snape was nothing to worry about.