Blessed With A Curse

Chapter 37

Christmas soon came around. This year I unfortunately wouldn't be spending it with Blair. She went home though, her parents awfully worried for her. Was it weird that I missed her parents too? Either way I wasn't going home either, not with the house being crowded by death eaters. I'd much rather stay here, finish the cabinet. Pansy demanded she stayed too even after my constant refusal. Christmas with Pansy Parkinson, it really couldn't get any worse. I went to finish it alone but she came along sadly. She held a white dove in her hands. It struggled by her touch, wanting to be freed of her harsh grip. Even animals didn't like her, I couldn't help but chuckle. She popped it in the cupboard, closing it quickly behind her as it desperately tried to escape.

"Let's see if it works then." She hissed. I said the words, waited a while before opening the door back up. It laid there curled up, unmoving. "Dead." She said simply. "You clearly needed to do a better job." She smirked pure evil. I removed the bird disposing of it quickly. I was annoyed that it didn't work. I hadn't planned on it to. But at least it got there, just couldn't make it back alive. Maybe that's how I could get rid of Bellatrix, I thought darkly.
"Maybe I could get it to work if you weren't constantly in my ear." I remarked.
"You know you love it." She snickered.
"You aren't fooling anyone with that." I chuckled.

Pansy knew her place, to sit there and be quiet. Thankfully she had her headphones, unfortunately they were loud enough that I could even hear the shit music she loved so much. Somehow I'd come accustomed to her annoying presence. I was hoping I'd have done this before Christmas, so I spent the next few hours fixed on it, trying to figure out the next puzzle. I was becoming tired, my eyes feeling heavy but I wasn't giving up yet, it was only three am, I at least had another hour until Pansy would drag us to bed. It was a good thing she did because otherwise I'd be here all night every night, now Blair was at home safe.
"Draco can I ask you a question?" She finally spoke up after hours of silence, it was going to happen at some point.
"Go on." I sighed, completely uninterested.
"What does love feel like?" I shot her a confused glance. Her face dropped, she looked... upset?
"Why are you asking me that?" I questioned her.
"Can you just tell me instead of causing an argument." She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well erm-" I stuttered. "It consumes you, your life revolves around that one person, their life holding more importance than your own." I paused, unsure on why I was talking about this. But she gave me an encouraging look to carry on. "You'd do anything for that person, as long as it made them happy. Even if it meant leaving them." I bit down onto my tongue, sucking in a sharp breathe. "Love is made for disaster, it never ends the way you want it to. It's not a fairytale like it's made out to be. It drives you insane. You're lucky you've never felt that kind of pain." I looked away, my heart feeling heavy.
"But I have," she got up from her seat, sneaking up closer to me. "I'm in love with someone." She admitted. I couldn't look into her eyes, even though she demanded it. "But they're in love with someone else. So I guess your right... it never ends the way you want it to." I looked into her eyes, they held an enormous amount of pain. I knew that she was talking about me. I probably knew for a long time that she cared for me, not like she did for anyone else. But avoided it at all costs, pushing it to the back of my mind because the truth was I'd never feel the same.
"Then maybe you shouldn't waste you're love on someone who isn't deserving of it." I spoke softly, my words coming out slow as she held onto eye contact.

The space between us was thin, I could feel her minty breathe fan on my face. She pushed her lips gently against mine, not aggressively like she had done before. I didn't pull away. It had been so long since I'd felt anything close to affection, I let it absorb me, clearing my mind for a few moments. Her hand laced through my hair, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. Her tongue running over my lips which I parted, giving her access. It was strange but I enjoyed it, the air growing thick. I let my hands slip around her waist, body on body, her chest pressed against mine. I shouldn't be doing this.
"Pansy," I breathed, pulling away slightly.
"Shut up and kiss me Malfoy." And I did, I returned my lips to hers, her tongue exploring mine. She pushed me against the desk that she usually sat on, her hands roaming my chest. Undoing every button as she made her way down. Whipping it off, her kisses travelled to my neck, sucking gently at the sensitive skin. I was overwhelmed by lust. It was so wrong, but I needed this. Desperate for it. She grabbed my hand, pressing it against her breast, I squeezed it, my heart facing. Now undoing her shirt, I smothered her neck with kisses and nibbles earning a low moan. Her breasts were large, over powering, her black bra struggling to hold them in, my hand explored them again. Her hand now rubbing against my member. I forgot about everything for those few moments, forgot who she was, forgot who I was, forgot who Blair was. I moved my hand away from her breast and she instantly put it back.
"Don't stop." She moaned before returning her lips back to mine, pushing her body heavily against my own. I pulled my hand away, quickly stopping the kiss, she looked at me disappointed. "What wrong?" She stammered.
"I-I can't do this." I admitted, although my body was saying completely different. She attempted to kiss me again, trying to get me to shut up but I pushed her back. "Pansy stop." I breathed.
"Are you joking Draco!" She shot. Embarrassment taking over all her features. Her face heating a red glow. She quickly did up her buttons of her shirt, going to bolt for the door. I grabbed her hand pulling her back.
"Pansy don't leave." I begged. The tears in her eyes were dying to break through but she did her best to hold her composure, I couldn't say the same for myself.
"What do you want from me Draco?" She barked.
"I-I don't know, just don't leave I'm sorry. I don't want to lead you on." I tried explaining myself but it was no use. I was as ashamed as she was, I couldn't believe I let it get that far.
"It's too late for that!" She spat.
"I'm sorry." Is all I could fathom.
"I'll never be good enough will I?" A single tear trickled down her cheek. I tired to wipe it away but she slapped my hand away, quickly ridding it herself. "I'll never be Blair, so I'll never be good enough for you!" I gathered my composure, anger running through my veins on how she spat her name. Like she was the most repulsive person to live.
"I love her Pansy!" I snapped. "What do you want me to say?"
"There's nothing you can say! I just fucking wish you'd get over her!" She screamed, her finger pointing into my chest. "Fucking get a pair of balls and stop treating me like the dirt at the bottom of your shoe!" She wasn't finished. "You don't fucking deserve my love, you don't deserve hers, you don't deserve anyone's!"