Letters for Sally

Chapter 16

Chapter 16
It was Sunday morning and Sally was excited for the first time in months to attend church.  She fixed up her makeup a little brighter and more cheery than normal.  She was feeling joy again and wanted to express it in her clothes and makeup like she used to before her mother died.  She was ready for worship.  She had a freedom she had not felt in a long time and found herself worrying less about what others thought.  She was just happy and loved Jesus.  She could feel Him again working in her and around her.  She realized that He never left her but that she had stepped away and turned herself away from Him.  She wasn't completely lost but she was causing a drift in her connection with her Savior and King.  She was happy that the bridge was fixed and she could not wait to go sing to her God in corporate worship and listen to Harry teach the word.  She had grown fond of his preaching style and started listening again.  She didn't see it until she surrendered to Jesus her heart and pain but now it was clear, God had used Harry in a mighty way.  It was like everything was slowly becoming clearer.  She still missed her mom and was still enjoying the journals and letters but she was also able to be present in the other parts of life going on around her now too.  Her deep anger was gone and all that was left was sadness and she missed her mother but was accepting that she would see her again and until then she needed to live.  Jesus made that possible and she knew it. That night in her room on the floor crying out to God, changed her instantly.  She was back and she was shining again.  She would never be completely the same.  This entire experience changed her in ways that could never be reversed but she wasn't sure that she wanted them reversed.  Sure she would love to have her mother back but she wouldn't change the last five months.  She had learned a lot about her parents and herself in this short time.  She was thankful it was only five months of deep pain and sorrow and not years.  She realized God had chased her and He finally won.  She was glad he was so faithful.

Worship started with her favorite worship song and she found the words on her lips.  She paid close attention to the words she was singing and she allowed the tears of thankfulness to roll down her cheeks. "You called me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail.  And there I find you in the distance in oceans deep my faith will stand.  And I will call upon the Lord...". Sally sang the words with both hands high in the air.  She felt the Lord's love and she was amazed at how much lighter she felt. She started to wish she would have asked God to help her sooner but then she heard God's whisper, "Enjoy my peace child, therefore there is no condemnation in Christ. Don't look back."  She let the words of the Lord wash over her entire being.  He was her Father in heaven and the only thing she needed.  She was basking in this love.  When the music stopped and Harry took the stage she sat down and smiled up at him.  He made eye contact with her and winked at her with a smile spread all across his face.  They shared a moment both knowing God had performed a miracle last week in Sally's life and it was worth celebrating. 

Hotah sat in the back with his mother and father for church.  It was a perfect place to watch Sally worship.  Not that he was trying to watch her but she was so different and he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.  If he was in love before he is more so now.  She was already like an angel but this change in her made her even more attractive.  He knew she was a christian and that she loved God because she told him so while they worked but she left it at that.  He knew her deep sadness and even moments of anger toward God was due to her grieving.  However, he had no idea that she was in love with Jesus like he was.  This was a new side to her he had not seen. He watched her lift her hands to heaven and he smiled and thanked God for whatever He had done in her life.  She was a private person but she opened up a few times with him and he knew her pain was deep.  He knew it would be time and the Lord that would heal her but he never thought it would be over night.  She was truly a completely different person in so many ways.  She had peace and joy that she wore like clothing now.  It was attractive, it was beautiful, it was making him fall all the more harder for this girl that may be leaving in less than a month.  He had to let her know how he felt.  He had to pray and ask God what to do.  He didn't want to lose her but he also wanted His heavenly Father's will in his life.  He just hoped and prayed it involved this beautiful woman singing to their Lord and Savior.

Harry started his sermon with a story, a love story about Maggie and himself and then about a man named Dale and his wife named Jane.  Sally wondered where he would go with this story but she listened closely and kept an open mind.  He explained how it was love at first sight with both of them and that oftentimes that is what we see in the Bible with the Old Testament love stories. He used Jacob and Rachel as an example.  He said the beginning is always the easiest. It is the hard times that make marriage hard to keep together.  God uses marriage as the example of God and his people a lot in the Bible too.  When we walk away from God it is like walking away from a spouse. The husband and wife relationship is the closest human relationship we can experience. A part of us is torn into two pieces when we are torn from our spouse, from someone we love so deeply it feels miserable to be apart.  God is our source of love, joy, peace and even faith. We need to stay close to Him.  He went on about love and joy and how God wanted us to love him with all our heart, body, mind and soul.  Sally liked the sermon, she understood it on an intimate level and knew just how hard it is to be distant from God.  While she had never been married she could understand why he used the marriage relationship to describe it because she was starting to feel like she wanted to always be around one other human being and his name was Hotah.

Hotah sat and listened to Harry closely and wondered if God was speaking directly to him.  Not about distance from God but about his feelings for Sally.  He loved her, he felt all the same feelings Harry described in the marriage.  All the same feelings he described in the story about the two couples.  He wanted to marry her, he wanted to protect her, provide for her, make her happy, live his life for her and would lay his life down for her at any moment.  He loved her from day one.  Maybe he wasn't so crazy after all.  Maybe just maybe God made her for him and him for her.  He thought about this for a while after service was over and sat in his seat.  He hardly noticed the people moving about and talking.  Someone touched his hand that was on the chair in front of him.  He looked up and there she was.  The woman of his dreams. "Hello Hotah", Sally said softly while looking down into his eyes.  "Hi, Sally, I think you're right about us needing to talk."  Sally sighed and nodded her head yes.  "The horses need to go for a trott in this nice spring weather.  Maybe you would like to assist me in exercising them.  We could take a picnic and go down to the creek and I can teach you how to fish." Hotah said looking up at her.  "I did tell you I wanted to learn to fish in the spring.  I would love that.  I will meet you at the stables at 1pm. I will grab us both some lunch, I know what you like to eat." Sally said with a sweet smile.  She enjoyed just being near him. Hotah grabbed her hand and stood up. "Sally, Don't take this wrong but I watched you worship and I can see God is changing you.  He is healing your pain.  I think that is...h," tears tried to form in his eyes, he took a deep breath, "that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life.  You were already like an angel, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life but now... now you're stunning and breathtaking. I will see you at 1."  He put the hair strand by her face behind her ear and smiled down at her again.  Sally was completely frozen but perfectly content to be right here with him.  The rest of the church just disappeared. "Ok see you then", she replied. He turned away and went toward the door.  She stood in place for what seemed like forever until Maggie came over and put her hand on her back and asked, "What was that about?" Sally said plainly and without any hesitation, "Maggie I really think I am in love."  Maggie chuckled to herself and said to Sally, "Sally, I really hope you are not just figuring this out."  Sally turned to Maggie, "I have never felt like this before.  This is very new.  Maggie how did you know you were in love?"  Maggie, looked up and thought for a moment, "I just knew.  I didn't want to be anywhere but with him.  I couldn't see my life without him.  I felt more at home in his presence than anyplace else on earth and I would be willing to be poor, sick, rich or healthy as long as I did it with him."  Sally sighed and looked over at the door he had left from, "Maybe I really do love this boy."  Maggie smiled and asked her what she was doing for lunch and all of a sudden she remembered they were meeting at 1. "Maggie I am so sorry I better go!  I am meeting him at 1!  He is taking me fishing and we are working the horses in the field instead of the round pin. We Gotta go!"  Maggie smiled and nodded in agreement.  She went over to tell Harry they were headed home and then they headed out the door.