Letters for Sally

Chapter 3

Chapter 3
Sally felt like a huge boulder was on her chest.  Breathing had become difficult.  She lost her hunger and thirst and felt numb in places in her body.  Her mind was cloudy and her tummy was upset.  She felt like at any moment she could just be sick.  She saw people all around her but her eyes feel blurry and she couldn't hear right.  All the people talking around her sounded like a loud muffled blob of noise.  She couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.  Her body was numb and somehow ached all at the same time.  The only person she could see was her mother, the only person she could hear was her mother.  She could hear only her voice, only her laugh.  A strong scent came to her nose, her mother's perfume filled my scenes.  She looked all around her. She should be happy to see all these people she usually only sees at holidays.  Her mother's family was there.  Her father's family was there and even Roger's wife and three kids were there.  She felt like she was going both blind and deaf and all she wanted was her mother.  She was all she needed.  But her mother was the person everyone kept insisting was over in the casket at the end of the long room.

A man with a white suit she had never seen before caught her eye.  He looked at her with a soft frown on his face.  It brought her mind to a place where her thoughts were consumed by only the color of his suit.  Everyone was wearing black or dark-colored clothing but he was different.  He was wearing white.  Her eyes could not help but follow him across the room as he shook people's hands and made his way toward her.  "Hello Sally, I would ask how you're doing but I believe that is a silly question considering the circumstances."  Sally kept her gaze into his eyes and asked, "Do I know you?".  A small smile crept up one side of his face as he shook his head no, "No child unfortunately we have not met in a long time but I know a lot about you and I knew your father well."  Her eyes widened at the sound of her dad being mentioned, "You knew my dad?", as she shifted her body toward him now paying full attention to this handsome man in an all-white suit.  "How did you know my daddy?", she asked with a little bit more clarity in her mind.  She was confused about her feelings, about her surroundings, and reality but she knew one thing, anything that connected her to her father or her mother was all she cared about right now.  At this moment she wanted them, anyway, she could have them.  This man became the most intriguing thing in the room.  He seemed to have known her father and she felt this deep desire, almost as if she couldn't live another minute without knowing whatever he knew about her dad.  Somewhere in her mind, she knew she had lost them both.  Her eyes told her she was gone.  The counselor told her that day at school and Roger had explained it to her also.  For some reason, she couldn't understand.  It was as if her mind just shut down without her permission.  She was in complete denial, she assumed, because reality and her world weren't making any sense.  She couldn't tell what was real or what was not.  She kept hearing her mother's voice, hearing her laughter.  She could smell her mother's perfume and even see her mother's smile as clear as day.  She wasn't sure why all this was happening or what was happening for that matter.  She knows what she saw and what people kept telling her but it all felt foggy or like some kind of crazy horror movie or bad dream she just needed to wake up from.  But, who was this guy?  The guy who knew her dad and was wearing this white suit?  He was the center of her attention, he knew her daddy and any story about his life was her main concern.  Her mother had always told her about him but now... Now... She is laying in a casket and would not move.  They all say she is gone, that Jesus took her home.  But why would God take her!? "I need her", she whispered to herself. She looked back up at the man in white as he handed her a pamphlet.  The front cover said 'Hope Ranch'.  Then he handed her another Pamphlet that said 'Grievance guidance'.  "Who was this man and why did he just hand these to me?", she thought to herself.  He looked at her and a soft and kind smile spread across his handsome face.  "Sally, right now is not the time for me to share my relationship with your parents but when things start to slow down I will.  Until then here is some literature to help you cope with this loss.  The other is my information, address, phone number and about my ranch out in Montana.  I will contact you soon.  Your parents and I were the best of friends in college and I promise I will tell you all about it later.  Read what I have given you and call me anytime."  Then he walked away.  Before she could figure out what was going on he had disappeared in the crowd.  She sat quietly as people said they were sorry and shook her hand.  She didn't offer a hug or let anyone too close; she just sat in her seat and nodded at people with a fake smile strung across her face as she tried to understand what was happening to her.