Letters for Sally

Chapter 18

Chapter 18
Sally screamed and fell to the ground. Hotah looked up from cleaning a fish and saw her laying on the ground crying holding her legs.  His heart pounded faster and he jumped up to go to her.  He sat down behind her and wrapped his arms around her and then looked her whole body over.  He touched her all over and then looked into her eyes, "What happened, what's wrong, are you ok Sally, what happened?"  Hotah had fear ripping through his body. He wasn't sure what happened but he had this deep desire to fix it. Sally pointed at the snake in the water and told him it bit her leg.  Hotah knew wildlife that was part of his learning from his father; he looked at the snake and realized it was just a normal water snake and not venomous.  "Ok Sally we have to clean it up and make sure no bacteria tries to grow."  Sally put her head into his shoulder and began to cry.  It scared her more than anything and it was starting to hurt some.  She didn't know much about snakes except that they could kill a person or make them very sick.  The event scared her bad enough she started to shake. " What will happen to me." She looked up at him with fear in her eyes.  Hotah smiled down at her and said, "Sally this one isn't going to hurt you, many of them will but this one is ok.  We just have to clean it out to make sure infection won't set in and then you will be ok.  Let me see the bite."  He let his grip on her shoulders go and pull away to look at her leg.  It had bitten her several times, that wasn't normal but at least it was not venomous.  He took her into his arms and picked her up with one strong swoop.  She fell into his arms and laid her head onto his chest.  She was starting to stop trembling when he placed her down on the flat rock.  He went to his bags and got out the first aid kit and a bottle of water and some liquid soap.  "Wow, you really are prepared aren't you?" Sally said as her nerves started to settle.  "Sally this will hurt just a little. I have to scrub it out to make sure nothing stays behind before I bandage it up." It was bleeding pretty good and that gave him relief. "The excessive bleeding is good, that means the body is naturally pushing out any bad stuff that can get in there and cause infection."  Sally watched him as he quickly and efficiently cleaned and bandaged up her leg.  She looked at his face as he concentrated on her needs.  He was totally focused on the job at hand and she started to realize how much of their bodies were touching.  When Hotah was done he looked up at her and saw she was intently looking at him.  He looked at her face and then her lips and grabbed her hand in his. "You're going to be ok Sally, it wasn't a serious bite."  Sally looked into his eyes deeply, "Yes, I know.  I have never felt so safe with another human in my whole life.  Hotah I don't want to leave you.  I want to stay right here forever with you.  This may sound crazy", tears began to form in her eyes, " But I think I am in love with you. I haven't ever been in love but I can't imagine my life without you. I am so scared how you might feel about me and I am sorry if this is not ok to say but I have to make a phone call and leave soon and I couldn't go back regretting not telling you.  Even if you reject me."  she began to cry and put her head down in her hands.  Hotah pulled her into an embrace and held her tightly to his body.  Tears began to pool into his own eyes, he could not stand to hear her cry or to see her hurt.  She had been through so much and she was hurting again.  He pulled away slightly and grabbed her face into his hands.  He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled. "I have known I want you forever for a while.  I love you so deeply it hurts me to be apart from you.  I think about you at night at home, when I am working, when I am at church.  You are always on my mind.  The thought of you leaving makes me sick and I can't not imagine my life without you in it.  Sally I love you more than I knew it was possible to love a girl.  In such a short time you have become my whole world.  I have prayed about what to do and how to deal with this because you're leaving."  Sally began to cry louder.  She didn't want to leave; she hated that she had a life back in the city she had to deal with.  Why did she have to make such decisions on her own?  They sat for a few moments and Sally cried into his chest while he held her.

He felt such relief, she knew, but now what?  She was leaving.  He had found a girl he wanted to spend every waking moment with.  He found a human he wanted to give himself to, all of himself - and she was leaving.  His heart began to pound, he felt fear.  Not sadness or anger but fear, panic, he could not live without this woman and he knew it.  He wanted to kiss her to beg her to stay.  He wanted to talk about their future but all he could think about was respecting her and making this as easy for her as he could because he loved her more than even his own body.

Sally cried and wanted to stay in his arms forever.  How could she leave and now she knew he felt the same way?  What was she going to do?  How could she leave him now knowing they both felt the same way?  After she heard the words he said to her she wanted to melt into his arms.  He loved her more than she expected.  She didn't really expect anything, maybe that he liked her too. However, his words were like promises, deeper than emotion, he loved her like her dad loved her mom, like Harry loved Maggie.  She had to figure out what she was going to do and she needed help.  Sally looked up at him, smiled and wiped her tears.  "We will figure this out.  I didn't expect to come here and fall in love with someone, but I did and I know God had a plan.  I'm just not sure what it is."  Hotah looked at her and said, "Why don't we ask him? Will you pray with me about our future?"  Sally was almost in shock, all she ever wanted in a man was one who loved Jesus as much or more than she did.  She was in awe and she thought maybe this is God and not just her feelings.  Maybe he was the one God had in mind all along.  Then she thought about the reality that if her mom had not died she would not have met him.  Her mind started to think about everything that had happened in the last months and she realized God had a plan, what the enemy meant for harm and evil God was using for Sally's good.

Hotah grabbed both of her hands into his own.  His hands were much larger than her own and she loved the feel of him holding hers. "Lord, we are trying to do this right, do this your way.  We can not help that we are completely in love with one another.  We know our feelings towards one another matter to you.  We want your blessing, we want your plan, we want your will.  Please show us what to do.  Be clear and give us the strength to deal with whatever comes our way, whatever you decided is right and good for our future.  God we put you first in this matter.  We need your wisdom.  God I Pray for Sally, she is young and has so many decisions on her plate.  She is about to go deal with her entire life, make plans, figure out what she is supposed to do.  She has a home in the city she has to decide what she will do with and she has no idea where to start.  She needs a father, a heavenly Father to guide her.  Please be with my love, my beautiful Sally, and protect her when he goes.  We love you, we trust you and we adore you Lord, In Jesus name, Amen."

They looked at each other for a moment both feeling peace and enjoying each other's company and bodies still close, holding hands now.  "I want to stay like this forever Sally but it is going to be dark in about an hour, we need to head back." He said while holding her hands to his face, his lips kissed her hands and he smiled into her eyes. "I do love you and I am so relieved I can tell you now.  That was hard to keep inside.  I felt like I was bursting inside every time I saw you and we work together so it's a good thing I didn't blow up."  Sally smiled at him and giggled, "Yeah me too."  They hugged each other for a minute and he kissed her forehead.  He helped her mount her horse, packed everything back on the saddle and then got up on his own and they headed back to the stable.  They didn't talk much, they both said what they felt and they both felt joy and peace after their prayer.  They had no idea what God's plan was but for now they were together, they were best friends in love and they trusted God was going to direct them in the way they should go.