Danganronpa: Sunken Despair - Free Time Events

Kai Natsuki Free Time Event (4/5)

As I left from breakfast, I suddenly got a message from Kai. I looked to my e-Handbook and looked at what he sent me.

- Kai: I'm ready. Meet me in my room. Ed's away so we'll be able to chat privately.

I smiled as he was ready to talk, but still felt nervous for whatever reason he had for being dismissive. I tried asking myself, but I don't know why he felt uncomfortable about Japan...hopefully I'll get some answers from him...

As I arrive to his dorm, I knocked on his door to let him know I was here. He looked happy to see me as he lets me inside, though why do I feel he's forcing himself for my sake? Whatever the case, I took a seat at a nearby chair and looked to him as he sat on his bed.

"So...can I get you anything before we start?" he asked while rubbing the back of his neck, followed by avoiding eye contact.

I wanted to reply with 'no thanks, I'm good,' but as of now I think he's trying to avoid the topic. I know I said I wouldn't force him to talk, but he can't just run from this, so instead I replied, "You're avoiding the topic...we both know why I'm here"

"...Right, why I'm not favorable with Japan, of course," he sighed. "Well...how do I say this in a way that makes sense...?" he asked himself. He took a second to ponder until he then asked me "When a bird starts flying and leaves the nest for the first time, do you...expect it to...do you expect it to come back to that exact nest? Do you expect it to gain anything amazingly after returning for so long?"

"Uh...I don't understand that at all..." I awkwardly admitted.

"Right, uh...well..." he looked to the floor, stumbling to find the exact words to say to me. He felt conflicted about this, where his breathing grew heavy and he gripped both sides of his head until he took a deep breath and looked straight at me.

"What I'm trying to say is I've spent almost my entire life around the world. Constantly going from country to country, learning their every language and bits of their culture, and so on...and I never felt so accomplished from that! Yet during my time in revisiting England for Ed...I didn't expect Hope's Peak to find us and recruit us both. I mean, a school that would guarantees success for anyone who attends sounded too good to be true! But that would mean I'd have to spend three years in Japan..."

"But...what's wrong with Japan exactly? You still have to answer that," I pointed out.

"...Heh...if I'm being perfectly honest? I just...had no interest in learning more Japanese or relearning some of its culture...and I think it's because of the world-wide trip..."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Ever since I was born, I learned about a natural amount of Japanese, yet when I was old enough to go on the trip with my parents, and learned my first foreign language, I just felt all excited and just threw everything I knew about Japan away, leaving room for everything room for everything that's new to me...but when I returned to Japan..."

"What would a bird gain after returning to its nest after so long...' I think I understand now..." I added on.

"Yeah...and don't think I don't know my own roots...but to me, Japan never...felt like a home to me...and..." Kai began choking a little to get the words out, making me confused at what was going on until tears began escaping his eyes. "I...I'm a horrible person...aren't I?" he said through the tears.

"What? Where did that come from?" I asked, confused why he would even think that. "You're not a horrible-."

"You don't understand!!" he loudly interrupted, followed by sniffling his nose. "Back at Hope's Peak, I was trying to find a way to endure those three years in the country, but my selfishness...my selfishness lead not only me, but my best friend to a contest to win a chance to study on a boat that sails around the world for the entire school years! We both won, thanks to our talents combined...and now the two of us are here because of me...because I'm too stubborn to embrace the country I was born in..."

"Kai..." I said, reaching towards his shoulder to console him. He didn't mind, but he kept staring at the floor in his own depressed world.

"Honestly...if I chose to ignore what I wanted...my parents would still know where their son was...my best friend and I wouldn't be in a killing game and-," he stopped himself from talking on the subject further. "Sorry...I shouldn't be talking like that...especially if it means you'd guys being down here and not us..." he added.

"Kai...it's not your fault you know, you couldn't have guessed that this would happen to you and Ed...you're not to blame," I tried to reassure him.

"Thanks, Haru...but I can't shake this feeling as if it was my fault...and hey, bright side is now you know why I'm not so big on Japan," he replied, forcing a smile while still having tears flow down his face.

"Is...is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I asked him.

"...If you could, can you give me some space...?" he asked, holding his head slightly. "I just...I'm sorry for inviting you out of your way to my dorm for this, but...j-just give me some time..." he pleaded.

"Alright, say no more..." I replied, leaving the room...

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Haru Notes:  "What would a bird leaving the nest gain if it returned years later," huh?  In a way, I can understand why Kai would feel that way about Japan...but I don't think his stubbornness is valid enough to blame himself for bringing himself and Ed into this messed up killing game...he's not a horrible person, no matter what he says...I hope I can convince him that...