Perspective│Poetry¹ (Completed)

Part 23: A Letter to the two of you I've lost

Dedicated to @TofuMaple and @Lilpeepswhor3 

Tofu, Xan, This poem is for you.

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Today, I lost you.

I know I lost you.

I caused you pain today,

I became a person who lies today,

and 

I became a person who lost

everything they ever wanted.

I'm so sorry.

I was supposed to be your dove,

but I became your raven.

I was supposed to become the blooming petals,

when I became the shriveled core.

I became darkness,

underneath the cover of light.

I wanted to be the puzzle piece,

that fit along with the others,

but became the chipped, cracked piece,

and would never, ever fit.

I found a path,

what a beautiful path,

and took the turn that looked like peace,

but became war.

Everyone has their demons,

but I never tamed mine.

My angels never came to help me,

I just had my own mind.

Both of you astounded me,

both of you cared.

I never fit in the pieces, 

so why should I now?

You knew I was in pain.

I knew the same for you.

You gave me hope, and gave me peace,

and gave me a reason.

You told me I was perfect.

You told me I was loved.

You told they didn't deserve me,

and you gave me power.

Love is an ally to hatred, and anger,

but I seemed to forget it was also an ally to joy.

You gave friendship,

you gave me chuckles, and snickers, and tears of joy.

You showed me, I was not completely broken,

nor was I damaged.

You showed me that tears aren't weakness,

but a sign that I was strong for so long.

I thought that misery had grown tired,

had grown weak, and tired and old,

but I should have known that he couldn't.

I did the wrong things,

I said the wrong words.

I made decisions I will live to regret,

and choices that would finally be heard.

And that night, 

with pools of guilt streaming down my face,

I knew I had to do something.

So, you, you know who you are,

I just want to say I'm sorry.

I betrayed you, I was selfish.

I saddened you, and now I'm guilty.

I'm still no longer a raven, nor a dove,

but a swan, waiting for peace.

I'm sorry. I really am.

I was blinded with stupidity.

I understand, if you still don't care,

and you are free to leave.

I just wanted to let you know,

why this happened,

and I wanted to let you know,

that you did not deserve it.

Dora

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@Lilpeepswhor3

This poem is dedicated to you. I'm sorry. I'm probably failing English because I wrote this instead of doing my assignments, but...I have no regrets. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you so, so, much.