polaroid angel - dreamnotfound

˖⋆࿐໋₊ 𝘴𝘪𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯

dream clumsily drops the ball and it goes.. straight down the gutter.

"okay, okay!" he slurs, "just- just one more round, a'right?"
"you just lost by like fifty points, dream," i huff, trying to keep my boyfriend steady.
"well let me actually try this time then! no f-fair..."

i firmly grab both his hands, stopping him from going anywhere.

"you're wasted baby. i think it's time to leave. you've had a little too much."
"ugh, that's boriiing," he hiccups.
"i'll walk you home, that sound good?" i suggest, "you could use some sleep."

i didn't think i'd see dream this drunk, ever. he's been binge drinking the entire night, while i've only had one or two. it was entertaining at first. we laughed our asses off, stopped acting so competitive, and actually loosened up for once. but then things quickly got out of hand. dream would start sneaking away to places when i wasn't looking. and every time, he came back with more booze.

now i'm stuck with this tree of a human, branches and twigs swaying in the non-existant wind. he keeps stumbling and messing up, and i keep having to come to his rescue. i'm so scared that he'll fall and accidentally hurt himself, hit his head or something.

the roles have been reversed. it's almost funny. i'm no longer the little one, who needs to be cared for and protected. he's no longer the savior, the powerful guardian who swears to keep me safe in every situation.

"fine, whatever."

at that, i pick up our shoes and snake an arm around his waist to lead him out of the bowling alley. closing time is approaching. not many people are still actively playing, only a couple of lingering friend groups. i hope none of them spot us on the way out. it would make dream look horrible. like he's a toxic, alcoholic husband who relies on his puny wife in a skirt to bring him back home unscathed. i can already smell the prejudice in the air.

"tonight was a lot of fun though, right?" i say, putting on a fake smile to not make this awkward.
"yeah, it-it was, really fun," he chuckles, "though i didn't get to fuck you yet.."
"dream, no! in this state you'd end up fucking yourself by mistake, don't even try!"
"okay then, another time."

i help him get the bowling shoes off, and his converse back on. he rest his heavy head on my back as i lean down to tie them. how will i help this uncontrolled mess get home? the worry in me is taking over. why did i let him drink this much? why why why? it's monday too. will he even come in to work tomorrow? i doubt it. hangovers can be hell.

"let's go dumbass," i mutter when my shoes are on too. dumbass doesn't seem to mind his new name.

we get up - or i get up with a limp dream clutching onto my side - and pace towards the exit. outside the air is fresher, but colder too. i shudder in my sweater. this neighbourhood is somewhat familiar to me, and i do remember where dream's apartment is located. should be a fifteen minute walk or so.

fifteen minutes if we were both sober, that is. his weight dragging me down doesn't exactly speed us up. i have to take slow, planned steps to keep him from slipping out of my grasp. the last thing i'd want is for him to trip over the curb and fall onto the road. please let this walk be normal.

luckily we're not stumbling our way through any bad neighbourhoods. this is still a wealthy part of the city, where i'd usually feel calm. the worst that could happen is a homeless man harrassing us, and that i'm used to.

what i am definitely worried about though, is my trip home. i hate riding the metro this late, even if it's a weekday. i'm so vulnerable in there, all alone. nothing particularly bad has happened to me before, apart from the occasional slurs here and there. those are okay, as long as no one gets physical.

i'd love to get a taxi or an uber, but it's ridiculously expensive. i need to save that money for more important things. sometimes not going broke is worth the anxiety.

"you'll have a killer hangover tomorrow," i joke, attempting to brighten the mood.
"they're not that bad anyway," he yawns.
"see? you are a little sleepy after all."
"shut up.."

i kiss his cheek lovingly, holding him tighter.
"cute."
"i'm not- i'm not cute."
"yes you are. you're adorable," i explain, "though i wish you didn't have to be so drunk right now."
"wasn't me," he mumbles, head falling on my shoulder again.

we pass clubs, closed shops and cafés as well as countless skyscrapers. i wonder how long dream has been living here for. did he grow up here, or did he move here as an adult?

when i think further, i realize i still know almost nothing about him. okay, maybe 'nothing' is exaggerating, but multiple pieces of his life are yet to be discovered by me. it gives him an intriguing, mysterious aura. that same aura that reeled me in in the beginning, when we first met.

the problem now is that we're dating. and i'd like to know who it is that i'm dating. sure, the mystery keeps me hooked, and the sex and cuddles are more than enough to make me stay, but i want to know more. i want him to open up to me, fully. i wanna show him that he can trust me, since clearly he's got some trust issues, protecting his true identity like this.

the mask he's put on is coming off, slowly but surely. it's his dominant and confident, yet sweet and nurturing personality that i'm falling for, after all.

but i want to be the one who gets to learn all his secrets too, and all his insecurities and flaws. i wouldn't judge him over a single thing. nothing could make me walk away at this point.

"alright, this is it."

the tall building towers into the sky over us. i let dream stand on his own feet for a while.

"th-thank you, for tonight," he grins, reaching into his pocket for something.
"thank you too. now go up and rest please."
"wait, just-"

he gets his wallet out, digging around in it, presumably for money.

"uhh, for an uber or whatever. i want you to stay safe."
"dream, that's not uber money, that's-"
"two hundred bucks, i know. take it. you deserve it."

my fingers hesitantly take the bills from his hand.

"i'll call you," he slurs, pulling me in for a goodbye hug once i've taken his 'tip'.
"night, dream," i whisper.

without another word he lets go, turning away to leave.