Truth Lies in the Eyes (MCYT)

Back on the Road

[Hey, to those of you who are still reading this, I'm sorry that I haven't been posting. Mental health and motivation issues got in the way. I will try to upload more often but I can't promise anything. Enjoy the new chapter!]

At this point, we had all been sitting for 5 hours. I was the only one awake in my carriage. I was just watching the landscape shoot past as the constant galloping of the horses rung throughout the silent space. Since the extensive amount of time was clear to me, I decided to simply think for a while. Thinking back on my life before all of this chaos would probably be a mistake, but hey, everyone makes mistakes.

I got instantly reminded of the few days before we had run away. just a few days before running away, I had been forced to wear a dress out and got into a fight. The fight was with some random dudes who were salty about having lost to me before. Of course, I had lost. My movement had been extremely restricted by the long, not so stretchy skirt. The only part of me that hurt at that time was my pride. I hated having to know for my whole life that I lost to those stick-like guys. Not only that but after they had finished me off by making me unable to stand up. Though they had to use two people to hold me down, they did get me to that point. They found Nikki and brought her to where I was. They then proceeded to start beating her up.

Now that I had thought back, I realized that it must have been the first time my weird abilities were activated. During the time, it had almost felt like a dream. I had stood and watched all of them bleeding to death on the ground of the alley they had beat me in. The cobblestone was soaked with their blood. I should have realized then that it should have bothered me much more than it did. Nikki said that she barely remembered that day when I had asked her previously.

I snapped out of my trance as I notice that I have been absentmindedly tapping the doorframe. I shook my head attempting to clear the event from memory.

"What'cha thinking about?" I jump slightly hearing her hushed voice out of nowhere. "N-Nikki! I didn't realize that you were awake," I laughed nervously, "How long have you been awake? You need some sleep."

"So do you and I never say anything about it," she yawned, "You really need to get a handle on that insomnia of yours. You're making me more worried every day. How do you even function for days without sleep?"

I shrugged at her, "Practice I guess. Anyways, I have a question."

"Oh? What is it?" she tilted her head, "This better not be another one of those self-deprecating jokes you let slip sometimes."

My eyes widened, then they went back to resting position, "I was hoping that you either forgot or didn't notice."

"Lana, I may be happy and absentminded sometimes, but I'm not dumb," she smiled at me sympathetically, "I know you're messed up both mentally and physically."

Her sweet smile had almost made me irritated for some reason. I knew she wasn't lying but I wasn't a fan of the sweetness. Her last statement kind of hurt, "Wow, that's one way to put it."

"I didn't mean it that way," she was desperate not to upset me, "I'm just not that clueless, but what was your question?"

"Ah, right, that," I sigh, "How much of that day do you actually remember?"

We were both quiet for a while. She broke the silence after a few minutes.

"I... I remember most of it," my heart drops, "I saw all the blood, I watched them all die that day. But I knew you would assume that I thought you were a monster. Which I don't. The anger just got to you a little too much-"

For some reason, I felt the need to cut in, "I killed 5 young boys. Then I killed 2 grown men. What about that doesn't scream monster at you?"

"Both of those instances were you protecting me," she was panicking in an attempt to explain herself.

"Are you really okay with me killing for you? Nikki, I don't deserve someone like you. I'm doing more damage than it's worth. I've ended the lives of seven humans. You shouldn't be associated with me anymore. I will mess you up and get in the way of your life. I'm a criminal so you should get far away from me," she was starting to tear up.

" I don't want you to be any further away than right next to me," She sniffle, "I don't want you to be any more distant than you already are."

"Nikki, I know it hurts but it's for the best," I found myself unable to contain tears just looking at her, so I turn to stare out the window as I spoke, "Why do you think no one likes me? It's just me, Nikki. They were right, and you should follow their example."

Why are you doing this to me?!" she cried as quietly as she could with the emotions erupting.

"Because, Nikki! Because I keep hurting people unintentionally or at least coming close and... and I don't know what ill do if you're the next person that I end up hurting or killing," I stared out the window for a few seconds. I had a feeling that I might have begun to cry so I pulled my hood over my head. I returned to staring out the window.

She called my name multiple times, receiving nothing of a response from me she started crying silently. A few seconds later Sapnap yawned and sat up to see the person next to him crying. He asked her a few questions and awkwardly attempted to comfort her. I was silent for the rest of the ride. I was even silent when George had woken up and yelled at me for hurting another person by making Nikki cry. He even made the point that I was losing everyone and that I shouldn't have done that to someone I was so close to. He had no idea what had happened yet he found it reasonable to yell at me.

I kind of felt bad for him. Dream was someone that he cared about a lot. At the same time, Dream is a wildcard and will do a lot of dangerous things. I am probably the only variable he thinks he had slight control over to keep Dream safe. It doesn't really matter at the moment because, in battle, there is no care to be given.

All I had left to do for the rest of the ride was to think. How did one journey and days on the road lead to another with less time on the road. Was this going to become a theme?