Red Room Hours with John Tan

Pancakes

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of knocking, and you couldn't orient yourself, your brain felt muddy. It took a moment before you recognized your childhood bedroom, and everything crashed in on you. Your chest immediately ached and you could feel your shoulders rising and tightening with tension. Suddenly strong hands squeezed you backward against a warm expanse of bare skin, and John wrapped his body around you. It felt like he was literally holding you together, preventing you from falling apart.

"Relax babygirl," John's silvery voice eased out the words, his breath against your cheek. "It's your brother, breathe and get yourself together before you open the door." He kissed your neck from earlobe to collarbone and you felt some of the stress ebb away. You could do this, you only had to keep it together until your aunt arrived and you could get back to the hospital.

"I'll be there in a minute Robbie, let me get my robe," your voice started out tremulous with emotion as you called through the closed door but by the end you sounded reassuring. You didn't hear his response but you heard him slide down the door, and it almost made you smile. He used to do that every Saturday morning growing up, grumpy Robbie waiting for you to get up and make pancakes. He never burst into your room, only flopped to the floor in protest to wait. You could picture him legs crossed, elbows propped on knees, chin propped on hands. Thinking about that reminded you of your mom's exhausted request 'keep things normal for him' and you vowed to do just that.

You checked your phone on the bedside table, finding no messages, and the time a little after seven am. Rolling toward John you kissed him gingerly and snuggled into the deep cave of his arms and sighed. This felt like the safest place in the world right now and you wanted to refuse to leave.

"Thank you for staying, I don't know how I could have gotten through last night wi-" John silenced you with a dizzying kiss, his mouth taking yours until you winced, your bitten lip throbbing again.

"I wanted to stay, don't thank me. I want to be here for you Y/N." He released you slowly and scooted you toward the edge of the bed. "I'll stay as long as you need me, I promised that last night and I feel the same this morning."

"I know you're making the music video with your cousin today. As soon as my aunt gets here I'm going back to the hospital, and they won't let you in the ICU. Unless you planned on getting started early you shouldn't be late." You'd slipped from the bed and pulled a robe from the back of your closet door over the t-shirt and shorts you'd slept in just incase you needed to get up quickly in the middle of the night.

"I would call him and cancel if they would, but I'll take you back to the hospital and meet him after. Just swear that you'll text me if something happens or I need to pick you up." John sat on the edge of the bed, wearing just his boxers from the night before. The desire had died down, the thought of everything you'd have to deal with today damping the flame that usually curled in your belly when you saw all his tawny skin exposed.

"Do you like pancakes?" You tried to bring a smile across your lips, but stopped at a slight curve of your lips.

"I love pancakes, even more if I have help to cook them." He stood from the bed and slipped on his jeans easily and the memory of how you'd struggled to get them off last night turned the flame up just a little. "Are you staring at me Y/N?" His eyes intently watched you as he closed the button and dragged the zipper upward, you shook your head.

"Nope, just thinking about if I should make chocolate chip or banana." You walked to your bedroom door and opened it very carefully to avoid letting Robbie fall backward. He looked up at you from his seat on the floor and smiled, not a care in the world. You wished you could so easily erase unwanted thoughts.

"I heard you say pancakes!" He grinned and jumped to his feet, taking off for the kitchen still clad in pajamas, hair a jumbled mess.

Breakfast prep stayed cheerful with you both keeping Robbie engaged with the different tasks of pancake making. Robbie sliced a banana for his and you found a bag of chocolate chips for the rest. Only two eggs hit the floor and most of the flour ended up in the bowl during mixing, and after thirty minutes six plate sized pancakes sat on the table. Butter and syrup were passed around to everyone and glasses of orange juice poured. John and Robbie chatted away about some Marvel superhero, and the distraction only allowed him to ask once about your parents. You explained that Mom and Dad were hanging out together at the hospital but Aunt Mary was on her way. Excitement to see her dogs that went everywhere with her preventing him from returning to his inquiries about anything else.