On thursday i stayed at home because Luke has been right actually. I needed a rest, i totally felt drained.
I then took the time to call Lola and some of my other friends at home and i noticed that i missed them so much. Whatever had happened with my family situation, the decision to leave my friends behind wasn't an easy one. But the little converstation i had with Lola gave me strength, strength i would need to succeed the up coming year.
On friday morning i woke up with a strong headache but i didn't want to skip school again so i pulled myself togther and got up.
My mood was so bad that i wondered if it actually could rub off on somebody near me.
I took the chance and drove to school the first time alone because Carol told me, that she wouldn't need the car today, there was so much to prepare for her birthday party tonight.
Her birthday only was tomorrow but she decided then to celebrate until the next morning because it was her 50th.
As i arrived at the school i went straight into my art class and wanted to take a seat at the window but someone held me by my arm.
"Hey, i didn't know we're taking arts together!" Lukes' warm voice welcomed me.
I haven't known that either.
I only nodded and starred at the floor.
"You can sit next to me if you want" he showed me the seat in the last row where he already had put his stuff.
"Okay thanks"
I followed him to our seats and as we sat down i noticed his nosy glare from the corner of my eyes.
"Didn't see you around yesterday" he pointed out.
"Yeah, i stayed at home taking a rest, just as you suggested me, remember?" i didn't know why i was so annoyed but my headache was killing me.
"Oh.. how are you feeling then?" he asked cautiously.
"I'm fine."
"You don't look fine."
"Then stop looking,"
The silence that followed after my bitchy outburst was so unberable that i wished i just had stayed in bed. He looked at me with startled eyes and i regretted my words so bad.
"Luke.. sorry.. forget what i said..i..," i got interrupted by the guy that walked in and walked around the teachers desk to sit down on it then. With one hand i pulled lightly at my hair while chewing on my inner cheek, my head felt as if it was about to explode any minute and i felt bad for letting that out on Luke.
"Hey everyone, my name is Mr. Sullivan and you will have to put up with my hard lessons of art this year, so be prepared and be ready to learn the really important things in life." a cocky smile ended his monologue and his friendly tone of voice made evident that he wasn't that serious.
You could tell that this guy was really self confident and a small part of me wished he could teach me from that.
He then went on with what we would have to expect over this year and what the projects will be about and during all this i listened so closely to everything he said that i almost forgot everything around me.
I was listening to his voice but not to the content of the words he was adding onto another to built sentences that might made sense but i didn't care because my thoughts traveled again back to America, to my mom and my dad.
It wasn't that my mom just left and never came back home after we knew about her affair.
She needed a long time to pack her bags and to leave the house she had lived in the last 18 years.
My dad even gave her the option to come back because he still loved her.
She really came back begging she could move in again but after she stayed for a week making me believe everything was fine again she once again left and ripped my heart out again. She tried to explain that she fell in love with that guy who was a complete stranger to me and that she can not resist the feelings she had for him. They must be so strong that giving up a family must be nothing compared to this. Still in disbelief i shook my head wanting to get rid of those thoughts but remembering that night she left for the second time i felt tears welling up my eyes.
"I don't want to stop looking at you. I think i wouldn't be able to anyways"
"What?" i turned to Luke, trying my hardest to gulp down the tears.
He had only whispered but i did understand the words.
My heart was almost punching into my chest.
"You said i should stop looking at you.. i just wanted to let you know that this will not happen" he said and without giving me any other attention he walked out of the classroom, so did the other students and i just noticed that art lesson was already over.
--
I haven't seen Luke or any of the others around the remaining lessons on that Friday, so i got a little surprised when Ashton waited for me at my car.
"Wait, how do you know that's my car..."
"Look Emmi, I'm gonna pick you up at 7pm so be ready" he grinned so i could see his big white teeth totally ignoring my question, "it's weird because we have to pick up Calum, he usually is never around so.."
We stay silent for a couple minutes until I notice that this wasn't the only reason he had waited by my car. "Oh you want me to take you home, don't you?" i smile. Ashton always seems so confident but when it comes to such things he's just a little kid.
"If that's okay for you" through his dark blonde fringe he looks up to me with big brown eyes.
I laugh and we both jump into the car.
While passing all the noble houses from the suburban area i wonder how far Ashton really lives from the town.
"It didn't take me this long to fly here from America" i joke and look over to him, I can see a little laugh escaping his lips.
"Yeah trust me it's not easy but I mostly spend my nights at Michaels' so I just come back here to see my peeps, you know siblings and Mom and stuff. What about you?"
I'm not quiet sure what his last question was referred to so i just went along with the next thing popping up in my head.
"Why is Calum so cold and distant around you guys?" i ask and hope that Ashton won't avoid me this time.
"You have to know that Calum and Luke..well they just don't get along" his voice got more silent by speaking of this now "but whatever hey we're here" the cheerful tone in his voice was back within seconds.
We say goodbye and after Ashton assured me for the dozenth time that tonight will be pretty cool, he finally got out of my car and walked inside his house not to forget after waving goodbye with his big ass hands which made me laugh again and then i noticed that there wasn't so much difference between him and Lola.
