"Have you actually ever written a song?" Luke asks me bluntly.
I bite my botton lip and smile in an awkward way back at him.
"No... i haven't.. you could tell, right?" my voice was a bit shakey, i really didn't want him to think i was a jerk or something.
"No, it's fine. I mean, if you want to learn it tough, i can tell you it's not that hard. Just go and let feelings speak for you ,you know?" he smiled and the awkward feeling i just had minutes ago went immediately.
"Do you think there's something you could write about? Anything that kinda makes you extremly happy or pains you?" also it sounded like his full attention was drawn on me, yet his eyes were back on his guitar strings.
"Yes." i wasn't sure if he expected me to start telling straight away or not, so i just waited Luke to answer.
"Fine" he blinked and i watched how his full lashes closed and opened over his blue eyes. Suddenly i felt like everything around me moved only in slow motion, i mean when do you ever sit still and watch someone else blinking? I never even noticed people blinking, i only did this for myself. Or how Luke played his chords. He was so gentle with that, so exact.
"Emily? You there?" he looked at me, his brow furrowed.
"Yeah..yeah i am, sorry." i stutter.
"Maybe we should go inside again.. and continue just another time" Luke said. He looked so worried.
"No, no i'm fine" i tired to assure him but he cut me off.
"Michael told me about your almost-fall at the football stands, maybe you just really need some rest, also because of the traveling down here and all.. you know, i'm just worried"he pursed his lips and i recognized there was no way to discuss it further because he already packed his stuff together and directed me to the building.
As we went along the school halls i decided that Luke was maybe the only one besides Ashton that was trust worthy so i felt the need to make something clear.
"Uh..Luke?"
He instantly turned around with a questioning glance. "You're okay?"
"Yeah. Well, no. Look. You don't have to pity me in any way... i just want to have some fun, i guess" the last part of the sentence came out quietly so i wasn't sure if he heard it or not.
Luke looked a bit speechless, i could tell he hadn't expected me to burst out like that.
"Did i pity you?" he finally said and that made me laugh. He didn't laugh along so i shook my head. "No but.. it felt like it. I have no idea.. i just don't wanna be seen as that weird American girl.. that i am.. so maybe you could keep that a secret and act like i'm..cool?" i starred at the old floor, didn't dare to look up.
It was so silent around us that i could hear every of Lukes breaths. I even started counting them as he didn't say anything.
But suddenly he started laughing. Not in a mean way but so amused that it almost hurt my feelings but somehow i had to join in and then we ended laughing about something i wasn't sure about what it was, in an empty school building late in the afternoon.
I couldn't remember when i enjoyed myself that much the last time.
"Then how about you coming to Michaels party on friday? You maybe will have a little fun there, just give me your number i'll text you the details" he still was laughing his cute laughter.
"Uhm yes, why not, thanks actually" i said and typed my number into his iPhone.
"Welcome, see you tomorrow in classes?" With the smirk still on his face he stepped closer to me and hugged me goodbye, what i hadn't seen coming so i first felt a bit distracted but my heart beated faster and as i watched him walk away with his guitar shouldered and his long skinny legs, i couldn't hold back this warm feeling coming up, assuming i might just made a new friend here.
