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"You know, I'm still in awe that you're engaged," I say. Even though she told me the news hours ago, it still feels like just seconds ago.
"I know, right? Who would've thought?" She says, looking back at me from the mirror in the bathroom as she fixes her makeup. We're going out to a club tonight to celebrate the news, and I for one, plan on getting extremely intoxicated. There's a lot of shit that needs to be forgotten and put on hold for the night, and alcohol is the perfect distraction.
"Feels like just yesterday you were gagging over the thought of getting a boyfriend and now you have yourself a fiance," I say coming up behind her and wrapping my arms around her. "Look how far you've come."
I plant a kiss on her cheek and admire her glow and happiness for a moment. It's a nice thing to see someone you love wholeheartedly be so undeniably happy with their life.
She turns around to look at me. "Do you want to talk?" She asks, her face suddenly looking a bit concerned and somewhat serious.
I smile. "About what?"
"I don't know. I'm getting engaged, that's a big step and we've always taken big steps together. It's probably weird to see your best friend get engaged," She says.
"Ron," I roll my eyes. "Don't make this about me. It's not about me, this is about you. I'm so happy for you, c'mon."
"I know you are, I know you are," She says insistently. "But that doesn't mean you don't get to feel a certain way about how something affects your life. Even in my happiest moments, I want you to feel like you can talk to me."
I look away, unsure of whether or not to give in to her. She's right, of course. I obviously have feelings of my own about her engagement, separate from my happiness from her. I mean, I've been dating Connor for over six years and it's still so terrifying for me to think about engagement. Meanwhile, she was with Liam for two years and now she's engaged and couldn't be happier. I sometimes feel like I'll never get past my trust issues and maybe that's what's bugging me.
"I just don't get myself sometimes. I have the most amazing guy right in front of me, more than willing to marry me and prove to me that I'm the only girl for him and in the back of my head, I still can't stop thinking that one day he'll just decide I'm not enough," I confess, remembering how much I trusted Greyson. "And seeing Greyson made me remember how fucking sure I was that he was the guy I was going to marry and now he's engaged to another girl. I just-I don't trust myself anymore. It's hard to when I make all the wrong decisions."
"Aw, baby," She says, running her hand through my hair as we sit down on the bed. "You do not make all the wrong decisions. Choosing Greyson was not the wrong thing to do at the time, you loved him and what happened with him has nothing to do with you."
"And let me tell you, choosing Connor was definitely not the wrong decision. I am your best friend and I will support you no matter what decision you make, but trust me, I am rooting for Connor," She says. "That boy will never break your heart. I can promise you that. He saw you at your lowest and he helped you mend your broken heart and has stayed by your side ever since. He will not leave and if he does, well goddamn, I'll kill the bastard myself."
