Last Christmas

Chapter 7. Clayton

Seeing her yesterday brought back a lot of good memories. I was being stupid that day I broke up with her. There was just so much going on in my personal life, I didn't want to burden her with it. Deep down I know she still cares about me, just as much as I care about her. Even with her looking at me, I see it. The way she used to look at me, I was the only truest love of her life and I was so happy to be.
My life wasn't all that great when it was just me though. My parents house was being foreclosed since they had to take a second mortgage out on their house. And then to make matters worse my mom was sick and she couldn't pay her hospital bills. How was I supposed to have Kassie in my life and when she was so happy and vibrant and beautiful? While my life was going dark, she was the only light. But I had to take matters into my own hands and tell her I had to break up with her. Again, it was stupid of me! Especially on Christmas, I felt like a jerk.
I saw her standing there dressed as an elf and I thought she looked so adorable. She was talking to the kids and having them get onto Santa's lap, she always seemed so kind and gentle. Just watching her made me think of when we were together, she always put other first. Then I remember I wasn't alone that day. My girlfriend was with me with her baby sister. And yes, I know how wrong it is that I had my current girlfriend with me while my ex girlfriend was standing there. This was a mistake to come here.
Thing is everything started getting better because I took two jobs, and I helped my mom pay her bills and my parents did lose the house, but I made sure they had somewhere to go. While I helped them is when I ran into Riley, she was leaving her apartment and was on her way to work. We literally ran into each other and she called me a jerk and all kinds of names and I apologized. She looked up at me and smiled and I smiled back, in a way though it wasn't the same when I first met Kassie.
Everything kind of happened fast, before I knew it Riley and I were dating and I met her family. Tamara and I bonded real quick, she was like my little sister and I felt like I had to protect her. Riley mentioned how we should bring Tamara to see Santa at the mall and I thought it was a good idea, but the moment I walked in and I noticed her standing there , my heart started beating out of my chest.
"What Clay?" I snapped back into reality, there was Kassie standing right in front of me. What did I want? I know there was something I wanted to say?! "How is everything?" I asked. She didn't answer at first, I think she knew I was going to say something else and waited for me to say it... I couldn't though! "I'm fine, now if you excuse me." She tried to move past me, but I am a few feet taller than her and I'm bulky so I kept moving in front of her. "Clay, I don't have time.." that's the thing, I had all the time in the world for her, but I can't tell her that. Riley and I did get into an argument earlier today, I said I was going to the mall to go Christmas shopping and she got mad because she knew I would see Kassie. And I don't blame Riley for getting mad at me, but I really had to see her. I still care for her and I want us to be okay. "I can come back later?" I told her. That wasn't a good idea, but i wanted us to sit and talk. "That's not a good idea." It's like she read my mind. "Kass, I really wanted to talk and just.." she put her hand up to stop me. "Clay, whatever it is..." she paused for a moment. "It can just wait some other time." She finally said. That time I let her walk past me.
Watching her walk away reminded me of the night I was a coward and broke up with her by text. If only she knew! And I know I had to tell her what was going on. We were happy and in love, and I was really considering on proposing to her one day. I wanted us to be married and have kids someday, but that all went out the window.