Alternate Book Reviews

Review #15: Sung Hyun

A sort of disclaimer for intolerant and butt hurt lads.

I recognize the time and effort of the writer and their dedication towards their work. I don't intend to insult or mock their work in any way. I just intend to give an honest review of how I feel and see the book. My review wouldn't be applicable after they've edited their book, so don't be the dumbass who wages a war about my review being stupid. Definitely contains spoilers.

TITLE: Sung Hyun

Author: @AreumNaeil

Title and Cover - {3/10}

The cover is nothing new or attractive, it works but it doesn't catch someone's eye, so to say. The title and the catchphrase on the cover both are neither impactful nor intriguing. It can definitely be improved.

Blurb/Summary - {4/10}

There is a structure to the blurb but it lacks coherency, grammar and doesn't make a strong impact. It does give an air of the conflict simmering in this world but reveals motivations of the characters as well. It almost shapes up as a prologue to the story. It ends rather typically and the evident grammatical errors and poor word choice dissuade me from reading ahead.

Grammar and Vocabulary - {6/10}

The grammar overall fares well, but the sentence phrasing and word choice need improvement. The blurb needs to be edited again for grammatical accuracy. The vocabulary can be improved.

Flow and Pace of the Story - {7/10}

The story can be improved in pace a bit and removal of weird phrases in sentences and poor word choices will help the flow of the story.

Detail/Description - {5.5/10}

The focus of the chapter needs to be adequately managed to provide a description for the scene, setting, the protagonist. As of now, I know more about the guy who she bumped into.

Overall Story - {7/10}

The story has an interesting, however clichéd concept. It does need improvement in introducing concepts, building up characters

Cliffhangers - {5/10}

The cliffhangers need to be placed in a more impactful manner.

Originality - {5.5/10}

The idea/trope has been explored before and in so far, I couldn't find much deviation from a somewhat predictable script.

Character Development - {5.5/10}

I believe the protagonist has a journey ahead in learning about tactical advantage. Coming to the story, I can predict the protagonist's arc.

Overall Score: 48.5/90

Chapter Feedback

Chapter 1

The chapter begins with no description of the setting of this fight. The lack of visual cue in that regard reduces the impact of the chapter. Some sentences are poorly framed and the word choice can be improved. The first chapter ignores the man suffocating Sung as soon as she pays attention to the girl's pleading which makes it feel incomplete. There is a weird emphasis on the looks of the guy trying to murder her, which feels a little abrupt considering the guy was trying to kill her. This only says about the protagonist and her priorities. The entire chapter attempts to explore the conflict in Sung's mind as she debates whether to save the girl or not. But, the choice is rather predictable and the entire monologue doesn't provide much insight into the world. This could have been fruitfully utilized for some exposition into the protagonist's world, instead of generic statements.
The development into the cliffhanger at the end would have a better impact if the blurb didn't give it all away. The blurb, therefore, should have revealed the character's motivations or reasons developing an interest in the story. This scene could also have been showcased as a flashback as she journeys to the king, again creating more impact. The chapter feels somewhat incomplete and lacks impact.

Chapter 2

We start straight away with the protagonist challenging quite a few trained soldiers to combat to free her mother, which definitely showcases she might be the brawn but not the brains in this situation. She outright lets her opponents know where she is and what she wants to do and who they should harm if they want her to surrender. The phrasing in this chapter again requires improvement.

"She couldn't afford to when she had 6 other males in front of her threatening to cut her head off. The man fell to the ground clenching his teeth in an attempt to stop screaming."

This has terrible phrasing and the soldiers have been portrayed in quite a caricature-like manner. In addition to this, the counting is off, she defeated 3 men, and 4 were left, but somehow 1 wasn't counted.

Again, the impact of the ending would have been escalated,had it not been made evident in the blurb, reducing the thrill of the fightscene. The fight scenes were explained in detail, however, I can't verify their accuracy. The setting of the scene still wasn't elaborated.