To my divine Clara,
I hate the fact I have to do this. Write letters to you, the love of my life, because it is my last resort. I know they say when you really love someone then you have to let them go. This is often used if the person your letting go wants to breakup with you, not because of death. But I guess the saying will do.
I'm mad at the world, we were so happy and now it's like the world has turned cold and everything is just darkness. Why is there always a down side to everything? I fell in love with you and finally felt something, but now it is all getting ripped away.
I love you Clara. I know I'm not Shakespeare and my letters aren't filled with fancy words, but they mean something. Because they are written with love not just ink.
The second year I knew you topped the last one if even possible. My chest all year was filled with a warmth because I could finally call you mine.
I remember we had both been flirting back and forth for six months. It was obvious to everyone around us and me and you that we really liked each other. But we decided to just have a little fun with it first since it was driving Tommy and Flora the now happy couple insane.
The day we made it official though was a beautiful spring day. The blossoms were blooming and it was the perfect weather, not to hot and not to cold. You looked truly beautiful as the sunlight hit your perfect face and you smiled happily at little things just because you could. How I miss that smile.
Flashback- spring 2016
"Oh my god! It's the Clara White!" I gasped as she met me outside of her apartment block.
"Oh do be quite, just because I got a promotion does not mean I'm a celebrity." She giggled as she wrapped her arm around mine.
"Yet!" I said dramatically which just made her laugh more.
"So what is on the agenda today? Hiding from the paparazzi or a press tour. Either sounds good." I teased as she hit my arm with her free hand.
"I was thinking more like feeding the ducks, it's the perfect day for it." Clara smiled as she looked up at the sky surveying the perfect whether.
"Whatever you say Miss White." I replied happily as we walked down to the local pond.
Some how Clara had already managed to get a golden tan even though the sun had only just started shining again from its winter nap. She walked with a skip in her step and was the happiest person alive that day, all her emotions always reflected themselves in her smile and today her smile was as full as my love for her.
"Don't you think Tommy and Flora are sweet?" Clara smiled filling the brief silence.
"Well sweet isn't the word I would use. More like legendary because that is Tommy's favourite word." I laughed as the pond came into view.
"I still can't believe you won the bet you wanker." Clara laughed as she nudged me about playfully.
"I told you, Theo is always right!" I replied happily as we sat down by the pond.
"Don't you ever look at them in envy, I am so happy for them but I just wish my life was so full of love." Clara sighed as we tossed bits of bread into the pond.
"I envy them all the time Clara, it's quite embarrassing really. But your life is full of love your just either oblivious to it or haven't looked for it hard enough." I replied as she looked at me curiously.
"How do you mean my life is full of love? Who loves me because I would certainly like to meet them!" Clara giggled as I felt my cheeks heat up.
"Everyone loves you Clara. Your beautiful and kind and funny." I explained as she just shook her head.
"People don't love me for that, they might fancy me but that is certainly not love." Clara muttered as we sat back down on our picnic blanket.
"Flora loves you, Tommy loves you and I love you." I replied sheepishly as my face got even hotter.
"You all love me as friends and I am going to be one of those girls who is always a bridesmaid and never a bride. It will be the bane of my existence and I will die an old maid, so shrivelled up and unloveable." Clara muttered again as she kept her eyes focused on the grass.
"Clara you will die a happy, beautiful women. You will have a husband and children and a perfect job." I reassured as she just huffed.
"And wherever will I find this mystery man?" Clara laughed sarcastically as I just wanted to scream I love you.
"A man who loves you, not as a friend but a soul mate is sitting right beside you. Ever since the night he met you at a Halloween party he has struggled not to get lost in your eyes to long or smile every time you smile." I stammered as she looked up and me and smiled more and more.
"Theo do you love me?" Clara asked as my breathing quickened.
"Isn't that what I just said?" I laughed as she smiled brightly at me.
"I love you too Theo, did you never get my hints?" She laughed as I face palmed.
"There were hints?" I laughed in an embarrassed tone.
"Don't you think Tommy and Flora are sweet? Don't you envy them? Oops, did you not get that?" Flora giggled as I just couldn't contain my joy anymore.
We both kissed happily knowing that this kiss was the start of many and a happy life together.
Back to present/letter
So that was the day I confessed my love to you Clara. It was the day that marked the start of many laughs, many cries, a lot of heartbreak but best of all a lot of love which before you my life was greatly lacking.
Worlds can't keep us apart Clara.
Love Always, Theo
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Love Always, Theo
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