Love Always, Theo

Letter six

To my dreamy Clara,

I'm losing. I'm losing the battle that I so desperately need to win, the battle between life and death.

Everyday gets harder. The repetition of my routine becomes harder and harder to complete. The days when you're not here are agony, like a knife stabbing through my already broken heart.

Why is it, that this is happening to us? The pain and tears shed. We have never done anything wrong except live our lives with naivety. Not thinking that one day we could possibly be separated.

You see criminals, people who have done things that are to disturbing to think about, live long lives not plagued by illness and disaster.

And yet here we are. Fighting a battle that I know we lost a long time a go.

Whilst writing this letter I am looking at the picture, our picture. The beautiful picture taken on our wedding day.

You looked like a Disney princess that day. Your white dress with a dramatic train, your veil that sheltered your face until the vows, the happiness that spread around to everyone every time you took a step down the isle.

But the thing I remember the most about that day, were your eyes. The way they shone and never flickered, like a candle that would never burn out.

This letter is about our day Clara, the day when we vowed in sickness and in health till death do us part.

Flashback - 19th December 2017

"Calm down mate, your starting to stress me out!" Tommy laughed as I redid my bow tie for the seventh time.

"This day has to be the perfect fairytale for Clara." I muttered as I redid it again.

"Theo, this could be the biggest shit show. The cake could be dropped, the rings could be lost, hell she could say another blokes name at the alter..." Tommy rambled not helping me at all.

"And saying all that helps my nerves because?" I asked as Tommy just smirked.

"Because the point is, that she loves you and because of this nothing will ruin your day. It will be perfect and just imagine her face when you say 'I do'." Tommy smiled as a blush crept to my cheeks.

"Really?" I asked sheepishly.

"Off course. And another plus is the bar is free so I plan on getting hammered!" Tommy cheered as I rolled my eyes.

"That's my boy!" My father said proudly when he walked in.

"Thanks Dad." I smirked as he straightened my tie.

"Clara or as your mother calls her 'princess' won't know what it her." My dad chuckled as I tied my shoe laces.

"Well I just wanted to wish you good luck son. I'm not going to get all soppy and say all that shit about you being the light of my life, but I will say that you are going to blow them away. Go get em Theo, and don't fuck up the vows!" My dad said proudly as I smiled at him.

"Thanks Dad, it means a lot." I said dramatically pretending to wipe a tear from the corner of my eye.

We were already at the venue, an old church which was practically a ruin. It was beautiful though.

Fairy lights like the night I proposed were everywhere lighting up the space. And the open ceiling let the moon shine in to share our special day with us.

My Dad gave me one last pat on the back before he want to join my already weeping mother.

As I stood at the top of the isle, adrenaline and nerves shot though me as I waited for my Clara to turn the corner.