Smiles turn to tears
Hugs turn to flinching at touch
The bed turns cold and empty
Looking for them to return
Being scared of others
Being scared of loneliness
It seems like the same thing
Both seem too true
My heart can't choose
Do I want them to go?
Do I want then to stay?
Do I want to go?
Do I want to stay?
What's keeping me here?
Self hatred
Self loathing
Not self love
I forget what it feels like to feel unconditional love
I forget what it feels like to smile
I forget what it feels like to laugh until it hurts
I forget what it feels like to live
I am alive
But I am not living
