How You Get The Girl (Finished)

78

How You Get The Girl

#78

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Peace by Taylor Swift

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D E D I C A T I O N

~~~

To my dearest hun,

Let's start on how our story began.

Well, funny how it started everything between us.

Do you still remember I was that headstrong girl who liked a guy and was very determined to make him my boyfriend? How we two made a deal so that guy would notice me? How many silly stuff that I would do just to get his attention...

Honestly, I'd still laugh every time I remember about it. Even though obviously, I'm just playing a losing game, but it's always like at the end of the race, I'd always see you, in open arms, ready to hug and accept me for who I am. I would never forget those words that you've told that I don't need to change anything, because I was enough.

I don't have to change myself for anyone because to you, I'm already pretty.

I really miss those days. When we were in college, we used to hang out and eat halo-halo, I could still remember how you'd bring your crocs and jacket because I'm never comfortable in wearing heels or sexy dresses. You would always remind me that I'm already beautiful enough even if I'm just in my sweaters and sneakers.

You may never notice it but deep inside, I would always feel giddy and euphoric - and during that time I was sure I was already feeling something else for you.

I was scared actually. The thought of that I was starting to fall for you scared the shit out of me. First of all, I was not sure I was the girl of your type. You were popular, well, I was too but in a different way, I was a council president. Second, even though my friends would give me hint bases on your actions that you like me as well, I can never be so sure.

Not until then our Christmas break, when you gave me a gift (I still have it) that I realized that I'm going to risk it all for you... and in return, you did as well.

You were my first in everything. My first boyfriend. My first kiss. My first love. You were always my biggest supporter in every step of the way. My biggest fan.

Sometimes, I like to ask myself, why I am so lucky to have you? Until now, I still ask that. I am not perfect, I'm far from perfect. I am a very flawed human being who's lucky enough to be loved by a very wonderful man.

I could remember those moments how you would spoil and pamper me every time I get sad about everything. How you would assure me that everything's going to be okay... that I should believe in myself and I deserved all my achievements because I worked hard for it. That whenever I fall, you'll always going to catch me.

Your love for me was endless and unconditional.

My dearest hun, I made a special poem for you and I poured all of my heart in this:

I have never been loved

by someone as much as you do

How your smile and strength radiate

How they would make me feel secured

Protected, supported and inspired

You made my world brighter

Lighter and happier

Your endless love scattering all over

Making me stronger and wiser

Without you, my love

I am nothing

I am crying while I am writing this to you, hun, I cannot forgive myself for wasting such love that you have given me. You were my person. You are always going to be my person. I am sorry for the pain that I caused. I am sorry for my mistakes. I'm sorry that I've changed and became a despicable person. I am sorry that I was no longer that woman that you loved.

My dearest hun, you may never be able to read this but I made this book for you. Everything in this book is about you. I might have never told you this but I appreciate everything that you have done for me. Everything that you did. Every support and love that you wholeheartedly gave me.

I want you to know that I appreciate it even though it's too late already. I will always appreciate what you have done for me until my last breath. I will never love a man as much as I have loved you.

Wherever you are now, I know you are finally happy. My love, thank you for supporting my dreams endlessly. Now, it's your time. I may never be with you anymore but always remember you deserve all the happiness because you're a wonderful man. You deserve all the love in the world.

You deserve the peace.

With love,

Ayana Louise

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Lennox wiped the tears that came out from his eyes after reading it. It was five in the morning and the sun was starting to rise. The air was a little cold but it was tolerable. He drank the coffee he made earlier as he looked at the vast surroundings in front of him. He was currently at the balcony of his house, drinking coffee alone. He closed the book and smiled.

It was a very nice morning.

Finally.

Peace.