Roses | woosan

Twenty-Three

"No, don't say that." San pulls Wooyoung in for a hug as he cries, and rubs his back. "Didn't you say she was already sick?"

"Y-yeah, but the allergic reaction was what killed her. I did it, San! It's my fault!"

"Woo, don't say that. You didn't know about her allergies. Don't blame yourself for that. I still remember when you'd talk about her back then. I remember how much you loved and cared about her. Your only intention was to make her happy. Please stop blaming yourself."

"No matter how hard I try... I can't do it." He pulls away from the hug and looks down. "Whenever I see Hongjoong and Seonghwa, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I took our grandma away from them. I feel really guilty... especially towards Seonghwa." He sighs. "He was so close to my grandma, but because of his mother, he wasn't able to see her as much. He'd end up running away from home just to go visit her."

"Because of his mother?"

"Yeah... his father was my grandma's son, but he passed away when Seonghwa was little. And his mother never cared about her husbands family, so she wouldn't let Seonghwa visit our grandma."

"So is that why you let them bully you?" San asks, worriedly. "Even though you can defend yourself, you let them bully you because of this?" He asks and Wooyoung just nods.

San frowns and pulls him in for another hug. At this point, it looks like Wooyoung just needs someone to listen to him and give him a hug. So he just hugs him and stays quiet as Wooyoung continues talking.

-

"Why should we stop bothering him?" Hongjoong asks Seonghwa and crosses his arms over his chest. "It was his fault."

"Don't you think we've been too harsh? He has it bad enough. He keeps blaming himself and us blaming him is only making it worse."

"No, Seonghwa. Your mom is right. It was all his fault and he deserves to know it was. Are you really just going to stop bothering him because your little boyfriend asked you to?"

"Not you too." Seonghwa rolls his eyes. "First of all, he's not my boyfriend. Second of all, I had already thought about stopping this before he asked me to. It's been a while since I've bothered Wooyoung. I had already planned to stop."

"Shouldn't you be the one angrier at him? You were really close to our grandma and he killed her!"

Seonghwa looks down and tries to hold back his tears. "You're the one that should least be talking, Hongjoong." He looks up at him. "You never cared about our grandma, so why are you so mad now? You never asked your mom to let you go and visit her. Your mom is nice so she would've actually given you permission."

"I was just a little kid. You can't possibly blame me for-"

"You were a teenager already. Or what? You're going to tell me Wooyoung knew better than you? He was only twelve and would always try to make our grandma happy. He gave her roses because she liked them. How was he supposed to know she was allergic to them?" He wipes his tears away. "Wow, I can't believe I've been so blind and manipulated by my mother... and you're being manipulated too."

"What are you talking about? How is that manipulating? She's right. It was his fault." He shrugs.

"Hongjoong, open your damn eyes. Wooyoung cared a lot about her." He sighs since it clearly looks like Hongjoong thinks differently. "I'll talk to you later." He turns around and starts walking away.

It's not that Seonghwa ever really blamed Wooyoung for his grandma's death. The reason he bothered him was because he was so angry at him for leaving him behind five years ago.

His grandma's death and also having the person he was closest to, move away, made Seonghwa very angry at him.

Seonghwa's mom wouldn't let him go to the funeral, so he had to run away from home just to say goodbye to his grandma one last time. Hongjoong didn't go to the funeral so Seonghwa went alone with a few other people he didn't know. Wooyoung didn't go either since he and his mother immediately moved away after his grandmother's death.

Seonghwa shakes his head and wipes his tears away as he tries to forget about those sad memories. He hates thinking about it. He misses his grandmother, he misses his father, and he misses Wooyoung.

"Why did things have to be like this?" He breaks down into tears. "Why?"

-

"Hey, Woo." San smiles at Wooyoung when he sees him at school.

"Oh, hey." He smiles back at him and waves.

As they're talking, Seonghwa walks past them and Wooyoung's smile fades. He knows Seonghwa hates him, but he somehow expected him to at least say hi to him. He hopes someday they'll be able to be friends again.

Wooyoung takes a textbook out of his backpack to put it in his locker, but just as he does that, something falls on the floor. San quickly picks it up and sees it's a rose pendant necklace.

"Hey guys!" Yeosang wraps an arm over San's shoulder. "Ooo, that's pretty." He looks at the necklace. "Is that Wooyoung's?"

"Yeah..." Wooyoung takes it from San's hands.

"It's really pretty. Was it a gift from someone?" San asks him.

"Yeah, it was... but I'm not sure who it was from."

"What do you mean?" He asks him and Yeosang stares at the necklace. It looks a little too familiar.

"Well, when I moved overseas, I got it sent to me with a note that said, 'It's not your fault. Promise me you won't let anyone tell you otherwise.'" Wooyoung smiles, remembering when he got the necklace in the mail. "That made me feel better and I still have that note. I'd reread it over and over again, knowing there was someone out there who didn't blame me."

"Who didn't blame you for what?" Yeosang asks, confused. He has seen a necklace like that one before, but he decides not to say anything.

"Yeosang, it's really personal and-" San starts but Wooyoung cuts him off.

"That's okay, San. We're all friends now, which means he'll find out soon anyway." Wooyoung gives him a small smile. "Around five years ago, I used to give my grandma roses. I gave them to her since they were her favorites... but it turned out she was really allergic to them, so she passed away." He looks down. "I've blamed myself a lot for that since then."

"I'm so sorry for that." Yeosang frowns. "But since it's been five years, have you thought about going to a therapist?"

"I have gone in the past, but I guess it didn't really work."

"Well, my mom's a therapist... and her clients all have great reviews. Why don't you try making an appointment with her?" San asks him.

"She must be really busy."

"She's never too busy to help her clients." San smiles at him. "Would you like to make an appointment?"

Wooyoung thinks about it for a while, but finally agrees. "Okay." He nods and smiles.

"Well, I'll talk to you guys later. I'll go find Yunho and Jongho." Yeosang tells them and walks away from them.

But in reality, he's on his way to the person who clearly sent the necklace to Wooyoung.

Who do you think sent the necklace to Wooyoung?