Times where I am alone, I do not know if I am lost or if I am just simply letting time pass by. The days go by faster and faster, as if the sun rises before it can shine over me, it sets again. I am accompanied more by the night than the day. I am accompanied more by my mind, rather than having your presence stay with me. I've been fighting with you as if I fight with myself, but I don't know what is worse, fighting you or fighting me.
I don't know if I love you because you were simply there and persisted, or because I was so lonely with myself that you sounded me with that much promise. Now I have got this far, and I am sitting tonight without a word from you, and without a word from me to you as well. This is what it has come to. Will I be able to pull through and have you come back first? I don't know, you will simply say that you come back first all the time and if I wanted to then I should. However, concerning myself and my being, I should not. I should not because nothing will change and you will just have it in your power. I can not say that I don't miss you, I can not say that I don't want you. I simply don't need you but the lack of will I have to keep you away is what I am scared of powering over me and dragging me back to you.
You insulted me, degraded me, you are unhappy with me, you look at me with dissatisfaction, you refuse to be accompanied by my presence, and I must come to you first? No. I know that it has only been a day without you, my heart begs for you. I do not think you feel the same about me. It will take you time to miss me, I know you will miss me. Yet, I am so afraid that by the time that you do, I will no longer miss you.
I love you now and I wish that you could make me love you forever, but you have only made me want to love myself more. You make me want to be away from your love because you have no longer been able to give me any, and the warmth that I had from you has perished. There is no warmth, there is just obligation, pity. I fucking hate pity.
YOU ARE READING
Unfinished Excerpts
Short StoryGathering of emotions, thoughts, feelings that anyone and everyone can relate too. Enjoy. All works are mine are credited by me. All works are original.
