hold me

chapter four - Louis

Perfect.

I had never believed in perfect.

no one could be perfect. it was impossible. a person could not be perfect.

but harry, harry was perfect. to me.

***

I watched him order his pizza. His reddish lips spreading into a smile. When he smiled he got the cutest dimples and little lines on the sides of his eyes. And when his hair blinded him he elegantly swept it to the side with only one move. God I loved his hair. It was so curly and messy and adorable. I loved to touch it. I remembered it as being silky and soft and smelling like his lavender shampoo. I wondered if he still used the same one.

I caught myself staring and quickly looked away, but I could feel the blood rushing through my body when he stared back.

"So how long are you staying in London?" he started with the conversation.

"I don't really know yet. I'm working on a few songs, so I don't have the need to travel"

Harry grinned and asked "So would you want to sing me one?"

I wanted to scream "NO". 'Till now all of the songs have been about Harry and it was pretty obvious. There was no way I would show them to him.

I just shook my head.

"Sorry lad, it's just, they aren't even finished and most of them are bad anyways," I lied.

"I don't mind. Please, I really want to hear them. Besides it's not like we have something better to do" he practically begged.

I wanted to argue with him but I knew I had no chance, so I let out a loud sigh.

"Fine" I mouthed.

***

Later both of us laughingly stumbled into my house. Our shoes making loud noises with every step we took. My house was cold, dark and empty but that didn't bother me. Harry was here and I finally felt really happy.

With a wide grin planted on his face. Harry asked "So the songs? Don't you even think that I forgot!"

A slight feeling of panic ran through my body but I ignored it. Harry had heard me sing a million times and besides, I could just say that the song was about a girl.

"'Cmon now, I don't have all night!" he said, while stroking through his short but curly hair.

"Okay, okay, follow me!" I chuckled in defeat.

We entered the master bedroom. My room was simple but I liked it a lot. The white walls complimented the green of my plants and a huge flat screen TV was standing in front of my bed. The king-sized bed with about a million pillows gave the entire room a finishing touch. I also had a wooden desk standing in front of my huge window.

I pointed at the desk, "That's where I write almost all my songs. Including the one I'm going to sing to you now"

Harry plopped onto my bed and looked at me in awe.

So I started to sing, at first quietly but when I saw Harry smiling and bopping his head to the song I got more confident.

"I always said that I'd mess up eventually
I told you that, so what did you expect from me?
It shouldn't come as no surprise anymore
I know you said that you'd give me another chance
But you and I knew the truth of it in advance
That mentally you were already out the door
Never thought that giving up would be so hard
God, I'm missing you and your addictive heart
You're the habit that I can't break
You're the feeling I can't put down
You're the shiver that I can't shake
You're the habit that I can't break
You're the high that I need right now
You're the habit that I can't break"

When I was done singing Harry clapped, he clapped so loud that it echoed in the hallways and even Clifford came to join us.

"Louis that was beautiful, I love it!" Harry cooed. "So who is the song about?"

Oh no, this was the question I had dreaded. "Uhm it's about love?" I slowly answered. About love, wow that the worst answer ever.

"Well you must really love that person then." he smiled.

I did. I really did.

I didn't say anything. I just looked at Harry. He was sitting on my bed with his legs crossed and his curly hair covering his beautiful face. All I could see under the mass of hair, was his piercing green eyes and his wide smile.

Suddenly he said with a freakishly deep voice, "What are you staring at good sir?" 

"I'm not staring, just...thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" I almost whispered, and as I felt the blood rush to my face I heard a quiet

"I would love to"

When I heard him say those meaningless words I felt a warm glow around my heart. I wanted this moment to last forever.

***

After spending the early evening by playing board games and eating a bowl of chips we agreed to have a movie night. Classic but who doesn't like binging movies 'till you fall asleep?

"You get the snacks and I'll choose a movie!"

"Okay, what do you want?" I shrugged when I heard him say "Twix and pretzels, oh and a glass of water please"

I then slowly walked out of my bedroom and quietly tapped into the kitchen. My body shivering with each step I took. Everything was quiet. The only thing I could hear was Harry silently swiping through the different movies we could watch.

I got a glass and let cold water slowly pour into it. Little water droplets landing on my hand. When the glass was full, I looked through my junk food stash on my top drawer. "Success" I whispered when I saw a few Twix and the bag of pretzels. I returned to my warm bedroom and had to laugh when Harry shouted

"Louis!!"

His cheeks were glowing red and his eyes looked like emeralds in the light. He looked so beautiful and pure. I wanted to scream of joy but all I could do was grin.

Harry jumped up and slowly walked towards me. He raised his hand an placed it on my cheek. His fingers left a warm trail on the side of my face. I couldn't move or say anything.

"You have the most beautiful smile," he whispered.

beautiful. beautiful. beautiful.

those words went through my head over and over again. I was beautiful. I didn't say anything. I just took his hand and quietly said

"so what movie did you pick?"