hold me

chapter seven - Harry

I always seemed to believe in love. I believed in soulmates. That one day Louis and I could come out and be together forever but that last piece of hope crumbled that day.

***

As soon as I was home I called Louis but no answer. I went on Instagram just to see that he had blocked me. 

I felt like dying. 

Right there on my bedroom floor. Just crumble slowly until there was nothing left of me.

I locked myself in the bathroom and fell to the floor. Waiting for Louis to call me and tell me everything was okay but he never did. 

I burst out in tears. Quivering and shacking I held my hand in front of my mouth in fear that someone could hear me. Which was stupid since I was alone. I cried until my throat hurt and my lungs couldn't take it anymore.

When I stood up and looked into the mirror I saw a different version of myself. 

My eyes were bloodshot, red and puffy. There were lines of dried up tears on my cheek and when I looked deep into my eyes I could see my broken heart. 

Quickly I cleaned myself up and wandered to my bedroom.

Sniffling I laid down and turned on the TV. Some random show was playing, but anything to distract me.

I skipped a few channels until I found some comedy and fell asleep to the sound of laughter.

***

This morning I woke up at around 1:30pm and laid in bed for an additional hour. 

I couldn't find the motivation to brush my teeth or even step out of bed. I just wanted to sleep forever. Suddenly I got a text.

LOUIS!!! ,

was the first thing that popped up in my mind. I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and checked the display. I felt a sting of disappointment in my chest. 

It was only Mitch.

„Hey lad, want to meet up?" he had texted.

None the less, I brought myself to answer.

„Sorry, feeling a little sick -H"

I wasn't really sick. Just love sick, which was, in a way, even worse. I would've rather had the flu than having to go through the constant sharp pain in my chest.

***

9pm I was still laying in my bed, crying. The tears gushing down my face leaving a burning trail on my cheeks. The only thing I wanted was him. I wanted to cry until I had him back.

My tummy was grumbling since I hadn't eaten anything all day but I couldn't have cared less. To distract myself from the hunger I let my mind wander. 

I thought about the year 2013. 

To be exact the 28th of September 2013. The day Louis and I promised to love each other forever. 

It was like a marriage but different. We wanted to get married in the open, when we were open. I could remember the wide smile on his face when I entered the room. Next to him was Zayn, his best man.

He was wearing a black tux with a beautiful carnation, my favourite flower. It's colour matched perfectly with my flowy dress. Louis made me wear one.