I was in our practice room, sitting on the floor, facing the mirror and looking eye to eye with my reflection. Did you ever had that kind of feeling where you just feel down without any reason at all? Ell that's how I currently feel.
I sigh as I continue to stare at my reflection. I want to dance, I want to practice our new song, but my body won't listen. Still sitting on the floor, totally zoned out. I didn't even notice Sooyoung had walked in tothe room and took seat next to me. She just stares at me for what seems like minutes as she finally speak.
"You seem to be in deep thought." Sooyoung said startling me a little. Of course she notice, she notice everything. She look at me through the mirror as if reading me. I just sigh and shrug a little with a little head shake.
"No, I'm not. I was just... adoring myself..." I said in an attempt to deny as I look at her with a trying-hard-to-be-innocent-big eyes. She just smirk at me a little, shaking her head as she scoots closer.
"Taengoo can't lie to me. Actually, no one can lie to me." Sooyoung said pointing to my reflection as she sigh a little. She broke our gaze through the mirror as she look at the original copy. "What's wrong?" She ask with more sincere voice. Oh no, I'm making her worry.
"I told you it's nothing. There's nothing you should worry about. I just.. I'm just tired." I said trying to reassure her. I am, I am really tired. Tired of everything. I just wanna go home to my mom's, throw myself on my bed and smell my old room, close my eyes and forget the world. Oh, how I wish it's all easy like that. I hate adding burden to people, especially to those who cares for me. It's my problem, I should not let them worry about my problem. That's a real reason why I'm most afraid to open up to my members. I sigh as I look down to my hands before looking back up to the mirror to meet my own eyes. Those vulnerable and fragile look. I've never seen that eyes from my own.
"Tired. That's a common word a typical problematic girl would say." Sooyoung is just too smart. Really? I can't possibly tell her. What is she gonna think of me after? Of course she'd look at me differently. I don't want that. I can't afford that.
"Look smart ass, Why ask if you won't believe me anyways?" I said raising both of my eyebrows and playfully push her. Right now? I feel like standing up from the ground, get my stuff and run off to my own house and cry.
"Because I know you're not telling me the truth." Sooyoung said as she playfully push me back as her revenge.
"I'm just tired. Okay? I'm tired, and I'm going to the car and go home." I said as I stand up. I don't mean to sound harsh or rude, I'm just... I don't know. I feel... wronged.. alone, even though I know I'm not, and the members are trying they're best to make me smile, I just..
"Okay. Obviously you're really carrying a big heavy burden to yourself, why don't you give me the half kilo of that burden and let's carry it together? That's what friends are for, no. That's what family is right?" Sooyoung said raising her voice a little and standing up aswell. I know Sooyoung was just worried and was only looking after me, but I'm scared. That's why I can't tell her. And I guess, she must've sensed it.
"Fine. I guess you're not ready to open up about this now. But if you feel like exploding? Just go run to me, okay? I'll have my arms open for you." Sooyoung said as she open her arms. I look up at the tall girl in front of me as I sigh. Looking down and walking forward, accepting the embrace. Why the hell did I even had this feeling? Why in the world does it have to be her?
