The morning came, but I don't feel like getting up. My throat's dry and sore, and my eyes swollen and tired. Another day of dealing with myself, another day of pretending, another day. Taeyeon, you're a strong woman, but why is this bothering you so much right now? Why is it making you feel weak and fragile? Why are you being so scared and all? Is it because she might end up not feeling the same way? That's the main problem, why does it have to her, out of all people. Why does it have to be a HER?!
"Goodmorning Taengoo, up up. Let's go eat breakfast now." So ironic. I was just thinking about her just now, and now, she's here waking me up. I slowly open my eyes and stretch my body. Gosh, I feel like an old lady who just got home from a whole day chores. Cracking sounds here and there. Ugh! I sit up and rub my eyes, not daring to look at her. Right, I mean, that can be a solution! I don't have to tell her, I'll just pretend she doesn't exist for a while until my feelings disappear. Goodness, Taeyeon-ah. You're Girls' Generation's fridging leader! But, somehow, I need to get rid of this feeling. It's not healthy and it's not right. I get up and not even bothering to greet her back. I climb off of my bed and to the bathroom and wash my mouth and face. Just bear it for a while, it's gonna pass. Please understand me right now Sica. You must be really worried by now, you must be curious. But I need this. But I guess you really don't understand a thing. Before I walk out of the bathroom, she's there, blocking my way, staring into my eyes intently.
"What the hell." She spoke calmly.
"What the fuck!" She added as her voice starts to go higher. She noticed. I mean who wouldn't? Last night, I almost confessed to her and then started yelling to the members. I'm being so selfish right now.
"What?" I just said as if nothing's wrong when obviously, everything is wrong right now. I atleast need to pretend. I have to act even though it's not my cup of tea.
"Look, I don't know what the fuck is your problem Taeyeon, but please! If you do have any problem, don't put this to any member and stop acting like that!" She said with all seriousness. They are right, no matter what the problem is with her, when she's like this, she's indeed scary.
"What are you even sayi--" I cut off what I'm saying as she just look at me with those icy glare. I just sigh and run my fingers through my hair. She just continue to look at me for more seconds but it felt like a millennium as she turns her back finally and grab the door knob.
"Pull your act together Taeyeon." She said in a very serious and scary manner as she twist the doorknob to open. That figures, I can't do that act. I can't pretend that she doesn't exist. She'd stand out even if you put her in the crowded mall, she'll always stand out to me. I take a deep breath as I move and step forward quickly. Swinging my arms around her waist and resting my head behind her back. I hear her lightly gasp from the contact, she must been startled.
"I'm sorry..." Is what I can only say as I burst into tears. Sobbing harshly as I don't know how to stop these tears. My heart pounding like crazy as I felt like suffocating right now. I just wanna escape right now. I don't know what to do. She turn around from the embrace without pulling away and cup my face and look at me straight in the eyes. She looks so worried. She pull my body towards her more as she hug me back. Yes, this is the feeling. I wanna live in this feeling. Just too bad anytime soon this will be taken away from me again.
"Shhh, it's alright. No matter what your problem is right now, we'll help you. I'll help you. I'll be here for you. We will. We're Soshi's remember? Jigeum, appeurodo, youngwonhee? We're a family. You're not alone." She said to my ear as she hugs me tighter. I felt like we're the only people right now. It felt like nothing in the world matters at that moment. But ofcourse, it had to be ruined by the retard members. Yoona and Sooyoung who came laughing they're ass off and opening the door and catching us at the scene. Of course, both of them shut up and just look at us.
