The 3G Life

September 20 Thursday 2018

Mock exams have already started and still continuing. I am a bit stressed because I have been awake up to 2am for the last few nights and have to finish my studies. Half my hairs have fallen due to the stress I am taking. But I have no worries, they will again grow back, will not they?

"I think you are being too hard on yourself," comments Rihana.

"Well, its o levels, I should be even harder," I reply.

"No, I don't mean your studies. I mean your life."

"I have no time for LIFE now."

"But that is more important for your existence."

That is Rihana. Always concerned about my mere existence. And at some point she is actually right. I am thinking about what happened between me and Aadil almost all the while. I know it is no use because what happened has already happened and it is in my fate.

I again divert my mind from all these thoughts and return revising. I have to outshine my exams and nothing should compromise that. My goal is a bit blurred with Aadil and thankfully I can see it clearly right now. I have to get back to being the old sterile me.

Exam gets finished for that day and I walk out of the school gate. I am half-hoping to see Aadil but know it is pointless. I stand in front of 3G for a while all the time looking at my watch. I know his chemistry class will be over soon and he will come out.

But to my disappointment he never comes out. Maybe he does not come to class today. Instead of waiting anymore I start walking. That is when I hear Saeed call me. He crosses the street hurriedly and comes to my side. I say hi and we both start walking towards home.

"Zara came to give exams today?" asks Saeed as usual.

"Yeah she came, don't worry she is alive," I reply with humor.

"And how are you? Are you alive?"

"I guess my body is, can't say the same about my mind."

"Still thinking about Aadil? You should move on."

That is what everyone is repeatedly telling me. Is it that easy to move on or is it just another set of consolation words? I will never be able to move on when I am going to 3G. The mere staircase and the red bricks remind me of him. I have to forget part of me to forget him.

"Hadi is not the only reason Aadil could not accept you," says Saeed.

"The other reason is I am too old-fashioned," I reply.

"No, Aadil has a dark side that you could not handle."

"Every person has a dark side. I have too."

"But his dark side is nothing compared to us."

I cannot understand what Saeed is indicating to. Saeed and Aadil are pretty good friends, so what Saeed is saying may be true. But somehow I do not have the courage to ask him what it is. I am already damaged too much. I need to heal before I can take anymore.

I am so absorbed in my thoughts that I do not realize a car will have soon bumped onto me. Saeed quickly holds my shoulder and draws me back. My breathing stops as I realize what is suddenly going to happen. Saeed sees that I am shocked and does not say anymore.

On the way back Saeed never leaves my side. He is not thinking that I am thinking of suicide, is he? I am going to kill Aadil but I will never kill myself. Life is much bigger than that and I am sure to find someone I can be with. I need to give myself several chances.

Saeed is regarding me with concern. Oh my! This guy is actually concerned about me. Why? Because I am Zara's best friend or because I am his friend too? I really do not know. All his concern will be questioned forever because it is because of Zara that we ever meet.

I have violated a big law when I meet Saeed. I have met him voluntarily and it is not fate that makes us meet. And all the people I have met voluntarily till now have left me hurting me too bad. Maybe I should not be this close to Saeed. I need him around for a really long time.

I come to my home but do not have the heart to go in just now. I propose to walk Saeed up to the main road. He understands and we start walking. We talk some more about Zara. It looks like Saeed still has a lot to know about her. He will be killed when Zara will leave him.

"You know a lot about Zara, don't you?" asks Saeed.

"I know things about her that I can't tell you," I reply.

"Well, at least give me a hint."

"Zara is my friend and I am a loyal person."

"But I am your friend too right?"

We arrive at the main road and now I have to get back home. Too bad I have to remain alone for another weekend. Saeed extends his hand towards me and I just take a second to decide. I put my hand in his and he gives a firm shake to it. He actually has a firm grip, Pathan blood after all.

That is the moment I realize we have becomefriends. Zara may have started it but she will not be the reason for us to endit. We have come to a stage which is much above any other third person. 3G hasits own strange ways to return things. And maybe a friendship is thecompensation of the lost love.