|| ✨BTS AMBW Imagines✨ ||

Min Yoongi X Black Reader

I never doubted how much music really meant to Yoongi, I never get tired of seeing the fire that shows in his eyes when he makes it. But I would be lying if I said seeing the effects his work is having on him didn't get to me. How different everything has been feeling. 

I slowly awaken from another terrible round of sleep, my arm instinctively started to reach out to my left to feel nothing but cold sheets. I sit further up to see the clock reading four a.m across it, meaning he hasn't been in here since eight p.m yesterday...that's how long he's been in the studio. Sweat continues to run down my back as I put my head in my hands; my nightmares being the main cause. I can blame the things I went through a time ago for these. But they stop becoming so frequent when I met him.  When I started falling asleep in his arms. I didn't this time. A sound of collected beats catches my ears as I bawl my hands into fists. I quickly get up as I make my way towards the studio room. Standing in front of the door I take a deep breath as I open it. Thinking he would be in his chair, I observe him frantically pacing back and forth instead. 

" Yoongi. " I say in a slowed way, tiredness still lacing my voice after the troubled sleep I just had. He continues pacing before running a hand through his already ruffled hair. I give myself a minute to look at him. Mumbling to himself  I witness him shadow casting that of a man who never sleeps. Tears well up in my eyes before I can stop them. I hate seeing him so stressed out like this. I miss waking up next to him at night, I miss the not so frequent sleepless nights because of him being there, I miss when he looked happy and not like he was losing his mind.

" Yoongi!" I say loudly to get his attention.

Immediately stopping he looks up at me. 

" Y/N ?" He asks as confusion grows on his face. He then walks up to me before grabbing both of my arms.

" How long were you standing there? Why aren't you sleep? " 

The questions and the red that covers his eyes cause me to slightly shake. I quickly grab his hand as I start towards the door. 

" We're going to bed, let's go," I say as I feel him starting to pull back from me.

" Y/N I want to fin-" 

" And I want to go to sleep next to my husband!" I say out as I quickly turn around to him, dropping his hands in the process as I feel my breathing quickening. 

He laughs before shaking his head back and forth. I scoff before looking at him in disbelief. I slowly start to feel even more of the weight that has grown bigger between us. He really believes that working like this nonstop is okay. 

" Yoon-"

" You go back first, I have more work I have to finish." He answers me lowly as he turns to walk back to his desk. The longer I stare at his back, the more the pain in my chest tightens. I feel like I have been seeing his back more than the smiles that only he can give recently.

"I hate it," I say as my hands and voice start to tremble. He clenches his hands on his sides before looking up at the ceiling. 

"I hate it!" I walk towards his desk where all of the papers with lyrics on them are.

"What are you doing-"

Before he can finish I whip my hands across the desk until the papers land on the floor. 

" Y/N stop!"

" You first!"  I scream as I begin to full-on sob. I thought I could hold out and control what I am feeling, but  I love him too much, I need him to know how much it is hurting me to see him doing this to himself.  

'' I'm tired Yoongi, I'm tired of feeling like I'm losing my husband. " He raises his hands as he slowly reaches out to me.

'" No!" I say as I back away from him. I dare to look up at him, a shocked look on his face. I never back away from him, but this time I need him to know something is wrong. Straightening my shoulders I ready myself to speak again. 

"Where are you? Why do I have to beg you to rest?  Where's my husband-" 

"I'm right here Y/N!" He suddenly screams out, causing me to jump.

" I'm tired, it's all getting to me. I love what I do, but these deadlines are killing me, I'm just tired," He puts his face in his hands before falling back onto the couch behind him. I slowly follow suit. As I continue to look at him, more tears fall from my eyes, he looks completely worn out. My anger disappears in the air as silence falls over us. I reach out to touch him until I stop midair, suddenly afraid to. Has it gotten that bad? To the point where I don't even have the confidence to comfort him? As I secretly ask myself these questions, I feel his stare on me. 

" Y/N,"  He softly mumbles. I feel my heart pick up at his voice in this tone. It's been so long since he has said it like that.

"Look at me," He whispers as I feel him scoot closer to me. Just the closeness of him has me falling apart from the inside. I have most definitely missed him completely, in more ways than just one. When I  don't do as he says, he takes it upon himself to turn my face to him before holding it between his hands.

" I heard everything you have asked me and mentioned so far  while being in this room, I haven't been a good husband to you Y/N,  I'm so sorry." He says to me and only me. His stare confirming. That's when I break. He pulls me into his chest until my ear comes to be placed in front of his heart. 

" I miss being in your arms like this Yoongi,"  I whimper as I hug him tighter. " you have to remember to take care of yourself, I know what this all means to you."  I  pull apart just enough to look up at him. 

" But you have to make sure you can keep doing it for a long time."  I finish as I brush a strand of hair from in front of his face. He nods slowly as his lips begin trembling.

" Your nightmares, have you still been having them? Did you have one this time again?" He asks warily, most likely knowing the answer. 

" Yes-"

He curses under his breath before getting up and putting his hands in his hair again.

" I'm screwing up," He says slowly with sadness lacing his voice. I get up until I'm standing in front of him. 

" You are not perfect Yoongi, I'm sorry for barging in here the way I did. I woke up and you weren't there, meaning you had been up since yesterday. I couldn't take it anymore." He wraps his hands around my neck before pulling me slowly to him.

" I missed you for a long time in many ways, please promise me you will think more about your health," I say in an undertone, the atmosphere shifting the longer I stare up at him. The glow in his eyes showing something else now entirely. 

" I promise, just stay close to me Y/N. Keep me in line yeah?"  He pulls me until our lips crash. After a minute I pull back to breathe. He wraps both of his arms around my waist before pulling me up against his body. 

" I need you closer to me right now Y/N,  I want to apologize to you the right way. Don't pull away from me. I want to make it right."  I place my arms around his neck before kissing him again with an eagerness that only belongs to him, all of the worries I had before drifting into thin air the longer I feel his lips on mines.