What's more painful? When a person whom you trusted, hurts you? or the person whom you hurt, still trusts you?
I thought I just fell in love with the right person at the wrong time and that's fine for it is part of the process everyone said. So I trusted him. He made me fall for his words as accepting as it may seem; because that's what he made me feel, loved and appreciated. That's what he made me believe. That love is glitters and sparkles, butterflies and bliss. As a hopeless romantic, I continue to love without knowing what's in store for me. Even if I don't know the consequences of it all. Because all I knew is that, when you love, you just love. Regardless of how painful love can be, you won't feel any bit of torture and agony, instead an overflowing happiness.
I chose to love despite how uncertain I am if it is right. And now came the repercussion I never knew could happen, I'm hurting because of that one decision of mine. One decision that changes my perspective of what love really is. Yet I can't blame him for what he did to me, because I wanted it. I am the one to blame.
As much as I wanted us to last, I didn't bother to keep him. In lieu, I set him free just like how he let me go. And I guess this is the way karma wanted me to suffer from all the stupidity I did for the past years. Because at that very moment, I didn't feel anything anymore. I couldn't grasp everything because all I wanted from that moment is for the rain to stop from falling along with my tears as I ran towards the forest like I always do.
With all of that heartache I've been through, there is someone that didn't leave me. And that person is the only person who loved me for who I am and cared for me through my darkest. But all I did is to hurt him and reject him, over and over again.
I thought no one will ever understand me but he's always there by my side and never left me even at my worst.
In the end, he made me realize that pain is indeed temporary. That one day you'll meet someone who doesn't care about your past because they want to play part in your present and ensure their place in your future.
And surprisingly, fate made its way between us, again. With all the processes of healing I've been through, you were there. But that didn't matter because all I wanted is for him to love me again.
For her it was and will always be him. Yet for him, it was never her.
This is my story.
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