Keeping Your Promise

Leverage Over Your Life

Summary: It is time to face what you've successfully avoided for quite some time: Starkiller Base and all of its misery awaits.

Time ticked on and burned through your lungs, still strapped into the Command Shuttle ten minutes after it had landed on Starkiller Base. The dreaded moment had arrived – the inevitability of facing Robbie was waiting for you beyond the threshold of the ship – and you were evading its excruciating awkwardness, feeling safer in the confines of the ship than in the wide-open Elite docking bay.

The ship's engines were still settling, providing background noise to your internal impasse. It was a wonder your nails were still in place after picking at your cuticles the whole trip back, sitting silently in a back corner where the shadows shielded you that much more. In the hours before departing from the Finalizer, you had created a mental image of the Starkiller docking Bay, noting how far it was from the ramp to the elevator lobby, inwardly approximating how fast your pace could be without looking completely ridiculous. It couldn't possibly be as bad as you were making it out to be, but knowing you'd have to face him no matter what – no matter if he'd been demoted – unleashed havoc on your nerves, frayed them at the mere thought of bumping into him beyond the hatch.

"I told you he was demoted," Kylo said, voice agitated within the helmet, his back to you as he studied the flight stats before him.

In the crisis-state of your mind, you'd forgotten you weren't alone, and you hadn't been for some time; the flight from the Finalizer carried multiple passengers, among them being General Hux. He'd left right when the ramp descended, but before had sat next to your master, occasionally making a sweep around the ship, sneering every time he passed your secluded hideaway. Not that Hux's presence on board had granted you solace, but so long as he was there, you didn't have to confront the gnawing confusion Kylo Ren had bestowed upon you the night before.

This was something you had made a conscious effort towards not thinking about, knowing full well that Kylo Ren, especially when he was only feet from you, knew exactly when you were thinking of him. Though, these weren't the usual free-floating lascivious thoughts he was accustomed to calling you out on; these were edged with a bewilderment you had only first experienced when awaking earlier.

This morning, before you even had a chance to process the anxieties today's return entailed, you were first confronted with the reality of the night before; fractured remnants of its events, fleeting remembrances flashing through your thoughts in an incohesive disarray while your groggy brain worked to piece it together. In the dim light of your room, the thoughts begged the question of reality, leaving you to wonder if they had been conjured up in a dream before you woke. With a strike of goosebumps and a gasp of breath, though, it quickly became apparent that it had all been real; the fragmented cognizance glittered over your skin, collating back to chronology while the morning fog lifted from your eyes and adrenaline replaced your blood.

The night had come back to you with a fortified vividness that shocked you out of bed, the frozen concrete further pulling you into alertness. The morning was haunted with the vulnerability shared the night before, a ghost without the stars to anchor it down. The stars. Kylo Ren's pupils – so close and raw – had been streaked with them, falling in the endless night of space as he confided in you. He hadn't wanted to, the reluctancy edging his admission – I trust you – trickled through your revelations, echoing as his proximity spread warmth over your cheeks, the memory of his breath nearly tangible as it floated in and out of thought.

Another shatter of electricity spread over your scalp, prickling even the helices of your ears as his next words rang through with a startling clarity: you deserve to be here. They'd bounced around your brain, amplified with each repetition, an endless loop testing their tangible existence. But they did exist, and they were spoken, and Kylo Ren was who had spoken them.