WARNINGS: None
Back at it with another youtube au but this time it's Kenma!
The video opens without an intro, true to the usual style of this channel, and reveals three men in a rather nice kitchen, standing at the island. The one on the right is tall with spiky black hair and a shit eating grin, on the left is an even taller blond with glasses who looks apathetic, and in the middle is the shortest with two-toned hair, looking even more apathetic if that was possible.
The one resembling pudding, the owner of the channel, spoke first; his voice was monotone but rather than being boring it was rather soothing. "Hey guys, it's Kodzuken here and this week we're going to be making slime. Actual slime, I don't have the money to go to a musical-"
"You're the most subscribed YouTuber in Japan," the blond butted in. "Plus you own a company, Tetsurou is co-president of that company, and I'm a professional athlete. No one buys that for a second."
"...I'm too lazy to get us all tickets to see a show in the States," the first relented, "at least for now. This has been requested a lot, and so has more videos with Kuro and Kei, so here's what happens when you try to get two easily distracted autistics and someone with ADHD to make slime without supervision."
"Place your bets now for who's gonna eat something inedible first, and what's it gonna be!" The third piped up, earning a glare from his boyfriends. "You can't even be mad, it happens every time!" The two were still glaring, and the video cut out just as Tetsurou looked ready to fear for his life.
It cut back in to the three with a bunch of materials in front of them. "If you want to know how to make slime, click another video we don't even know what we're doing." Kenma said, earning a snort from Tetsurou.
"This is about to go to shit," Kei muttered.
"We have a bunch of stuff here, including glue, whatever the fuck borax is, shaving cream, dye, and uh..." Tetsurou trailed off, physically grasping his hands as if he could snatch the words from the air. "This is, um, what's this called again?" His boyfriends just gave him a look that they didn't know either, the camera zooming in on the ravenette's squinty-confused face, Kenma's scrunchy-thinking face, and Kei's lip-bitey I-want-to-laugh-but-I-don't-know-the-answer-either face.
The video turned to a clip, obviously taken much later considering the sticky slime all over the three's hands and the table, to Tetsurou shouting "PALLETS!" Then turning back to where it left off.
"Let's start then, I guess," Kenma huffed slightly out of frustration, "this is gonna be a hot fucking mess."
The next few minutes were sped up, showing how they haphazardly threw ingredients in a bowl, voices squeaky due to the speed but intelligible sometimes. A few parts were slowed down back to normal speed (and sometimes replayed slower, for dramatic effect), such as when Kei's glasses fell into his mint green, still very sticky slime ("at least you used contact solution as activator?" "Shut the fuck up you fucking hyena") or when Kenma's tics got the better of him and he slammed his hand into a mountain of unmixed glue and shaving cream with a loud "SQUISH!" (after which he let out a deep sigh, stared right into the camera which had zoomed in on his face, and said "I squished it" with a voice so disappointed his boyfriends couldn't help but laugh), or when the cat jumped onto the table and nearly stuck her paws into Tetsurou's bowl of blood red slime before he caught her. Even with the higher speed you could see them steadily become covered in slime, hair dipping into it, and various mixtures falling onto the table and floor.
As for the earlier bet, Kuroo was, in fact, the first one to eat something (highly surprising, considering while they weren't big eaters both of his boyfriends had forms of pica), albeit on accident. He went to chew his nails at some point, only to realize belatedly that his hands were coated in glue and he ingested it in surprise. It didn't take long, though, for him to catch Kenma pouring a drop of food coloring into his mouth, or Kei licking shaving cream off his fingers ("people ask why we buy the more expensive, non-toxic shit when we don't have kids. This. This is why").
After 5 minutes of the sped up slime making, they resumed in normal speed to do an outro.
"Jesus fuck that was messy," the ravenette chuckled, still holding the cat away from his normal ("boring") slime, boyfriends entranced and consistently playing with their own (mint green with pallets for Kei, and pale pink fluffy slime for Kenma) still.
"I told you, when you wanted to do this, that it'd be messy. And what did you say Kuro?"
"...that it wouldn't be that bad."
"It's like you forgot who we are, Tetsurou," Kei smirked.
"Ah right, I forgot I need to check and make sure none of my boyfriends are eating shaving cream."
"You ate glue first!"
"On accident!"
"ALRIGHT that's all for today," Kenma butts in, mouth bright red from the earlier ingestion of food coloring, "thanks for watching this shitshow, I'll see you Thursday for my normal stream."
"Bye Kenma's subscribers!" Kuroo shouted, waving, as Kei waved slightly.
There was three seconds of black screen, before it went back to the clip immediately after Kenma had tried the red dye, now at normal speed so his words could be understood. "Huh, tastes like eggs."
"What the fuck babe."
There was another cut, and it showed the three looking at their kitchen sink in disbelief, the stainless steel streaked with various colors and spots of glue, shaving cream, contact solution, borax, and other chemicals.
"Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk" was the last word of the video, courtesy of Kodzuken himself.
[A/N: I'm hesitant to say I have pica just because I'm not sure if what I do actually fits the definition or not, but I do impulsively chew on/eat things. Especially that cardboard shit that like clothes tags are made of, thin plastic, vinegar, shit like that. Food dye does, in fact, taste vaguely of eggs, even when you've never used it for eggs. I know, I've tried it.]
