WARNINGS: Unintentional verbal bullying (does that even make sense? It's whatever the fuck Kags was doing in middle school), ableism, bullying (this one to not from Kags), insecurities
This song is King by Lauren Aquilina, and it's one of my favorites! The idea of Kageyama reclaiming his title after what was obviously a hard time is very special to me. As someone who went through a really bad situation in late elementary school and then put up such an angry front to protect myself, I identify with what Kageyama did a lot, because I see it as a coping mechanism for something else, so that is what shall be written.
You're alone, you're on your own, so what?
Have you gone blind?
Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?
Glass half empty, glass half full
Well, either way, you won't be going thirsty
Count your blessings, not your flaws
It shouldn't've phased him, Tsukishima called him "King" all the time and he'd gotten used to it, even when his old teammates Kindaichi and Kunimi called him that he wasn't upset like this. But it was from him, from Katsumi, and that hurt more than anybody else's ever could.
Katsumi, who caused him to end up with that nickname in the first place. Katsumi, who pretended to be his friend for so long just to manipulate the shit out of him. Katsumi, who was so fond of shaming him for his stimming, for his sensory overloads, for his personality, for whatever else that he couldn't even remember because of all the shit he put him through.
Katsumi, who showed up to their practice game against Aoba Johsai, two years after they graduated middle school, just to congratulate their former classmates, shoot the nickname at him, and leave with a smirk as the younger boy shut down.
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be king again
"Yamayama?" He finally registered the voice that'd been ringing out from his spot against the outside wall as his boyfriend. "Yama, are you there?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm back. Where's everyone else?"
"They went to the canteen while I got you. What happened? I haven't seen you zone out like that since our first match against Seijoh last year."
He planned to brush off the questions, say "nothing, just an off day," but instead he told Shouyo about it all. How Katsumi left him in the dust one day, leaving him lost and with no actual sense of self now that it wasn't all to appease the other boy. How he'd thrown everything into what he knew, volleyball, and that was why he was such a tyrant back then. How he'd built up those walls, another reason the nickname came about because they were like a fortress around him, stronger than Date Tech's Iron Wall, hiding something even more fragile.
You don't get what all this is about
You're too wrapped up in your self doubt
You've got that young blood set it free
Shouyo sat there in shock at just the little bit he'd heard, small body filling with rage at what his setter had gone through, but knowing he needed to rationalize because Tobio was fragile and sensitive right now, and anger would likely make the situation worse.
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be king
He let his boyfriend cry a little bit, silently and without sobs but tears falling nonetheless, when an idea struck him. He'd been thinking about last year's Aoba Johsai team, specifically Kunimi, Kindaichi, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa, when the last name rung a bell. Oikawa. The Grand King. That wasn't an insulting nickname, Oikawa was proud of that nickname.
There's method in my madness
There's no logic in your sadness
You don't gain a single thing from misery
Take it from me
"Okay, this might be a stupid idea, and you can tell me to shut up, you do it all the time anyways-"
"Get on with it Boke, I still want to have time to eat."
"Jeez, Bakageyama, okay."
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be king
"Oikawa's the Grand King right? And that's not an insult? Who says it has to talk about how you used to be a tyrant. We beat Shiratorizawa, Oikawa couldn't do that! You can be the kind king, well maybe not kind more like leader, who listens and makes sacrifices for his subjects and stuff!"
"That's, surprisingly... not completely idiotic."
"Hey!"
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
It wasn't a complete fix it, and it didn't work right away to bring memories of the good instead of the bad, but they worked on it. By the time he made Yamaguchi's vice captain (Tsukishima hadn't wanted the position, though he might as well have been co-captain anyways) he was the King in a new way, a way he was proud of. It still brought bad memories sometimes, but his teammates were there to help, and that's what made the biggest difference between the Tyrant King and the Leader King.
You can be King again
[A/N: You might notice in a lot of my fics that in a relationship (at least monogamous relationships) there tends to be one "stable caretaker" character and one "less stable and needs caretaker" one, that's because as a physically and mentally disabled, mentally ill and traumatized person that is really the only way romantic relationships work for me (obviously not one sided but I need more care than I'm physically able to give) so that's really what I know how to write, it may seem unhealthy in some ways but it's always like, fully communicated and healthy relationships. Cool? Cool. This note is also going in my Soul Eater and BNHA oneshots so if you read those this'll be there.]
