WARNINGS: Unhealthy coping mechanisms, severe overworking, internalized homophobia, mention of vomiting, neglect
This is a sequel to You Have Worth because why not! I love Akiteru so much and also he reminds me of my own brother soooo projection!
Suga, Daichi, and Kei sat on the bench in front of the gym, waiting for the familiar small green car to pull up. The captain silently held the youngest's hand, while the vice captain rubbed his back, offering comfort until the first year's biggest comfort arrived.
As soon as the headlights appeared, the third years helped their underclassman stand up; he was still weak from all of his working, and throwing up certainly didn't help. He trudged slowly to where the car pulled over, and as soon as it did Akiteru jumped out and ran to them. He wordlessly pulled his brother into a hug, letting Kei rest against his shoulder as he mumbled comfort, not for the first time wishing he was taller than the boy so he could encompass him like they did when they were younger. He felt wet patches begin to soak into his shirt, and noticed how wobbly his baby brother's legs were, so he turned around and led him to the car. "Thank you so much for watching out for him," he said to the captains.
"No problem. I don't want to see him at tomorrow's practice though, he's overworked himself enough and he needs a weekend off."
"I'll keep him home, Tadashi might end up skipping too though when he finds out what happened."
"That's fine, we'll tell coach. Have a good night," the grey-haired boy said.
"You too." He got back in the car, glancing Kei over one more time before he pulled out, noticing how he kept his knees tucked to his chest, glasses off and eyes closed but definitely awake, trying to mask some small sniffles and he just looked so small, too much like the little kid who came home upset because he was made fun of for his dinosaurs, before he met Tadashi and Akiteru was his only friend. He saw that he was sucking his thumb too, a stim he hadn't seen in years, and how glassy his eyes were when they peered open. The older sighed, driving out of the parking lot on the way to their house.
"Mom and dad aren't home tonight, I guess that isn't a surprise. You aren't going to practice tomorrow, let's have a brother night, like we used to when I was in high school."
"Sorry," Kei whispered, and Akiteru sighed. Not in anger, or exasperation, but sadness, that his baby brother had reached this stage.
"Don't be sorry, bubba," he used the nickname left behind long ago, expecting protest but instead getting a small, sad smile. "I just... Kei, why didn't you tell me? That you were feeling crappy, or, or that you were overworking, or that you puked, is it... I just want to know, is it something I did? Or was it just, one of those times where you feel like you can't."
"It-" Kei's voice caught, so he cleared his throat and started again. "It's the second one, not you I just, couldn't. I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's okay, it's not your fault. We don't have to talk about it right now, but I would like to know at least the basics at some point."
The younger nodded. "Can you turn on some music?" As Green by Cavetown filled the car, Akiteru reached over and set his hand on his brother's knee, hoping the weight would bring any bit of comfort (it did).
They pulled into their driveway not long after, but just as Akiteru went to open his door, a hand shot out and rested on his shoulder. "It's just..." The older gave him a moment to compose what he wanted to say.
"I want, I want to care about volleyball like Tadashi does, like Kuroo does, like you do but it's just... I don't even know. It's fun, I like it and I don't want to play another sport, but I just can't be as passionate as everybody else is. And Suga-san says it's fine, but he also said that about King taking his spot and that was a lie so how do I know this isn't? And then Tadashi... Tadashi. Fuck, I think I like him, like him, but I don't want to disappoint mom and dad since you're dating Tenma, and they want grandchildren that they can take care of better than they ever did us," he let out a bitter laugh. "And then there's the fact that there's no way Tadashi could like me, I'm sure he has a crush on Yachi and how could a sweet, shy girl compare to a prickly asshole who doesn't even know their own gender?! And yeah, I just accidentally came out to you which I didn't even mean to because like I don't know what the fuck I am and I've been trying things out with people online but I don't even really know them and just... shit!" Kei tucked their head into their knees, sobbing a bit as Akiteru processed what was just said.
"Ok, hey it's ok bubba, first and foremost, can I hug you?" A nod, so he surged forward and wrapped his arms around the figure that, despite having around 5 cm on him, was so small. "Shh, shh, relax Kei, I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I just want to understand."
They sat for a moment until the younger calmed down, and then, without moving, Akiteru continued. "Now, you mentioned gender? Do you think you're a girl? Or something else?"
"S-something else," was the whispered reply.
"Alright, that's alright, do you have any pronouns you want to try out? Or a new name?"
"Kei is fine, b-but, um... they. And she is also okay sometimes? But only sometimes, and ae is also, I dunno, it's nice, I guess?"
"Any nicknames or terms that are uncomfortable? Makes you dysphoric?"
"What, did you research when I was crying?" Ae snickered quietly.
"It's not like I live under a rock! I have trans friends, you know. Now, do you have an answer? Or do you not know?"
"Um-m, baby brother is, not, I dunno, but..."
"Hey, I'm not going to judge you. Go ahead, what sounds better than baby brother?" He was met with a mumble, too soft for him to hear. "Speak up a bit, I couldn't hear that."
"Baby sister." Ae cringed slightly, as if waiting to be laughed at, but instead arms just tightened around aer.
"Alrighty! Um, there was something else... oh yeah! Kei, listen to me closely with this one, got it?" A nod. "You don't have to be the most obsessed with volleyball, just because some other people are. No one is expecting you to, at least nobody important; I'm certainly not. I'd be perfectly fine if you decided you never wanted to play volleyball again, as long as you were feeling good about what you were doing. Okay? Please don't feel like you have to, I dunno, be the best to make up for not 'loving it enough.' Don't push yourself like you did tonight, okay? It's not healthy. I know I'm not always home, but you do have friends on that team, friends who can provide a distraction if you need one. As for the Tadashi thing? I know you love thinking rationally, so do it! Fuck what mom and dad are thinking, I know I want to adopt kids in the future anyways! You know he isn't going to leave you just because you have a crush on him, that kid looks at you like you hung the moon. Maybe he does have a crush on your manager, I know it hurts, but it'll be okay. Don't get so stuck in your head, Kei, and if you ever need to talk it out I'm at most a phone call away."
"Thanks, Akiteru."
"Anytime, baby sis." Ae felt aer heart flutter at the change in nickname, happiness and euphoria flowing through their veins as a small smile made itself known. "Now c'mon, you have to be hungry and I'll be damned if you don't drink some water. I'll get some shortcake down, and we can eat it in a fort in the living room, yeah?"
"Can we watch The Land Before Time?"
"Obviously! I wanna wear my t-rex onesie too, so you have to wear your stegosaurus one!"
"You mean ankylosaurus?"
"Same difference!" He clambered out of the car, the younger not far behind as they got into the house. Kei's legs were still shaking, so ae ended up sitting down in the shower as ae washed away the sweat and vomit that clung to aer frame. Akiteru had the basis of the fort done by the time they were back, siblings both sporting dinosaur onesies as promised, leaving Kei the task of making the inside as comfortable as possible. They then dug into their cake (Kei with a significantly bigger piece, not that ae were complaining) leaning into each other like they so rarely did anymore, younger twirling the small fabric stim toy that ae brought down and Akiteru playing with aer hair, whether for aer comfort or his own ae couldn't tell.
Halfway through the second movie, Kei lost the battle against exhaustion as ae fell completely asleep, Akiteru following not far behind once he was sure his baby sister was comfortable and content.
[A/N: I didn't even intend for Kei to come out of this autistic and femme nonbinary but my brain refuses to not let at least a few headcanons slip in. Also, Akiteru is the sappy older sibling that refers to his younger siblings as "baby sib!" and is obnoxiously loving, nobody can tell me otherwise.]
