Denver, December 1, 2016
Thursday
Elysia Rosalie Lockwood
"Elysia, why haven't you called me back?" My mother reprimands over the phone as I stroll through the grocery store isles. We needed dinner for the weekend and I was the last to say 'I'. Yes, my older roommates are sometimes this childish.
"I've been really busy, Mama. How are you? How's Daniel?" I ask, keeping the focus off of me. Even though his name leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Fortunately, he has a different affect on my mother.
"He's wonderful, working an awful lot lately. We're coming to visit tomorrow which you would have known had you not hung up so abruptly before." I grab a few steaks and continue in search of fries. I sigh, assigned guilt making its way to me through the phone, from her lips.
"I'm sorry, I was at an appointment. Oh! And the doctor walked in on me half naked because of that phone call, so, thank you for that." I snip sardonically.
"Oh, dear. Elysia, you must take precautions, use the curtain. Or you could go to a private doctor like I keep telling you and maybe incidents like this wouldn't happen." She patronizes, somehow turning this around making it my fault. I almost give her the satisfaction of groaning.
"We have a guest bedroom you can stay in." I say, giving up our argument knowing a daughter can never win an argument with her mother. I have years and years of proof.
"That sounds wonderful, darling, but Daniel thought it appropriate we stay in a hotel. We don't want to impose." I want to insist she stay, but I can't open my mouth to say the words.
"Well I'm making dinner tomorrow." Now I feel crappy, I ruined the conversation and now her mood will probably be sour when she comes tomorrow.
"Sounds great, honey. I really miss you." Her emotional, kind voice pulls at my heart strings.
"I miss you, too, Mama."
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I agreed to one meet with Lucien last week. It was now time to pay the piper. I had it all worked out. Charlotte and Mason have plans tonight, and so I agreed to let Lucien pick me up from the apartment. I sip a red wine to calm my raging anxiety. From my mom, her husband, seeing Lucien, and thinking of Bleu incessantly, I've never been more on edge. I place the glass on the table just as Charlotte steps through my bedroom door.
"We're leaving soon." She says, wanting to say more I can tell just by glancing at her eyes. I nod, "okay."
"Why don't you come with me? I can introduce you to my friends brother..." she tries.
"I'm good, perfectly content."
"Come on, Ely, you should get out. Meet someone. I just want you happy!" She pleads. I appreciate her, but I need her gone so I can meet someone.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Charlie, I'm fine." I drag the 'fine' out for emphasis.
"Okay! I believe you, trust me." I ignore the petty jab at my non-existent romantic life. No matter how much she wants me to have one, if I ever do, it won't be because I fed into the incessant nagging of my friends and family. "Elysia, we're best friends, right?" I crease my eyebrows, feigning shock but really just feeling anxiety gripping at my every nerve.
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Burning Desires
SachbücherThey were both so determined to have me. So relentless in their chase. I tried to tell the both of them I couldn't do it. I didn't date. I didn't have sex. I didn't do anything other than what was expected of me. But neither would listen and It...
