Pride

*Bonus Chapter* Ashley

Set in chapter 30.

"You don't have to do this, Ashley. You know I wouldn't blame you if-"

I roll my eyes. "I'm fine, Kayla. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

Kayla crosses her arms and gives me a look. I ignore her and start up the bleachers to find decent seats.

Unsurprisingly, once we're seated, she decides to bring it up again. "Ashley, you don't have to do this to yourself."

"I'm not doing anything to myself except subjecting myself to your constant pity. It's just a football game, Kay."

She narrows her eyes at me. "You say that like the guy who your ex dumped you for isn't the quarterback of the team."

"You say that like we're actually close enough to the field to see his face."

Kayla sighs exasperatedly. "Ashley."

"Kayla. You're acting like I'm going to officiate their wedding or something. We're here to watch a football game and support our school team. That's all. Now please stop making a big deal out of it."

She sighs again, but quieter this time, like she's coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to be stubborn about this, and therefore she has no real chance of getting me to leave. Even though I probably should. Even though I kind of want to.

I'm not an idiot. I know why Kayla is worried about me. Chase and Jordan are the golden couple of our school, so it would have been harder not to hear about their tradition of coming to each other's games and kissing after each victory. Like I told Kayla, it's not like we're close enough to see their faces, much less anything they do with them- but still.

I can't say I was exactly surprised when Chase broke up with me. He'd been distant for a few days at that point, and I figured it would come sooner than later. I can't say I was surprised when he ended up with Jordan, either- their relationship has always been very intense, and the thought of Jordan never seemed to quite leave Chase's mind entirely. He'd always end up back on the topic of Werewolf at some point.

Looking back on it, I'm actually kind of surprised that Chase dated me at all.

When I first came to this school, back when you had to choose between football and basketball and it would determine everything about your high school life, I chose basketball mostly because the girls I made friends with in the first few weeks did. One of them- Lindsay- had a brother on the team, and naturally that meant that if we wanted to be friends with her, we had to choose basketball over football. I didn't mind. I preferred watching basketball games anyways.

Since Lindsay's brother was on the basketball team, we ran into various other basketball players pretty often. It was really just luck that I happened to be friends with her- otherwise, I probably wouldn't have ever even talked to Chase. But as it turned out, we ended up saying hi whenever we saw each other, then flirting, then exchanging numbers, and it wasn't long before we started going out.

Chase was the heartthrob of the basketball side of the school- of course I was elated to be dating him, and then even mores when we became exclusive. But it didn't take me long to realize just how deeply he cared about Jordan- whether he thought it was hate or love, it was a lot.

I spent a bit of time in denial, trying to convince myself that Chase's top priority was our relationship. However, that was difficult when he'd always get distracted the second Jordan walked past. "Just a sec, Ash," he'd cut me off, and then gently remove his arm from around my waist and go antagonize Jordan.

I spent one weekend being angry about the fact that he didn't seem to be taking us seriously, or at least that he would always, always prioritize provoking Jordan over me. I'd tried asking him not to, telling him he could get in trouble or get hurt, but he'd just smirk, tell me not to worry or that I was cute when I was concerned, and then go do it anyways. Really, trying to give him reasons not to only made him more determined. Half of the fun for him was getting away with it.

So then, in a righteous fury, I decided that I would just break up with him the next time he chose Jordan over me. And then he walked away from me to antagonize Jordan, and I realized that I couldn't control him like that, that I would sound ridiculous and that I would be introducing a level of serious toxicity into the relationship. After trying to come up with a better solution, I eventually determined that if I wasn't enough for him, then that was that and there was nothing I could do. He would always choose Jordan first- to antagonize him, at the time. And then...

Once I stopped feeling gutted every time I watched my boyfriend walk away from me to provoke his supposed enemy- and just generally feeling down because everything was so good at first, and then it turned out he never really wanted me, and a whole bunch of other terrible stuff, I came to terms with the whole thing and found myself a lot happier. Chase wasn't using me, I know that he genuinely liked me, and genuinely wanted to date me. Nothing we had was fake. And once I accepted that Jordan was Chase's top priority in every situation, I stopped resenting him (and Chase, to the degree that I had begun to) and I just enjoyed our relationship while it lasted.

Looking back on it, I'm pretty sure I went through the five stages of grief (mourning my relationship with Chase) before it actually ended. Long before. And that's probably why I wasn't hugely shocked or upset when it did.

"Ashley," Kayla murmurs, quietly.

I hum a little to let her know I'm listening.

"You want to leave?"

I glance at the scoreboard. I know next to nothing about football, but I'm pretty sure the game is almost over. I really zoned out. I stare at it for a moment, then look down at the field. It's easy to pick Jordan out of all of the football players, even though the only thing I actually know is that he throws the ball. I look at him for a moment or two, watching as all of the other players line up facing each other and he stands back from them. He throws the football in a perfect arc, and it lands right in the hands of another player, standing at the end of the field. From the cheer that goes up around me, I assume that was probably Nate. Or maybe we got a point. I genuinely don't understand football.

"Ashley, it's the end of the game," Kayla tells me, bumping my shoulder.

"We can stay."

"Ash-"

I shoot her a look. She rolls her eyes, but doesn't say anything else.

A few minutes later, the game is apparently over, since our team has clumped together in a group hug, and the cheers coming from our side of the bleachers is practically deafening.

And then one of the players separates from the rest, and without his helmet on I can easily recognize Jordan's dark, curly hair as he sprints across the field. My gaze follows his trajectory, and my heart stutters for a moment.

Jordan reaches him a moment later, and cheers go up again, possibly even louder than before. The noise roars in my ears, the ache in my chest reaching the same intensity for just a split second.

But then I realize I'm smiling, and it isn't fake.

I'm genuinely glad that Chase has found this kind of happiness.

It only hurts to know that I wasn't able to give that to him.

A bonus chapter! I'm honestly kind of surprised at how easy it was to write this... apparently I've had a lot more thoughts about Ashley than I thought I did (especially since at first I wasn't planning on writing any more about her at all, until I decided that I should probably give her some sort of ending aside from her disappearance past chapter 10).

I have no idea how many bonus chapters I may end up writing, but I currently have one in the works and a few ideas aside from that. However, some of the bonus chapters may end up in Fine instead (because they'd contain spoilers for that book and/or would need the context of Fine to be fully understood) so keep an eye out there as well!

As always, if you enjoyed this bonus chapter, please consider giving it a vote or comment to let me know! Thank you so much for all your support :)