Silenced- A Larry Stylinson Story

Chapter 29- POV Louis: Give Me a Reason

"Good news, Louis, you can leave today." The doctor states. I don't remember his name- he told me a week ago, but I've had too much on my mind to try and recall a doctor's name I probably will never need to know past today, because I'm getting discharged.

Am I happy about that? Uh... no. I like the way everything and everyone in the hospital runs like a machine- neat, clean, and on time. It's peaceful. At home, however, with my sisters running around, I'll be lucky if I can get a few minutes of quiet time. I love my sisters, but they're a little crazy.

"Louis? Did you hear him? You get to go home today." Mum rests a hand on my shoulder, eyebrows furrowed in concern but mouth twisted into an excited smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, I heard. That's great." I mumble unenthusiastically.

Mum nods at the doctor, signaling for him to leave, then sits next to me on the bed and looks at me curiously. "What's wrong, love?" She inquires.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I shrug the question off.

"Louis. I know you're not. I'm your mother, I can read you like a book. Now tell me what's going on."

I look up at her. "I don't know." I start. "I guess I'm just frustrated. Everything that's happened... I just keep wondering, why me? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Hun... you did nothing to deserve this. Sometimes good people get dealt bad circumstances, they're thrown into the deep end without learning how to swim. And that's what happened to you. You have to learn how to swim as you go. It will get better. I know that's cliche, but trust me, it will. And, Louis-" She pauses after she notices me avoiding eye contact. "Louis, look at me." I look up at her concerned expression. 

"What?"

"Your future self needs you. Your past doesn't. Okay? Try your best to look ahead, focus on the future." She says.

"Okay. Thanks, Mum."

"Of course, dear. I have to work now. See you later when you get discharged. Love you."

"Love you too." She strides out of the door after sending me a remorseful grin, and I lean back against the pillow, head suddenly overcome with a throbbing that makes me cringe and groan. I place a pillow over my face, blocking out the light, and putting an uncomfortable pressure on my head that actually helps relieve some of the pain for a moment. I let out a loud sigh, lungs deflating, then inhale again as another wave of pain hits.

__________

"Lou?" A voice says from the doorway. I pull the pillow off my head and wince at the overwhelming light pouring in my open eyes. Looking towards the door, I see Harry hovering nervously, eyes teary but jaw clenched angrily. 

His curls are stiff and greasy, falling gracefully over his ears and framing his sharp jawline. He looks left into the hallway, farther than I can see, but looks to be having a conversation of some kind with someone on the other side of my room- a conversation without words, just moving his eyebrows and widening his eyes to convey his point.

"What?" I answer, a little harsher than I meant to get his attention, distracted from the dull throbbing in my skull.

"Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Uh... yeah. Sure. It's not like I have anywhere to be or anything." I say, chuckling. He doesn't laugh.

"So... I've been thinking." He begins, eyeing me but not maintaining eye contact. "I talked to some people, and... I really don't think I am going to wait for you. It's hurting me to be here, to watch you inch away from me when I sit next to you because you don't recognize me, to want so badly to laugh with you and joke with you and kiss you, but you don't remember me, so I can't. I just... I can't do it. It's too much. I need to move on from this mess." My eyes widen. He really means it.

"Harry, no... don't do this. I will remember. It might be a while, but I will." Tears form in my eyes, and I look at him, try to get him to feel some compassion for me. But his face is like stone. He shows no emotion, no sign that this is painful for him to say, and I know it is.

"I can't keep doing this, Louis, okay? You'll be fine. You'll move on from me. I have to start fresh and leave all this behind. It's too complicated."

"Fight, Harry. You're a fighter. Fight for us. Don't just give up, okay?" I protest, running my hands through my hair in dread and fury.

"I'm tired of fighting. For once I want to be fought for." He yells, silencing us both.

What feels like an eternity passes. I can hear the clock ticking, slowly, miserably. Seconds turn to minutes.

In those precious, in those tender moments, it all flashes before my eyes. Our first date. The first kiss. The time I got attacked by pigeons. Sneaking out of boarding school in the middle of the night to call him on a payphone. Climbing in through his window to spend time with him during the first few days of winter break.

The accident. The accident. The ear-shattering screams. Blood everywhere. The tears. So many tears. And then... the dizziness. The room spinning around my head, engulfing my senses. Hearing- gone. Eyesight- gone. Gone. Everything, gone. At the time, I figured it was love making my heart hurt but then I couldn't breathe and god, my head hurt so bad and then I found myself on a stretcher and then I saw black. Nothing.

And now, here, in a silent hospital room, I remembered everything. It was an overwhelming sensation, that's for sure. I could never describe it and truly encapsulate it's full sensation, but it was very overwhelming. Suddenly, I had a life again, I had a past. I had... a love again. And it felt... incredible.

Slowly, I drifted back to reality, a grin pasted foolishly across my face as my stomach did backflips at the sight of Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry.

My grin fades as I realized what had just happened.

"Haz-" I start.

"Louis," He interrupts fiercely. "Just... let it go. Deal with it. I don't want to leave. I have to, don't you see that? Don't you?" He turns around, leaving me in shock, trying to force the words out of my mouth, but getting frustrated when they all get stuck in my throat. 

When he reaches the doorway, he turns around, and, with glassy, alluring eyes, states, "Give me a reason to come back, and I will."

I'm frozen. I want nothing more than to chase after him and to save this, save us, but I can't move. And when I am finally able to force myself out of my shocked state and sprint to the doorway, falling over in disorientation in the process as a result of my crippling headache, he has vanished. 

Disappeared. 

He's gone.

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