Silenced- A Larry Stylinson Story

Chapter 18- POV Louis: Cherry

I am lying in bed, thinking about Harry, (what's new?) trying to will away the overpowering itch that my wrists possess and the irritating urge that my mind won't let go of. As hard as I try, I can't force the compulsion out of my brain and I find myself on the bathroom floor again, pressing a razor to my wrist- the other one this time.

I am halfway through the cut when the door swings open and I slowly look up, horrified that one of my sisters has walked in on the immense pain I am inflicting on myself.

And suddenly, I am staring into the eyes of the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. He is standing in the doorway, broad and tall, skinnier, but still toned, and incredibly hot. The shining smile he was wearing when he came into the bathroom disappears quickly. His green-blue eyes gleam, but quickly start watering at the sight of me. He is wearing my favorite outfit on him, including the sweatshirt I have stolen from him countless times because it smelled good- like him.

I immediately rip the razor out of my arm, which is incredibly painful, but I can't let Harry see me like this.

"Are you real?" I ask in shock. He nods and kneels next to me, crying now, and shaking tremendously, and presses a towel against my wrist. I wince. His arms wrap gently around me, which breaks me, and soon I am sobbing into his chest, overwhelmed with so many feelings and so much pain, both emotionally and physically.

In between sobs, I confess how insanely much I missed him, and he responds with a, "Me too, baby." that is so raspy and prepossessing that I nearly faint.

For a while longer, I lay in his arms and we portray our love for one another with cute cheesy phrases and, for a bit, some making out, until I hit my head on the toilet and we fall over laughing.

Then he notices the bloody towel he is pressing against my wrist, and his enchanting smile turns into a deep frown. I follow his gaze to my wrist and lift the towel off the deep cut. He tightly bandages my wrist, frowning disappointedly at me the entire time. He then leads me back to my bedroom and turns around as I change into sweatpants. I don't put a shirt on, which I can tell makes him want to smile, but he bites his lip because he doesn't want to give me that satisfaction.

We sit on his bed, gazing at each other, taking in the other person's favorite features and smells and physical qualities, still a little shocked by the fact that we are in each other's presence after so long.

"Louis, I-" Harry begins. I silence him with a gentle kiss. He pulls away and says, "Louis, we need to talk."

"Let's not, Haz." I whine and give him another kiss, this time a bit deeper. He pulls away again.
"I'm not kissing you until you talk to me." He states firmly. I give him my best pleading eyes, but he shakes his head anyways. 

I sigh and lay back on the bed. He lays next to me and rests his head above mine, positioning my head in the space under his chin. "Lou. Talk to me. Tell me why you are doing this." He mutters into my hair. When I don't answer, he flips around on his side so he is facing me and looking down on my head, which is still resting on the pillow. "Louis. Please. I really want to kiss you right now but I told myself I wouldn't until we talked. So, please. Talk so I can kiss you."

"Fine." I grudgingly agree and turn my head to the right to look at him. "It was- is- really hard. Just to keep going without you. I love you so much and I missed everything about you. I still do, even though you're right here in front of me. Even the things you hate about yourself, like your cute toned legs and the way you sometimes get so nervous you bite your lip until it bleeds." He looks down at his lap and his cheeks turn red. He pulls his teeth off of his lower lip and I can see him cringe at the metallic taste of blood. A smile flutters across my lips.

"Keep going, darling." He prompts.

"Harry, I really don't want to get into the details." I sigh and a tear escapes my eye and rolls down my cheek. Harry wipes it away with his thumb. "You're too young and innocent for this. I'm too screwed up for you to understand." I say sadly.

"I may be young, but I'm not innocent. I've gone through plenty of crap." A look of regret washes over his face as he blurts that out, making me deeply curious. "But that doesn't matter." He adds quickly. "And Lou, you're not screwed up. You just need help. We all do. But maybe you a little more than others."

"Maybe." I admit

"Do it for me?"

"I'll try."

"Can I kiss you now?" He finally asks, head bowed.

"Oh, please." I breathe, practically jumping on to him and mashing our lips together. I kneel over his body, which is laying flat on my bed and hold myself up by placing my right hand next to his head on the pillow.

In such a smooth rhythm, our lips dance over one another's, and unconsciously we know which way to tilt our heads, almost like we've been doing it forever. He slides his tongue over my lip and I push my lips into his even harder, tracing a few fingers down his sides to his hips, where I leave one of my hands resting. The other, still holding me up, intertwines in his curly locks that I love so much. His hands rest on my bare chest, leaving a burning trail on my skin. I inhale deeply through my nose and pull away a little, but Harry places his hands on my jaw and pulls me back in, kissing me with everything he has. It's beautiful and sweet until I can feel my jaw damp against Harry's. I rest my lips and lean back, despite Harry's quiet pleas to continue snogging. Glancing at his beautiful face, I can see that he is silently crying.

"What's wrong?" I ask concernedly.

"Nothing. Come here." He tries to pull my face in towards his again.

"No, Harry. What is it?" I roll over so I am laying next to him, hand slung carelessly over his chest and face nudged in his shoulder.

He hesitates before saying, "I- I had to stand up to my stupid Dad and he had to send me to boarding school and now I can never see you and- and it's all my fault that you're cutting yourself. You're hurting yourself and why is this world so freaking screwed up?" He yells, sobbing into my chest as I kiss his hair.

"I know, Hazza. I know it sucks. But please, please, please believe me when I tell you that it's not your fault. I have struggled with this in the past. It's really freaking tough but I'll work on it, okay, baby?"

"It hurts me. It hurts me to know that you are hurting."

"We're both hurting. And we'll get through it."

"I hope so."

"Me too."

"You know what, Lou?" He asks.

"What?"

"You're like my Cherry." I look at Harry, perplexed, expecting an explanation. "My whole life, I have been missing something. I have never known what, though. I just knew. But now that I have you, my life is complete. You complete me. And when you're not with me, it's just not right. You're my Cherry." I grin in response.

"I love you, Hazza." I say.

"I love you too, Cherry." We both giggle and continue kissing, soaking up our time together and trying not to think about the fact that Harry will be leaving again soon.

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