Michaelishious - Vol. 2021

Dec. 1st: Pale

I was thirsty. So unbelievably thirsty.

I'd been wandering through the park for a while now. Back and forth. Then back again. Some might say I was one of those creeps that lurked around after young girls, but I wasn't. I was just extremely thirsty. And maybe a little bit creepy, too.

I'd started right after darkness, because that's when I climbed out of my chamber. Figuratively and literally speaking. My bed was a coffin of polished mahogany wood, with deep red and incredibly soft silk upholstery. It was very comfortable, but unfortunately also pretty cramped in the long run. So I stretched like a cat and rubbed my eyes, before I put some extra effort into getting dressed in my new, black suit.

It was custom made by the best tailor in the state, and the jacket had sharply cut, puffed shoulders, extra long tail split and a collar that was so high that it covered my cheeks. Perfect to hide my fangs when I spotted a potential victim. Because I...

...was a vampire.

I put on my silk cape and black Oxford shoes, which were polished to shine even in the dim moonlight. Then I combed my black curls slick against my scalp all the way back to the neck, but I didn't look into the mirror. I never did. It captured souls, which was scary as hell. Only humans used those, and how they ignored the risk of having their souls shattered when the mirror broke, beats me. Maybe they were more fearless than me?

Pfff... Utter nonsense!

I was Nephilim Baudelaire; the most infamous and fearless vampire of this century. Nobody had seen me and survived for two reasons only. My disguise was complete perfection, and my moves were so smooth that I became invisible. Nevertheless, though people never saw me, everybody knew the legend. And everybody knew that if you were outside after midnight, you were at risk of being my next prey.

In the beginning, when I first discovered that I indeed was a vampire, I was ashamed. I mean, I'd always known that I wasn't like everyone else. While my friends were out playing at the beach in the summer, I was inside, hiding from the sun in the basement. They loved any kind of food, with lots of spices, onions and garlic, while I stuck to my tasteless tomato soup with extra macaroni in it. I mean, it was red... And don't you dare mention garlic!

Maybe the resemblance to blood should have given me a clue, but there were always excuses. Being nocturnal was practical since I was working night shifts, and being pale and light sensitive was a natural result of being indoors all day. It was first when I got the morbid need to drink blood, that I realized that there was something more to it. And tonight I was thirsty again.

I kept lurking in the bushes, hiding behind trees and statues, while I waited until the clock struck twelve. And it didn't take more than four minutes until I found her. She wasn't too tall, and definitely not skinny looking, but that was exactly how I liked them. Something solid to hold on to while I sunk my teeth into her and drank her blood. Well, not only my teeth, but she'd find out soon enough.

It was now or never.

She was walking together with her friends, but I frowned to myself when I counted three ladies instead of two. It was first when I jumped in front of them and opened my cape to reveal a bare chest and an even bearer groin, that I found out that she was the wrong victim.

"POLICE! HELP! WE'RE GETTING ASSAULTED!" they screamed, so loud that my ears hurt, and I instantly covered myself and started apologizing. Naturally we ran off in opposite directions, equally flustered, until I stopped under a large pine-tree to catch my breath and recollect some of my dignity. That didn't help much. Two other ladies had obviously witnessed the whole thing, and were laughing their asses off. But just as I was about to stomp off, one of them approached me and asked if I was okay.