Michaelishious - Vol. 2021

Dec. 2nd: Big Berta (pt. 1)

I was driving slowly down the graveled road, while I sent a silent prayer to whatever outer source there was that could keep me from crashing into something or someone. My focus was barely on the road at all. I was trying to decipher a handwritten address to a delivery I had in the back of my truck. And if I could, I would call the one who wrote it and cuss him out until his ears fell off. Unfortunately, that person was none other than myself, and the address was written in a hurry while I had my arms full and my phone squeezed between my ear and shoulder. Plus, I knocked over my soda, so the ink was partially smeared across the dotted line. Just great.

"Dammit! I know it was supposed to be somewhere around here," I mumbled angrily to myself. I brought the truck to a complete halt so I could take a look at the road signs. Except, there weren't any. The place was so deserted that I'd only passed three houses and an old, abandoned factory the past twenty minutes of driving, and I was starting to believe I was lost.

All I could see was a little crossroad. If I continued to the right, it looked like I could go on into nothingness forever. And if I turned left, I would head into a narrow and very bumpy road, with overhanging branches that probably would ruin the truck paint on the sides. So I picked the most logical one. I simply turned the truck around and returned to where I came from. I would just have to call the recipient and tell them that they'd have to pick their package up at the closest post office themselves. I didn't have time for this.

It had been a terrible day. It was Friday and I was exhausted from the week already before I got out of bed that morning. In addition, it was warm like the chambers in hell and the AC had stopped working yesterday. I had to swivel down both my window and the one on the passenger side just to be able to breathe, which was extremely inconvenient because that's where I'd placed my list and the delivery notes. And the stupid wind made me have to stop twice to retrieve important papers that flew out the window.

On top of that... Insects. Lots of insects. Especially flying ants. Ugh, I hated those. And I probably ate enough to cover my proteins for lunch and then some. Involuntary, of course. They were literally everywhere.

I slowed down when a little, red car came rushing towards me way too fast for my liking. The road was merely wide enough to allow two small cars to pass, and I had a whole truck. Not especially big, but still a truck. So when the car came closer without showing any signs to put the brakes on, I simply parked in the middle of the road. That left them with three choices; either hit me head on, crash into the ditch or stop. And luckily they chose the latter, although it wasn't very appreciated. I could tell that much.

At first we just sat there and glared at each other, wanting the other to move. And when neither of us did, I decided to take the opportunity to ask for the address I'd been searching for. Maybe I could finish my deliveries the way I was supposed to after all?

I climbed out of my truck and strolled towards the little Subaru with my hands in my pockets. I didn't see the person driving well enough to decide whether it was a man or a woman, but when he stepped out of the small car and towered over my rather small frame with his arms crossed over his chest, I knew it was a man. Or, so I thought until he spoke up.

"You're in my way. Move."

I blinked a couple of times to make sure I heard right, but the tall person in a square patterned flannel shirt and denim overalls was surprisingly enough female.

"Uhh... I'm sorry," I started, and she shook her head and made a grimace that spoke in clear volumes of what she meant about me.

"I'll move out of your way, but I just gotta ask you a question. I'm searching for an address."

I didn't get any response at all. It was like she didn't even hear me, until I could spot a hint of amusement in her eyes when I started to fumble with my note and stutter.