Heart is the Key towards Home (Wynonna Earp)

Chapter 3

"Hey, Doc. I'm bored." Wynonna says as she taps her fingers along to yet another Adele song. "And we really need to talk about your Adele obsession." she adds in mock annoyance. She would never admit it to the cowboy, but she does on occasion like to jam out to Someone Like You. Doc gives her a sidelong glance and shrugs his shoulders as if to say I love Adele, what of it? At which Wynonna just scoffs.

As Doc continues to focus on the road, the Earp sneaks a peak at his handsome features. Strong jawline, blue eyes, moustache...A thought then occurs to her. "Can I shave your moustache?" she asks innocently, causing Doc to stiffen in his seat. "No, Wynonna! This is going to be a three day trip, woman. We have only been on the road for 10 minutes, barely out of Purgatory! How can you already be at a level of boredom which would have you conspiring to remove my best feature?" He says, clearly distraught at the very idea.

At his words Wynonna's face takes on a devilish expression. "Well now, cowboy, let's not be modest here. That dead rat on your top lip is definitely not your best feature." She purrs, at which Doc manages to look both intrigued and annoyed. Composing himself, he finally responds with "None of my facial hair shall be sacrificed during this trip, try as you might. Don't forget, I am still the fastest draw in the West. That also counts for deviant women wishing to harm a man's mustachio."

"Fine! I'm just saying, I think you would look very sexy without a moustache." she huffs. She then proceeds to grab the hat from his head, shifts her seat back and places the cowboy's headgear over her eyes.

"Doc, wake me up if we stop somewhere, or if someone is trying to kill us or if anything else interesting happens." She says as she starts to doze off.

Doc looks over at Wynonna with a slight grin on his face, shaking his head at her antics and says "This is going to be a long trip."

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"THESE WRETCHED KIDS!" Doc shouts all of a sudden, violently pulling Wynonna from her dream of shirtless cabana boys and an endless supply of whiskey and donuts. She jerks upright in a panic swinging Peacemaker around, the motion causing Doc's hat to fly off her face and almost out the window. Looking very much disgruntled and confused, yet determined to kill, she asks "What the actual fuck? Where do I shoot Doc?"

"No, Wynonna! There is no need for your gun. These youngsters behind us keep driving on Charlene's rear end and I do not believe the lady fancies the gesture very much."

Wynonna looks behind them to find a blue convertible occupied by four pimply and very rowdy teenage boys.

"Oh, they think they are being real smart do they? I'll show them just who they are messing with! She shouts.

A now very awake and very pissed off Wynonna leans out the window with Peacemaker in her hand, shouting at the convertible behind them. Doc pulls the angry Earp back into the car by her leather pants using his free hand.

"Wynonna, please! You can't just go pointing your gun at everybody and anything that you are not in agreement with out here. This ain't Purgatory." He tells her.

"But Doc, they can't just be allowed to get away with being tiny dick pickles like that!" Wynonna protests.

Doc slows down and moves their car to the side to allow the teenagers to pass. He then looks over at Wynonna with a serious look and instructs her "Wynonna, please behave yourself when they pass us."

"Fine!" The Earp huffs, folding her arms in annoyance and looking look like a petulant child.

As the convertible passes, the teenagers pull mocking faces and flips the couple off. Doc could practically feel the heat radiating from Wynonna's anger.

"Fuck this Doc!" she shouts as she grabs Peacemaker and leans out the window.

Realizing much too late what the Earp was about to do, Doc shouts "No, Wynonna! Don't!" The cowboy desperately attempts to grab a very riled up Wynonna to get her back in the car for a second time. He is unsuccessful.

"Hey, smartass! Eat Shit!" Wynonna shouts over at the blue teenage mobile. She then proceeds (to the absolute horror of the gunslinger next to her) to point her gun at the convertible and fires. The bullet hits the ground right next to the driver's side.The only accurate description of the teenagers' reaction would be to say they looked like they shit themselves in fright. The boy in the driver seat hits the breaks, causing the convertible to swerve violently and finally come to a halt on the side of the road.

"See what you have gone and done, Wynonna! What if those kids go to the law? Nicole ain't here to pardon us. We can't just go around shooting at people because they are being rude, damn it woman!

"Well, I just gave them a free lesson in respect. Someone needs to educate the youth around here!" she replies in defiance, at which Doc looks very much unimpressed and shakes his head.

The cowboy pulls his car over to the side of the road, near where the convertible had stopped. "Wynonna, stay in the car and give me my damn hat!" he orders her, causing the Earp to huff indignantly before she hands him his treasured head piece. Doc fixes the hat on his head and walks over to the teenagers' car.

"Good afternoon, are you all okay? I do apologize for my, uh, partner's behavior. She is a bit of a wild one, and tends to get too enthusiastic upon meeting new folk." He says in attempt to reassure the youngsters and free Wynonna from a possible felony charge.

The kids look at Doc with a mixture of confusion and fear in their eyes. "I don't understand what you just said Mister Cowboy sir, but please don't shoot us. We promise to not bother you ever again, just let us go!" the blond boy in the driver seat says, accompanied by murmurs of agreement from his terrified passengers.

Doc lifts his hat slightly and sighs. "I am not going to shoot you, young man! I am merely trying to provide you with assistance. I have noticed that your back wheel has become deflated. This may have transpired during your attempt to steady your vehicle in response to all the, uh, excitement just now." Doc tells them. The blond boy's face seems become even paler when being reminded of the traumatic experience.

"Do you perhaps have a spare wheel in the back? I shall assist you in rectifying the situation, so that you may soon be on the road once more." He offers them, with the kindest smile he can muster. This does seem to put the teenagers at ease, if only slightly.

"Sure thing, mister." The blond boy (clearly their spokesperson) says. He gets out of the car and opens the trunk.

Wynonna leans out the window of Charlene, watching the interaction unfold. Growing bored once again, she shouts "Doc, what's going on? Do you need my help with those smartasses?"

"No, Wynonna. I've got a handle on the situation!" Doc assures her, not wanting to risk any further antics from the Earp.

"Fine! But can you numbnuts hurry it the hell up? Time is a-ticking!" She returns, pointing at an imaginary watch on the wrist of her leather jacket.

Hearing Wynonna's voice causes the teenagers to all stiffen in unison. Later, Doc would describe this as being quite comical to witness. "Is that crazy chick with the gun coming over here?" A fair-haired boy in the back of the convertible asks the gunslinger, clearly terrified at the mere thought.

"No, do not be alarmed. I have instructed her to remain in the car. You are quite safe, son." Doc reassures him, trying to hide his amusement.

The cowboy then removes the necessary tools from the trunk and sets to work as he says "Now then, let's get this wheel of yours sorted so that we can all get back to our respective endeavours!"