Fated | Yoonmin

Chapter 12 - breath fanning over my lips

The following weeks kept going just like the weeks before - I ate with my friends, or just alone with Jimin from time to time, went to my lectures, tried to study, got distracted and stopped, tried to keep my mind off of the way Jimin wore shirts way too big for him - since it had gotten too warm for sweaters - that kept sliding off his shoulder and exposing his collar bones whenever he didn't sit still.

Hiding my feelings for him got harder every day that passed with him near me, yet I didn't know what to do about it. I wasn't a complete idiot, I knew that Jimin liked me at least a little more than you were supposed to like a friend - I noticed how he blushed more easily at me than at our other friends, I knew that he didn't cuddle up to Hoseok, Namjoon, Jin or even Jungkook as much as he did to me, and I realised that it meant something that he never asked anyone else to eat with the two of us whenever we went to our usual Ramen Bar.

But even knowing that he might not say no if I asked him out, I couldn't do it. No matter how happy I would be with him, he would ultimately find his soulmate and leave me for him, because that was the thing one was supposed to do - find their soulmate and live happily ever after.

It was what Jimin was supposed to do, and I wouldn't be able to bear him leaving me for the sole reason that the universe hadn't chosen me for him.

"Want to meet up tomorrow? I found this really cute café a few stops away from the shop Kookie works at. We could get some coffee and donuts and maybe go for a walk after."
Even though we were on a table with everyone else, like every friday, nobody even spared us a glance when Jimin talked. It was almost worrying how everyone knew he was only talking to me, even more worrying how much it sounded like a date and nobody even acted surprised. Of course, I just smiled and agreed. I wasn't good at saying no to Jimin.

I got up early to get ready the next day, even though Jimin and me would only meet at 5pm, just to get some studying in - or more like staring at my book and telling myself that it would be okay and that I would get through this without accidentally confessing my feelings for Jimin just to ultimately get my heart broken.

This would be fine.

-

It was not fine.

We met up in front of the café, and I already felt like running off at the very sight of Jimin - he wasn't even dressed that differently from his usual attire, but the cat print on his light pink shirt made him look so incredibly soft that I wanted to put him in my pocket and keep him forever.

We proceeded to both get coffee and a donut - just as Jimin had said the day before - and went to a nearby park, sitting down in the shade of a tree and chatting about everything and nothing until there was no coffee or sweets left and the sun stood low on the horizon, painting the sky in different hues of orange and red.

When Jimin noticed the beautiful sunset admist a pause in his rambling about the book he had read this week, he gasped and immediately leaned over my lap to get a good look at the beautiful colours - why didn't I sit down on his left instead?

The movement made his hair fall over his eyes - it had gotten a little long, since his last haircut had been a while back - and the only effort he made to get it out of his face was to blow on it absentmindedly, too distracted by mumbling about how pretty the sky looked.

I didn't think before I acted, or else I probably wouldn't have ever done something like what I did. As if on autopilot, my hand brushed over his cheek, softly tucking a strand of hair behind Jimins ear, that immediately turned a little red at the action, just as his gaze turned towards me.

He was close.
I didn't realise how close he was until we were facing each other, his breath fanning over my lips as if it was taunting me to look at his full ones.
But I couldn't tear my gaze off of his eyes, so full of emotions I couldn't quite pinpoint.

At first, I didn't even notice that I leaned in, I only realised when his eyes widened, so, so incredibly close to mine, when I felt his gasp against my skin, almost feeling the heat radiating off of his lips. I could almost taste him.

I immediately backed off, broke eye contact and shuffled away, my breath quickening.

"It's late. I think I should go."
I knew I didn't sound calm, I could hear my voice waver and break, but I didn't dare to look at Jimin to see his reaction.

I was scared to see disgust.

I was even more scared to see disappointment, longing, or even love.

So I did what I knew best to do when I was scared.

I ran.