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TW: mentions of loss and difficult times.
If you don't know, Jesy Nelson has now officially left Little Mix. It's been announced on the Little Mix Instagram page and Jesy's own personal Instagram page and ever since it has been announced, I've had tears constantly leave my eyes.
Little Mix have been such a big part of my life ever since they were formed in 2011. They've helped me through so much. I know that's so cliché to say and it might seem pathetic to some people but it's the honest truth.
My Grandad passed away in December of 2011 when I was just eight years old. I didn't know the extent of his illness so it came as a shock to me. The last Christmas gift that he ever gave me was Little Mix's Cannonball album, their winner's album and I had that thing on repeat. When it was the day of his funeral, I went to my best friend's house (I chose not to go because I knew that I would get upset) and we spent the whole day dancing to the four tracks that were on it to take my mind off it.
I suffered really badly with migraines for years (I mentioned this in another chapter) and I had so many tests done. I was even sent for an MRI to check for a possible brain tumour. That was incredibly scary and quite lonely. I was allowed to listen to music when I was in the MRI machine and the only music that they had that I liked was Little Mix's DNA album. I went from being scared to trying not to dance in the machine. (Everything was all clear by the way.)
I felt incredibly isolated at this time in my life. Never being at school because of constant headaches meant that I never really got to see my friends and I felt that they grew closer whilst I almost drifted away. It was a horrible feeling and I'm still not as close to them as I once was but I have new friends now who are much more understanding. When I went through that period of loneliness, I had the girls and their music to pick me up.
It became a tradition for me to ask for the new Little Mix album as a CD throughout the years (this has stopped because I no longer have anything that plays CDs and I have Spotify which is actually kind of sad now that I think about it). I even had a Little Mix themed birthday party when I was 10 where everyone had to come dressed as a member of Little Mix (cringeee).
After her documentary, 'Odd One Out', I think we all opened our eyes and saw just how much she had been through and fake smiled her way through it. It was heartbreaking. If everyone had just been that little bit kinder...
All we know is that Jesy has left for her mental health and I respect that. She's such a strong woman but there's only so much pressure a person can take. I wish her all the best in whatever it is that she does next whether it be staying out of the public eye or pursuing some sort of solo career. She is such an inspiration to every young woman and everyone else. I couldn't have asked for a better role model growing up.
She has done so much for so many people and I can't wait to support her in whatever she does next.
Take this as your reminder to be nice. You never know what people are going through and how your words might affect them.
For now, I'm going to try and not cry on my Spanish lecture because 2020 has been the worst year.
