Sticky End

nineteen

He was being crushed by Sehun's embrace. It was a happy feeling, joyfulness filled his heart and it made him cry harder. He couldn't get away from him, his heartbeat was going faster and louder than ever, but Luhan noticed that it wasn't only his heartbeat that was fast. His ears were right on Sehun's chest, being so close he could hear it clearly.

'I'm here for you, hyung' Sehun started to talk again.

            Luhan's eyes continued to drip more tears, 'I want to help you, why won't you let me?'

With eyes blurred from his tears, and his mouth trembled he answered with a shaky voice to his brother, 'I'm afraid, Sehun'

Sehun looked at Luhan with the most sincere eyes and said, 'What are you afraid of hyung?' Immediately, Luhan pushed him and then turned away from him, but Sehun pulled him back to make him face him. 'Please let me help you, hyung'

Luhan shook his head violently and ran away, but Sehun ran after him. He didn't think twice, this was his chance to do something. Just before Luhan had gotten out of his room, Sehun had pulled him back into an embrace. He knew – Sehun knew how much Luhan was grieving much more than how he looked.

 A piece of paper Sehun had picked up when he cleaned his hyung's room led him to curiously open it. And in that piece of paper he found the words...

            'I'm afraid that I won't be able to find true happiness anymore, I'm afraid of those people who gives me distasteful stares because of the incident, I'm afraid that there would not be anyone who could learn to accept me anymore'

And in the end of the messy little crumpled paper there was a desperately crossed out sentence that was still readable, 'Help me, Sehun... I'm afraid you'd hate me more'

'Sehun, please... I want you to leave me alone! Let me go!' Luhan insisted, but Sehun didn't bother to listen to him but instead turned him around to look at his hyung's face and took all the courage as he started with a cracked voice,

'Hyung, I want you to know that you were never a burden to me... I never hated you and I never will... there's nothing that could change that' he took a deep breath, 'I want to do anything that I can to help you get away from this...' his eyes started to well up tears, 'I want to make you forget the bad things, please let me'

Luhan was awfully confused for his brother's words as he let him go, he started to walk back away from him, holding his wrist that was sore from Sehun's tight grip; he couldn't believe that his brother never once hated him.

'I've been awful to you, but it wasn't because I hated you, hyung' he gave a weak smile. 'I did that because I needed to... and I'm sorry... If only I hadn't kept my distance to you... then maybe this would be far away from us. If only I forced you back, if only I didn't hurt you... But I guess it's too late to change things right?' his chuckle and his smile failed miserably.

            Luhan couldn't stand to see his brother break down like this, slowly he walked back to him and with his light touch he held Sehun's face, 'I... I never blamed you for this' he said softly with the voice he was able to muster. 'I'm – I'm happy' his eyes started to blur as tears overflowed. 'I'm happy to know that you never hated me... I can't believe it...'

            Sehun wiped away the tears from his cheeks and said, 'I love you... hyung' he saw how Luhan's eyes widened but he still continued, 'I can't keep it anymore, I'm sorry if I'm being selfish... I kept my distance from you because I was afraid myself...' he laughed while crying, 'I was afraid to understand my feelings for you

            'I... I don't know if you even like me... I don't even know what might happen between us after this conversation, but all I want to do is help you... because  I love you so much and it hurts to see you like this...'