12. Cruel Reality

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'Her shadow always in my mind and our memories just become nightmare and guilty. All about the sweetness now turning into ashes.'

Li Jun Jie

***

I don't know when I transformed into my man body but I don't feel the pain when I wake up this morning. I remember last night, I had drunk. Is wine help reduce the pain? So this morning I insist to investigate about Jia Ming Yue. I have to find her. I don't have any clue but met her last night make me knew that she is here. Before she gone, I have to find her. I have to talk to meet her even I still don't know what I shall talk to her.

"Young Master, do you want to go?", Xiao Ran asked when I meet her on the corridor.

"Uhm."

"Then let me follow you."

"No need. I want to go alone."

I want to look around and I don't want anyone follow me even I don't let Yu Wen follow me. I don't want if something bad happened I will bring Yu Wen down with me. I don't want make mistake anymore.

Today the city is crowded. A lot of people shopping on the street but I am going to riverbank where I met her last night. Perhaps I still hoping that I can meet her over there but when I see no one except me

With this body I feel so weak but I don't have choice. I prefer find Jia Ming Yue as Li Jun Jie. I want to meet her. I know that I am so naïve. I know from the start Jia Ming Yue never love me. She never look at me even all woman in the city known me as a handsome man but for Jia Ming Yue, I just eye sore for her.

I am so stupid but I can't stop this love. I can't stop for loving her. Even I had slept with a lot of girls but there is only Jia Ming Yue in my heart. I tainted my reputation as minister's son because I don't think about marriage if I am not with her. I know her heart isn't for me but heard from her mouth that she betrayed my family, my heart broken into the pieces. I just can blame myself.

Now, I still looking for her. I want to see her. I want to hug her. I am stupid, right? Even she had been killed my family still I don't want to kill her.

"Li Jun Jie. You were here?"

I hear her voice from behind. I don't know what should I feel right now. I turned around and see Jia Ming Yue in her amber clothes. I remember that she likes amber colour.

"Ming Yue."

She looks at me with full resentment. I don't understand why she always look at me with that gaze. I approach her but she points sword in her palm on me. This scene makes my heart in pain. Can she explain to me?

"Don't come near!"

I stopped.

"Li Jun Jie, do you know that I always hate you? I always hold this feeling? I am so disgusting by you and Li family! Do you know that I always waiting time when Li Jun Yang died."

"What?!"

I am shocked with her words...

"But my family always treat you as daughter but..."

"What....You said daughter?" She laughed but I know she just mocking me. "Do you know how your father had been blamed my father for what he had been done?! Do you know that I have to hold this grudge and acts as good girl in front of your family. They treat me as their slave. I have to help you."

"But..."

"Have you ever know what I want the most?! I want to kill all Li family, so when I get the chance why I have to let go that chance since you father's sins is so big. You can see how Sky hear my pray?!"

"Ming Yue...you..."

"Why? I am here, in front of you. You can kill me."

Kill her? How come I can kill her since my heart only for her? Her eyes full resentment towards me, She had been killed my family and I supposed kill her too but I cannot. Her shadow always in my mind and our memories just become nightmare and guilty. All about the sweetness now turning into ashes.

"Why!!! Li Jun Jie don't act like righteous man! I know you wants to kill me! Kill me now or you will regret!"

I am shocked and now I don't know what should acts. I just can blame my self for loving her.

"I know that I am not good person so why you keep me alive?!"

"What?!"

"Ming Yue, have you ever likes me?"

"I never like you. Not a little bit." She said. " Do you know? I don't have any intention to keep you alive. That time I cannot find you and they said that you were escaped. I don't understand why Sky let you alive until now since I give you poison and now you make me surprise. I never thought that we can meet here. Why you still alive! Li Jun Jie, I hate you! I hate you! I wish you go to hell!"

"What...."

I am broken right now when hear her curse to me. Why I give my heart for her? I let my family die in her hand and Cheng Sheng Lin. Supposedly, I kill her now but in front of Jia Ming Yue, my body become numb. Why I am so weak?! I hate myself now.

"Jia Ming Yue, Do you know that I love you? I promise to protect you but-"

"Li Jun Jie! You said you want to protect me?!" She is laughing. "You even cannot protect your family how come I trust your promise?! Li Jun Jie, your love just trash and burden for me? How can I trust a 'love' word from a man like you?!"

"Jia Ming Yue...my promise to you is real."

"Puih!! I feel so disgusted now!"

She want to slash my neck fortunately I can avoid her attack. To be honest, I never know if Jia Ming Yue can do martial arts. I am startled because she is really excellent in martial art. I am so lucky because Yu Wen come and help me. I see them attack each other until Ming Yue stopped but later Cheng Sheng Lin come with his army!

His fierce face meets mine. I don't understand why this man always disturbing me.

"Li Jun Jie, just give up!"

"Never!"

"Ming Yue! You bring him here?!"

"Yes, I am!"

***

Thank you so much for your encouragement during this time. Please take care. God Bless ^.^

Dreamians

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