Dernière Danse [Jikook]

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Valley Of The Dolls - Marina And The Diamonds

This is the first time in a while where Jimin feels like he's not mentally prepared as he would like to be, in general.

Usually Jimin oozes with confidence in his shows, performances, even while going to those ice skating practices when he knows he might fall on his face a few times. It could be that he just simply doesn't care or he's just immune to be emotionally intimidated by anything.

So what makes this different now? This feel of unease to the unpreparedness composure?

Well first off this morning after his breakfast date with Taemin, that went really well, but became a vomiting mess when he got back to his apartment. No, not because the food did him bad - if anything it was quite delicious - but because of the urging need he has now to stick his fingers down his throat and hurl whatever was in his stomach out. He doesn't like feeling full, or just the thought of food in his body.

Not like it's something he'll ever express out in the open either way, especially to his coaches - Both ballet and ice skating. Sometimes he finds random moments in his day where he would look to the mirror, criticizing his body to every single angle and curve- judging on how to perfect it to his ideal physic, and how to make it easier for himself to dance.

The answer became simple; Food had to be eliminated from the equation. If he wanted to do performances with partners, especially men, he had to be weightless to be carried and not grow tired because of a cheeseburger he had for lunch. The thought of anyone criticizing him for being too heavy gnawed his mind, eating away his consciousness to be perfect to get perfect results.

Once he began, he couldn't stop. His thrive with the need to be perfect became more like a light in a tunnel, desperate on reaching over to it to make his mark in this country as the best dancer in the world. To fully express himself on stage, regardless of who he's dancing with and not have any risks while doing so.

Food became just for show, but in reality he finds it unnecessarily if it means it's in the way of his progress.

After puking, he weighed himself to see he lost four more pounds in a week, now weighing 54 kg which is around 120 pounds.

It actually made him smile, but he still wasn't satisfied.

But besides that unpleasant morning, the main reason for his dwindle of unease confidence is to what happened after that when he got into the studio. It's not everyday that he gets a message from Jeongguk while he was in the midst of practicing his routine from the CD Taemin sent out to him, confirming it's Jeongguk himself and how he wants to meet up to discuss this whole skating thing.

Jimin wanted to ignore it, he really did, but at the same time he was curious. He can't be serious about actually doing this pair skating thing is he? Tomorrow is Jimin's last trail day, and if there's no partner than Jackson has said that he doesn't have to continue with the program.

What could Jeongguk possibly want?

Those thoughts banged Jimin's mind as he goes up the elevator to the address Jeongguk gave him. It's a bit weird having to meet up at his place, which just makes Jimin's mind wander if he has some ulterior motives since Jimin is the culprit to his brother's heartbreak.

This is not a public location, it's literally Jeongguk's dormitory.

Seems like he skipped over the first and second base and went directly to third.